What's the problem?

HUH!!!! I've only had my Durango for 3 weeks, have washed it at least 6 times, and treat it like a baby. However, I've had nothing but troubles with it since the day I drove it home. It's a 2001, 24,000 original miles, and looks like it was just driven from the factory. My check engine light continues to come on, my horn beeps, wipers turn on, and door locks click constantly. At night, my headlights blink franctically. It actually appears to be possessed. Dealer continues to say gas cap. I bought a new one. So, what's the deal? HUH?