Sexual Calorie Conter

It has been known for many years that sex is good excercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after origional and propietary research they are proud to present the results.............

REMOVING HER COLTHES
With her consent.........................12 Calories
Without her consent.....................187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA
With both hands..........................8 Calories
With one hand............................12 Calories
With your teeth...........................85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM
With an erection.........................6 Calories
Without an erection....................315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES
Trying to find the Clitoris............8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot............92 Calories

POSITIONS
Missionairy................................12 Calories
69 Lying down...........................78 Calories
69 Standing up..........................112 Calories
Wheelbarrow.............................216 Calories
Doggy Style..............................326 Calories
Itallian Chandelier.....................912 Calories

ORGASMS
Real.......................................112 Calories
Fake......................................315 Calories

POST ORGASM
Lying in bed cuddling..................18 Calories
Getting up immediatley...............36 Calories
Explaing why you got up immedatly....816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION If you are...............
20-29 Years old........................36 Calories
30-39 Years old........................80 Calories
40-49 Years old........................124 Calories
50-59 Years old........................972 Calories
60-69 Years old........................2916 Years old
70 and over.............................Results still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS
Calmly...................................32 Calories
In a hurry...............................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door.............1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..............3521 Calories

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi

With her father knocking at the door.............1218 Calories

hehe, i know aobut THAT one ;)

Hahaha now can you do it from a woman's perspective??? :p :D :angel:

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Hahaha now can you do it from a woman's perspective??? :p :D :angel:

LAYING THERE WHILE HE REMOVES YOUR CLOTHES
.........................0 Calories

LAYING THERE WHILE HE DOES ALL THE WORK
.........................0 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM
With an erection.........................6 Calories
Without an erection....................315 Calories


LOL...good stuff.

POST ORGASM
Explaing why you got up immedatly....816 Calories

a really bad excuse to use is "what?!, I was done and going home"

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi

70 and over.............................Results still pending


With your wife knocking at the door..............3521 Calories

:eek: :eek: :eek:

:D :D :D

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Hahaha now can you do it from a woman's perspective??? :p :D :angel:

Sorry,it needs the insight of a wise and worldly woman to do that...give it your best shot,I dare ya!!!!


BTW,I'm putting on a lot of weight just lately:(

Originally posted by taranaki


Sorry,it needs the insight of a wise and worldly woman to do that...give it your best shot,I dare ya!!!!


BTW,I'm putting on a lot of weight just lately:( OK, I'll give it a shot.

Sexual Calorie counting from a woman's perspective:
REMOVING HIS CLOTHES
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories
With his consent.........................12 Calories

I think that suffices! :D :D

As for the putting on weight, you must not be trying hard enough. There's some major calories to be burned in that list! Why not try this one:

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS
With your wife knocking at the door..............3521 Calories

Considering you need to burn 3,000 calories to lose a kilo..............


:angel: :D

Originally posted by taranaki



BTW,I'm putting on a lot of weight just lately:(

Thats what happens when you get old:finger:

As founder member of the AF senior crew,I resemble that remark.:finger:

Originally posted by taranaki
As founder member of the AF senior crew,I resemble that remark.:finger:
The youth off today eh Mr T......they show no respect
:bloated: :bloated: :bloated: :bloated: :bloated:

Go get him !!!

Originally posted by primera man

The youth off today eh Mr T......they show no respect
:bloated: :bloated: :bloated: :bloated: :bloated:

Go get him !!!

*cups hand to ear*Whaaat?

Originally posted by taranaki


*cups hand to ear*Whaaat?

Hang on...i'll just get my walking frame and come over to tell you

Angels like tangie need to have these sexual matters explained... :angel:

Tangie has NO idea what anything in this thread could possibly infer!!! :bloated:

Originally posted by saturntangerine
Angels like tangie need to have these sexual matters explained... :angel:

Tangie has NO idea what anything in this thread could possibly infer!!! :bloated:


yeah....riiiiiight....

is this Tangie?

http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/pictures/images/classic/classic015.jpg

Originally posted by taranaki



yeah....riiiiiight....

is this Tangie?

http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/pictures/images/classic/classic015.jpg


Sorry for going OT

but I hate you Mr T :finger4: :finger4:


That picture just HAD to be in front of me when I had a mouthful of Coke:rolleyes: I cracked up so hard at it, that the fizzy drink came out my nose, burning every possible thing on its way up and now there is Coke all over my keyboard.......................:mad: :D

don't know what is funnier, Mr T's pic or Mos' reply.

:hehe: :buck

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi



Sorry for going OT

but I hate you Mr T :finger4: :finger4:


That picture just HAD to be in front of me when I had a mouthful of Coke:rolleyes: I cracked up so hard at it, that the fizzy drink came out my nose, burning every possible thing on its way up and now there is Coke all over my keyboard.......................:mad: :D

It wasn't me,the sheep made me do it!!!!:finger: :finger: :finger:

I am an :angel:

I would never EVER do any of those terrible things aforementioned.

Originally posted by saturntangerine
I am an :angel:

I would never EVER do any of those terrible things aforementioned.

I dont beleive a word you just said !!!!

Originally posted by saturntangerine
I am an :angel:

I would never EVER do any of those terrible things aforementioned.

Look out Spex,looks like you have competition!:devil: