Simple Humor
Jimmiz71
06-23-2005, 01:04 PM
A friend passed this on to me... it gave me a chuckle..enjoy
Reasons Not To Mess With A Child *****************************************
>A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
>said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
>even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
>very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
>Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
>human; it was physically impossible.
>The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
>The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
>The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
> ****************************************
>A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
>they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
>child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
>she asked what the drawing was.
>The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
>Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
>replied, "They will in a minute."
> ****************************************
>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
>five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"
>thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
>teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
>"Thou shall not kill."
>
>****************************************
>The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
>persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
>nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
>'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
>A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
>teacher, She's dead. "
> ****************************************
>The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
>school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
>The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
>"Take only ONE. God is watching."
>Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was
>a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,
>"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
******************************************
-Jimmy
Reasons Not To Mess With A Child *****************************************
>A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
>said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
>even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
>very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
>Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
>human; it was physically impossible.
>The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
>The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
>The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
> ****************************************
>A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
>they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
>child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
>she asked what the drawing was.
>The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
>Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
>replied, "They will in a minute."
> ****************************************
>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
>five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"
>thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
>teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
>"Thou shall not kill."
>
>****************************************
>The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
>persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
>nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
>'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
>A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
>teacher, She's dead. "
> ****************************************
>The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
>school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
>The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
>"Take only ONE. God is watching."
>Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was
>a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,
>"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
******************************************
-Jimmy
YogsVR4
06-23-2005, 01:12 PM
cute :lol2:
Zaphod Beeblebrox
06-23-2005, 01:24 PM
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
LMAO
LMAO
tonioseven
06-23-2005, 01:28 PM
:sunglasse
rebelqueen1985
06-23-2005, 01:35 PM
LOL very cute! i loved the last one and the Thou Shall not kill for the brothers and sisters.
its nice to have something on this website that gives us a break.
its nice to have something on this website that gives us a break.
fredjacksonsan
06-23-2005, 01:52 PM
Good stuff. :)
(Happy b-d, rebelqueen)
(Happy b-d, rebelqueen)
Neutrino
06-23-2005, 02:12 PM
the first and last one were awesome :lol:
TexasF355F1
06-23-2005, 03:03 PM
:lol:
Cyprus106
06-23-2005, 03:06 PM
heard em. still refreshing.
twospirits
06-23-2005, 03:39 PM
the first and last one were awesome :lol::iagree:
plus I never heard them before.
TS out (eating the cookies)
plus I never heard them before.
TS out (eating the cookies)
drewh4386
06-23-2005, 05:18 PM
Kids say the darnest things.
BrodyP
06-23-2005, 06:12 PM
Yup 1st and last are great funny stuff =)
honda_racing101
06-23-2005, 06:19 PM
:lol: :rofl: ahhh I loved those!!!!
Knifeblade
06-23-2005, 07:35 PM
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
>teacher, She's dead.
This my fave.
>teacher, She's dead.
This my fave.
jcsaleen
06-23-2005, 09:08 PM
Lmao love the first one.
RickwithaTbird
06-23-2005, 10:06 PM
fuckin awesome. Im not sure if its because Ive had 5 shots in the last 15 minutes, or if its because those were hilarious, but im laughing my ass off.
imtheoneandonlyD
06-24-2005, 01:48 AM
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
LMAO
:iagree: actually laughed at that one.
LMAO
:iagree: actually laughed at that one.
jyot soni
06-28-2005, 02:18 PM
some really good stuff. my personal favorite are the first and last ones. :rofl: :lol2: kids are smart and one should not mess around with them because one may never know what might be the next words out of their cute little mouth. :lol:
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