Smart Arse

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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> >TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
> >SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
> >TEACHER: What are you talking about?
> >SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
>
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> >TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
> >GEORGE: Here it is!
> >TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
> >CLASS: George!
>
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> >TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
> >didn't have ten years ago.
> >WILLY: Me!
>
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> >TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
> >TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
>
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> >SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
> >FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
> >SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
>
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> >TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
> >JOSE: Don't bite any.
>
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> >TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
> >ELLEN: I is...
> >TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
> >ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
>
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> >Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
> >Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
> >same time."
>
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> >Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
> >Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his
father
> >didn't punish him?"
> >Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
>
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> >Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
> >Father : No. Why do you ask that?
> >Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
>
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> >Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
> >green and one is blue with red spots!
> >Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same
> >at home.
>
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> >At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
> >5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I
> >musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's
still
> >got
> >hers."
>
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> >Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
> >him, what virtue would I be showing?
> >Student: Brotherly love.
>
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> >Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
> >eating?
> >Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
>
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> >Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
> >as your brother's. Did u copy his?
> >Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
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> >Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
> >are no longer interested?
> >Pupil : A teacher.
> >

Cute, very cute :)http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/icons/icon14.gif

This actually happened at my mom's elementary school:

This little boy was taking a "test" to see if he was ready for 1st grade. The teacher asked him, "What animal gives us Pork?" The little boy answered "A porcupine."

:hehehe:

:D :D ...Gotta luv them eh !!

Rofl very nice :lol2: :lol2: