just about everything....

....sucks right now.

im snowed under with work at college (16-18 in england) icna't actually sit down and work at home, either im distracted or uncomfortable or something else, so every morning im up at 6:45 (not helped by my insomnia, can't sleep till around 1:30am) so im up at 6:45, i leave the house at 7:30, walk for 30 mins to golders green to the bus station, bus for 10-15 mins to hendon where my college is. so im usually in around 8:05 (ok, i dunno if the timing doesn't add up to be exact) and i sit down in one of the rooms to do my work that i couldn't do, i either use that time in the morning, 8:05-8:50, of free periods depending when the lesson is.

i'm not stressed cos of the teachers, they're all really nice, an grear people, its the work and the stress of working flat-out (doin an 2 year course in 1 year) but im doin my best, i get a report thing every two weeks, to show effort etc.. 1 being the higest 5 being the lowest; i got something like a pair of 3s, five 2s and a 1. so im trying hard an making the effort to get the work done, i've only been late on work like 3-4 times, which is ok for me.

im doin plenty of work, which is real tiring an i hate that i cant sleep. i go through a 200-page pad in a week. and im meant to do 2 hours of homework a night !

then about an hour ago, im in the kitchen im sitting down about to do my work, well try to do it anyway, an i get up to get water from the fridge. my sister (who only got back from uni about 30 mins previous) pounces an steals my seat, now i cant sit in the next seat cos there's stuff in the way, my other work, yes there is that much. so im like "what the fuck ? i gotta do my homework." and she's like "yea, but you not doing it now are you ?"

whats up with that ? i wanted to say: "maybe you dont know what working hard is like anymore, what do you do in your lectures ? sit an nurse your hangover right ?" but i held myself back, for the sake of not dropping her in shit while my mum was there. she owes me sometimes.

so im sitting here, in front of the fucking computer, distraced, yet happy cos im talking to a friend who's always there for me.

oh, an another thing. i've fallen out with a really good mate over an honest mistake on my part. a bit more than a year ago a guy we knew was in a serious car accident, his car ploughed into the back of a truck's trailer, he was very badly injured an was taken to intensive care. my friend was the last person to see him alive, an on his deathbed in the hospital he said to my mate "take the ring off my little finger (pinkie) an i want you to keep it, to remember me." so, to fulfill his wish my friend did so.

the guy always beleived that this ring (given to him by his grandfather) would protect him, it the zig-zig patter pointed away from his body. so in his memory me an a few other that knew him found rings with similar-ish patterns, and we always wear them.

now, whenever i wash my hands i take the ring off, force of habit, an either hold it in my teeth or slip it in my pocket. so yesterday i did this. and forgot to put it back on.

so, on my way home i see my mate, a happy surprise, i dont get to see him in person too often. so i say hi an he's like "oh, hi. how are y......" an he looks down to my left hand. and says "what the fuck ? you not wearing the ring these days huh ? well you must'a changed since i saw you last (about 4 days before) you just disrespecting tim's grave now ? you weren't his friend huh ? thats the thing he'd want you to do, wear the damn ring to remember him." an gets real pissed off, storms off gets in his car an drives off.

i walk about 5 paces, an i always put my hands in my back pocket when i walk, low an behold, i find the damn ring in my back pocket. so im pissed that something so small, and an honest mistake has got a good mate really pissed off with me.

for women trouble, look in MBTN's "underage jailbait" thread.

I like that.

i'm the same way you are in, i just can't get my work done at home. there are too many distractions. as a result, i'm pretty much in the library most of the day and only do work at home at night.

for sleep i usually take two 2.5 to 3 hr naps in a 24hr period. i sleep from around 6-8:30 pm, stay up all night reading or something(less distractions at night) then if i have no tests the next day, i go back to sleep again at around 5am and get up again at 7:30 to get ready for class.

so far this schedule is paying off, the lowest grade i have recieved is 92%
but, then again, its only October.

my sister doing anything like that after a long day of classes would cause me to snap.
but luckily my sis is 500 mile away.

the thing that makes me angry though, on a daily basis, is the lack of ready food in my house. i mean, i come home tired-ass and i expect to have some food ready, but nothing. i mean, GODDAMMIT, i live at home for a reason.

But you know what, it will be worth it. 10yrs from now, i'll have my MD and in 15yrs, i'll have my aston martin :)

your not alone. be proud knowing your getting better grades than everyone else. thats one of the things that keep me afloat; getting higher grades then my friends.

stay with it man, it will pay off.

and if it doesn't, go on a killing spree.

yea my sister lives about 400 miles away, sh'es come home for the weekend. same for me, no food, nothing for breakfast an nothing for dinner.

i usually get in an hour early to do all my work, or liek now i got the weekend to do it.

im not getting like top grade for my tests an stuff, but all the teachers say im trying hard. im the slowest in all my classes an everyone takes the piss for it. that doesnt get to me though, cos i know im doing my best.

aston martin eh ? go to central london on a weekday an you see loads of them. but yea i know what you mean, hard work pays off.

thanks by the way.

Sell the computer for food.

my computer ? no-one would pay money for that. its not in a great condition an it like to go sloooooowly.

sell your body for food.

if anything.. eggs and bread are cheap.











I wouldnt worry too much though.. this hard work will pay off. Its harder making it in the working class world without that education.

hey man i know what you're talking about...last year my ex was living with me(we were going out at the time) and i had NO time for homework...ended up failing one class and dropping two....you have to find a quiet place to do things...and caffiene will mess you up if you take too much of it man...good luck, you've got my wishes....

oh and i'll bet that you have described everything to your friend right? he might be a little mad now, but for now, just make sure to keep it on....

no, he's still pissed. i saw him on the way home the other day. he just tried to walk off an i grabbed him by the shoulder an told him to listen to what i had to say, my other mate was sitting in the car takin my side an tellin the first one that i wasnt bullshitting. he didn't listen, so i got in the car an well, hid it a few streets away got rid of the other one an i got the keys.

i phoned an said he aint gettin his keys until he listens to me. i dont care if he doesnt forgive me as long as he listens an realises that it was a mistake.

i dont have any caffine in my diet, nor do i have any tourine or other stimulants. i dont drink coca-cola or coffee or anything. so far i've eaten 2/3 of a bag of chocolate buscuits today.

my friend's pissed but i know he'll want the car sooner or later an since he doesnt know where it is he'll have to talk to me (my other mate said i kicked him out an kept going) i'm pretty sure he wont go to the police, i've saved his ass plenty of times and he owes me.