Official language of the EU just announced
KustmAce
10-28-2005, 08:00 PM
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which as the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase- in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!
clawhammer
10-28-2005, 08:04 PM
I actually wouldn't mind that at all. Sure it might be a little hard for those of us who already speak the language, but someone growing up learning english that way would find that it makes much more sense.
-The Stig-
10-28-2005, 08:05 PM
lmao...
Andydg
10-28-2005, 11:11 PM
:lol2: That was good!!! :lol:
jcz1987
10-29-2005, 01:17 AM
LOL! good one!
Damien
10-29-2005, 01:20 AM
old...but a still a good read! :lol:
2.2 Straight six
10-29-2005, 02:01 AM
is it a bad thing if it took me like 15 mins to read it ?
still funny though.
still funny though.
BNaylor
10-29-2005, 12:13 PM
Lustig! Sehr gut meines Herr. :lol2:
ci5ic
10-31-2005, 09:27 AM
looks alot like txt msging.
MonsterBengt
10-31-2005, 10:02 AM
They're pretty behind evolution, the first three years is called 'Swedish' were I live :D Fotograf is the swedish spelling for photograph, and we dont have silent "e"'s, double vowals nor "ph"'s ('cept for afew names).
How about When - Wen, Where - were, Who - Ho?
How about When - Wen, Where - were, Who - Ho?
craigcully
10-31-2005, 12:43 PM
looks alot like txt msging.
:lol:
No kidding. :disappoin
:lol:
No kidding. :disappoin
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