Obit.
Officer Redneck
07-29-2005, 07:08 PM
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr.Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place-reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual hareaament for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for repremanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer asprin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses and criminals recieved better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife Discretion; his daughter, Responsibilty and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, let someone else know and if not, join the majority and do nothing.
I know, it's long but it makes a lot of "sense".
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place-reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual hareaament for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for repremanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer asprin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses and criminals recieved better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife Discretion; his daughter, Responsibilty and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, let someone else know and if not, join the majority and do nothing.
I know, it's long but it makes a lot of "sense".
-Josh-
07-29-2005, 07:28 PM
Gorgeous
Rally Sport
07-29-2005, 08:02 PM
Yup I knew he kicked the bucket.
Heep
07-29-2005, 09:39 PM
:(
We should send a copy of this to all the politicians :D
We should send a copy of this to all the politicians :D
blindside.AMG
07-30-2005, 01:45 AM
May he rise and come again..........SOON!!!
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