Sorry if this is in the wrong forum
oraxid24124
08-03-2005, 11:31 PM
Alright, sorry if this isn't the right forum for this but I kind of need some help with a friends sitiuation.
The Sitiuation:
My friends mom (i think close to 40 yrs.) was in a swimming pool a few days ago and for some reason she tried to get out (she had been drinking alil bit but not much) instead of getting out safely she fell out and she died shortly after i think. The coroner determined it was a heart attack and thought she might have felt the heart attack and was trying to get out. Well anyways, today was the veiwing and my friend was sitting at the head of the casket, elbows on knees, face in hands from 3 or 4 oclock until everyone left at around 9 or 10 they said that he has made every intention to stay in that same spot for the night. He didnt lift his head or talk to anyone. I remebered how close he was to his mom, he has a tattoo on his arm that says "mamas boy" he would always talk about how proud he was of that tattoo. So in other words his mom was his best friend throughout his whole life she has always been there for him. She was one of those moms that was totally cool to everyone.
I've heard that when he walks through the house now that he dont say anything he just looks at his step-dad and his lil brother like he dont have the will to live anymore and I dont think he has said a word to anybody since it happened about 3 or 4 days ago.
Any advice on how to get him to talk or just not for him to feel so bad? or should i just let him get through it on his own and just be there for him just incase?
The Sitiuation:
My friends mom (i think close to 40 yrs.) was in a swimming pool a few days ago and for some reason she tried to get out (she had been drinking alil bit but not much) instead of getting out safely she fell out and she died shortly after i think. The coroner determined it was a heart attack and thought she might have felt the heart attack and was trying to get out. Well anyways, today was the veiwing and my friend was sitting at the head of the casket, elbows on knees, face in hands from 3 or 4 oclock until everyone left at around 9 or 10 they said that he has made every intention to stay in that same spot for the night. He didnt lift his head or talk to anyone. I remebered how close he was to his mom, he has a tattoo on his arm that says "mamas boy" he would always talk about how proud he was of that tattoo. So in other words his mom was his best friend throughout his whole life she has always been there for him. She was one of those moms that was totally cool to everyone.
I've heard that when he walks through the house now that he dont say anything he just looks at his step-dad and his lil brother like he dont have the will to live anymore and I dont think he has said a word to anybody since it happened about 3 or 4 days ago.
Any advice on how to get him to talk or just not for him to feel so bad? or should i just let him get through it on his own and just be there for him just incase?
Rally Sport
08-03-2005, 11:36 PM
Damn, that blows big time, what you gotta do is try to get him to move on and accept the fact that she is gone, how to do this is up to you, because you know what he likes and stuff. It's either this OR you just got to let him deal with it on his own and it'll take a while.
eversio11
08-03-2005, 11:37 PM
It's called mourning. Everyone goes through it.
oraxid24124
08-03-2005, 11:46 PM
yea nobody wouldve guessed it wouldve been her. Im still shocked from it. I just dont know how to approach him about it. He knows that all of us are here for him but he wont talk or anything. I know the feeling of loosing a close one and id say he is still really shocked of her not being there for him
oraxid24124
08-03-2005, 11:50 PM
It's called mourning. Everyone goes through it.
yea i know is just mourning.....i was kinda looking to a way to aproach him to get him to try to move on
yea i know is just mourning.....i was kinda looking to a way to aproach him to get him to try to move on
eversio11
08-04-2005, 12:12 AM
The only thing that will help it is time.
imtheoneandonlyD
08-04-2005, 12:23 AM
I know how that is. I lost my mom in May to cancer. I couldnt just sit around at home though. I wanted to be with my friends because they make me happy. It was just to depressing to sit all alone not being able to get your mind off of something like that.
lamehonda
08-04-2005, 12:29 AM
Yeah man, he will probably start coming back around in a month or two. He is going to be sad for alot longer than that though.
Andydg
08-04-2005, 12:40 AM
My best friend's little sister died on Memorial Day and the same sort of thing was going on with him. We (my other friends and I) gave him about a week and a half then we just went over to his house one or two at a time over the course of the next week just getting him out of the house, which really helped a lot. After about a month everything started going back as close to normal as it could be.
AlmostStock
08-04-2005, 12:07 PM
Time is the key. You and your friends can offer to do stuff with him when he feels ready.
TexasF355F1
08-04-2005, 12:17 PM
It is mourning, but sometimes people never escape from the mourning cycle. Talk to him, even though he may not want to talk just tell him that you are there for him and if he wants to talk no matter how busy you are you will make time for him. Tell him how everyone is really concerned about him that he is okay.
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