I have to give a speech

I just realized that I'm the best man for my best friend's wedding that's coming up in two weeks... and I don't have a speech. He calls me up and says 'you know you have to make a speech right?' I said of course. In my head I was saying 'oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit'... So in a last-ditch effort to get out of making a speech I tried to convince him not to get married, or at least wait a year. I'm sure I could come up with something in a freaking year. He wouldn't give though. I figured I could just get toasted and say whatever comes to mind, but if nothing does, then I'm screwed. :banghead:

Generic suggestions? Anyone know of any wedding speeches? The most I've got to work with is Wedding Singer and Old School.

Honestly, don't make a speech. Go with your gut instinct and just let things fly as the moment goes on. My cousin wrote a speech for his bro's wedding, I told him he wasn't going to use it. He didn't and went off the head and made an amazing speech. My friend a few weeks ago wrote one and i told him he wouldn't use it. Neither did he.

It'll mean a lot more if you go up there and just tell everyone what kind of person he is and why you like his new wife and why you're happy they found each other. Sincerity isn't something you can pre-plan, it just comes. Besides he's your best friend you should be able to think of all sorts of things.

Live in the moment and I guarantee everyone will love your speech and he will appreciate it.

^^ true about the sincerity part. however, we've got two subjects and no CONTROL, in that theory. Both guys wrote a speech prior to not using it. I'm sure that writing a rough draft will help while you're up there wingin it. It's your friend dude. I'm sure you can come up with something. Write a page whether you use it or not, so that you have some idea what to say. Also, writing will help you remember important things not to leave out. And that way as you're speaking, you'll have some idea how to incorporate it into the speech. Don't go up there with nothing to say and make a horrible speech at your best friend's wedding.

I gave a speech for my dads. I had something planned but couldnt remember it, and I was wasted out of my freaking mind, so i just made it up, i aparently made people cry because it was so sweet...either that or it offended nearly everyone there, i cant remember which one it is...

Just say, you guys like eachother and thats cool. Even though I think its a big mistake and you should leave the whore and hook up with her sister i guess its cool. You guys remind me of vodka and cranberry juice. Seperate you both suck, but together i can halfway stand you.

I promise if you say that you will never be asked to give another speach again.


On a serious note, good luck with it, just wing it youll be alright.

His parents are both deeply religious. His father is a pastor and doesn't approve of their marriage (premarital sex. shame on them) and they're trying to stay on the best graces he'll allow them. My goal was to mess all that up.

shit now I'm getting nervous about what to say.

Say the honest truth. They're all adults right? Just don't be an ass about it. I'm sure you can write a speech the day before...you just have to know how to start it off.

What do you want to know exactly? I took a whole course on public speech. It really helped alot. One thing I'll tell you off the bat watch the "Verbal baggage" (means dont use aaaa.... ummm... like... etc) Take a second and pause instead you will actually increase the attention of the audience but dont do it too much. Write it down a week before and rehearse a couple times. Use examples aka memories because they're easy to remember and you can always ellaborate in the middle of a speech and you can prolong the agony.... I mean speech time... :biggrin:
Just messing with you. Keep note of the baggage and make a quick note even and your set.

I say, get smashed right before you have to give a toast/speech. Then, when the time comes, just pretend to pass out. If that doesn't work, I say just run when your moment comes.

That was my idea to is to get smashed and pass out.

Cyprus, for the love of god, relax.

First thing, everyone there realizes that you don't do this often and you might be nervous so their not going to be that critical. They are all there to have a good time and it's a happy day so thier not going to start pelting you with dinner rolls.

Second thing, keep it short, one or two minutes tops. Nothing sucks more than a speech that drags on.

Third, write out an outline of the speech, go over it a few times and then just write down the keywords. Don't try to memorize the speech word for word, just remember the main things you want to talk about.

example - all your going to remember is "First time I met her" then you just start talking about the first time you met her, if anything happened, when you started to get to know her, etc. It's easy, it flows well and most importantly, it's really you talking and it's sincere.

Finally, figure out what to say and what order to say it. For my speech, this is the outline I came up with.

-How long we've been friends / How well I know him
-How thrilled I was when he told me he met someone
-The first time I met her / What my first impressions were / What I thought of her after I got to know her
-How happy he was when he told me he was getting married

then I started talking to the two of them
-I told them how happy everyone was to be there on thier special day and how much everyone cared for them and loved them.

hold up a glass, say something very cliche' about love, say "To his name and her name" take a drink.


I have no problem speaking in public but my heart did jump when I saw the DJ walking to me with the mic, thats normal, just remember the speech and start talking, you'll calm down almost immediatly. If you start to get nervous, just look at your your friend while talking.

NO BOOZE before the speech, my friend did that and he spend two minutes repeating "I love you man...I just don't know what to say...I love you man...I just don't know what to say"

That's a shame about his parents being against the marriage for something like that. They obviously love each other, so what's the difference? What do you think of your best friends fiance?

she's not bad in my opinion. I've never had anything against her, except the fact that every time he comes into town, which is rare since he's in the marines, he spends every waking minute with her. No biggie, they're gettin married. lol we all kinda expected it when he'd say he was comin in.

I won't get completely lit. Just a little flask of SOMETHIN...

I say, get smashed right before you have to give a toast/speech. Then, when the time comes, just pretend to pass out. If that doesn't work, I say just run when your moment comes.
Just ensure you get videotaped when you pass out, I bet you can sell it for a few bucks to one of those Funniest Videos TV shows :eek7:

1] List some NICE things you know about bride and groom

2] Say you've known them for x years, and are glad they found each other, and you wish them all the happiness in the world.

3] Call a toast to "The new Mr. and Mrs. [insert last name]. Say Thank you to assemblage. Leave the stage.

4] Immediately finds the bar and a hot chick, there's always one around a wedding who can get swept up in the occassion :evillol:

Took me all of four minutes, and got laid in the process, hehe.

I've made a few wedding speeches, just tell a humerous (but not TOO embarrassing) story about the groom and that you've known him for a long time, met ... etc etc. Then say something nice about the bride and how their relationship is special, you're glad they found each other, etc etc. Don't need a formal speech, a loose framework is good, just a few ideas then link them together with your glib tongue.

As far as getting tanked, a few will help out, but too many will make the you drunk best man and the bride might be pissed at you for a long time.

hehe, I could tell the one about when he was staying with his g/f (now fiance) for a few weeks and he called me up and said "DUDE! You have GOT to get over here NOW and get me out of here!!!" when her parents pretended to leave and then walked in on them having sex in the shower. Tha'd be funny and mildly embarassing.

I want to give something nice, witty and touching or whatever, follow it up by a 'salude' to the couple. Something that's gonna get me laid immedietly afterwards by either a bridesmaid, guest, or hot older family member. If none are there I could totally get tanked.

I want to give something nice, witty and touching or whatever, follow it up by a 'salude' to the couple. Something that's gonna get me laid immedietly afterwards by either a bridesmaid, guest, or hot older family member. If none are there I could totally get tanked.

Something nice, witty, touching, and will get you laid? I'm sorry my friend, but there is no such thing known to mankind. If there was, I would be using the same trick day after day to my own advantage.

Try just focusing on one of the above. You have 4 choices. Choose wisely. And if all else fails, get tanked like you mentioned.

Something nice, witty, touching, and will get you laid? I'm sorry my friend, but there is no such thing known to mankind. If there was, I would be using the same trick day after day to my own advantage.


:lol2:

Me too.

Better yet, tank up a hot chick, but then that is not PC, is it??????????? Sigh.

Better yet, tank up a hot chick, but then that is not PC, is it??????????? Sigh.

:rofl:


PC? :angryfire :banghead:

you have two choices...
1-pay for it (there are numerous sites on the net that help you do a best man speech for a wedding. Alot of them are nicely priced too.

2-wing it and do it on the very same day.

3-really sit down and think of what your friend means to you and the connection you share with the married couple.

as for #1 above they range in prices from 10 bucks to over 100.

as for #2 above, you could do something like this..
Note: Names have been removed to protect the innocent (or guilty).
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to __(him)__ and __(her)___ wedding. I am so glad, honored and surprised that _(him)__ picked me as his best man, especially since I banged his new wife quite a few times. Infact we screwed last night. You have a very special lady there __(him)__. She knows every possible sex move there is. You are in good hands.
etc etc :cwm27:

seriously, all joking aside, you could and should do # 3..

Trying to convince your friend to postpone the wedding because you lack the words to say at his wedding is really quite (for lack of a better word) selfish. Be honored that he chose you and relax, sit down and think it through. Soon you will realize the words will come to you.

If you still can't then do # 1.

TS out

.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to __(him)__ and __(her)___ wedding. I am so glad, honored and surprised that _(him)__ picked me as his best man, especially since I banged his new wife quite a few times. Infact we screwed last night. You have a very special lady there __(him)__. She knows every possible sex move there is. You are in good hands.
etc etc :cwm27:




:lol:


Serioiusly, the first part is actually really good:

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to __(him)__ and __(her)___ wedding. I am so glad, honored and surprised that _(him)__ picked me as his best man

...but we have known each other for years so I kind of figured he'd put me on the spot like this. Thanks a lot buddy (toast him). But seriously (do I actually have to write the whole thing?)


Just relax.