For those who drive or driven in Toronto

I found this somewhere on the Internet and found it hillarius. The sad part is that these are also facts.

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN TORONTO:

Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Toronto driver never uses them.

Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive body work. Ontario is no-fault insurance so the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the Toronto area during rush hour.

Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Toronto driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Toronto.

Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

Learn to swerve abruptly. Toronto is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the MTO, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

It is traditional in Toronto to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

Remember that the goal of every Toronto driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

Real Toronto women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at a hundred and ten kilometers per hour in bumper-to-bumper
traffic.

Real Toronto men drivers can remove their girlfriends panties and bra at a hundred and ten kilometers per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

In the Toronto area, flipping someone the bird is considered an Ontario salute, this gesture should always be returned.

Haha. You think that is bad. . . you should come to Southern Cali and drive sometime. You'll shit your pants.

Haha. You think that is bad. . . you should come to Southern Cali and drive sometime. You'll shit your pants.

Try driving in Toronto during winter time w/snow & ice on the roads. Theres also the imfamous black ice (large area of the road that look's dry but is covered w/a very thin layer of ice). For the unexpierienced winter driver, this shit is fatal.

You could replace the word "Toronto" in that with any other major world city and everyone from that place would think that it is "right on". Toronto is by no means special. I personally don't think driving in Toronto is any different from other northern large cities. The most different in my opinion is New York City, simply because nobody will ever let you give you room to change lanes there, you just have to go and MAKE them give you room. Traffic in California is pretty bad and sometimes you hit traffic for no apparent reason, but people as a whole there tend to be fairly courteous and driving isn't terribly difficult there if you can put up with the traffic. Miami and New Jersey are by far the FASTEST places I've driven where you're getting passed left and right if you're going 80 mph on the highway.

Try driving in Toronto during winter time w/snow & ice on the roads. Theres also the imfamous black ice (large area of the road that look's dry but is covered w/a very thin layer of ice). For the unexpierienced winter driver, this shit is fatal.


Try driving in San Diego when it rains

you would have though hell opened up and swallowed San Diego.
I'd much rather take my chanced in the ice.
You could replace the word "Toronto" in that with any other major world city and everyone from that place would think that it is "right on". Toronto is by no means special. I personally don't think driving in Toronto is any different from other northern large cities. The most different in my opinion is New York City, simply because nobody will ever let you give you room to change lanes there, you just have to go and MAKE them give you room. Traffic in California is pretty bad and sometimes you hit traffic for no apparent reason, but people as a whole there tend to be fairly courteous and driving isn't terribly difficult there if you can put up with the traffic. Miami and New Jersey are by far the FASTEST places I've driven where you're getting passed left and right if you're going 80 mph on the highway.


Courteous? are you kidding me?. haha. Try the rudest state in the world. We are world famous for the old, switch lanes and put on the blinkers at the same time. I get cut off so much here tat I don't even bother to get mad it's just part of life.

Here in good ol SD, I can drive 80 in a 65 and have cops pass me.

hehe.

heh, good stuff. There's always something to look out for when driving around T.O.

Can already feel that winter's on the way, roads should be fun in a month or so (good ol' black ice.)

Gotta love it.