Pick up lines : The First Draft

Pick-up Lines: The First Drafts...
Please excuse me if this isn't funny to anyone else...I've been drinking again

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.

:lol:

By Italian man: Do you have some Italian in you? No? Would you like to?


Kate, go to the beach! Don't waste your time in Corolla. Unless it's raining

I prefer: Do you have little oriental in you? Would you like one?

man the comedy of this post is lost on you guys.

they're SUPPOSED to be sarcastic versions of actual pick-up lines.

You must've fallen from heaven, cause you look like shit...

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Or is that a knife?

is that a flashlight in your pocket or do you just have an unexplained erection?

Nice shoes...wanna fu**

(I dont know what this is from, But my brother says it all the time)

:lol:

By Italian man: Do you have some Italian in you? No? Would you like to?


Kate, go to the beach! Don't waste your time in Corolla. Unless it's raining
:rofl:

You must be special, cause you sure are retarded...

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

The sad thing is, I have actually said that to a girl. Whats worse is she ended up going home with my friend instead of me...

I have actually said that to a girl. she ended up going home with my friend instead of me...

I'm SO suprised :rolleyes:

Lmfao.

Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.

Easily transmogrifies into: Are you wearing space pants? Because my ass looks fantastic!

Know what I like about you? No, not my arms, stupid. It must be that aura of unapproachable snottiness you seem to eminate.

Don't let my erection fool you, I'm not like all the other guys.


I get all the chicks.

"You must be a parking ticket, because you got FINE written all over you." -Quagmire

Funny stuff :lol2:

Has any one heard this one "You may not be the prittiest thing here, but beauty is just a light switch away." no, ok.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

Actual LOL!

"You must be a parking ticket, because you got FINE written all over you." -Quagmire

Should be translated to:

"You must be a parking ticket, or some other kind of punishable offense".

I hope this doesn't offend anyone!

"Please don't make this rape charge into a murder!"

"I may not be the best looking guy in this bar..... but i'm the only one talking to YOU!"

"Save water, shower with a me."

"You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy."
"
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread."

"I love every bone in your body, especially mine!"

Should be translated to:

"You must be a parking ticket, or some other kind of punishable offense".
Nah. The original is funny.

Here's a lame one, but I only heard it once and thought it was kinda funny;

Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?







Enough to break the ice...

Another I just remembered:

Guy: I bet I can guess your weight.
Girl: How?
Guy: By picking you up tonight.
Girl: Laughs
After she laughs, if she does you conclude it with
Guy: I like the original line better.
Girl: Whats that?
Guy: How much?

Never used this but my dads friend said he used it quite a bit and it worked nearly everytime. They couldn't keep from cracking a smile.

"Baby you're like a sharpie marker, you're fine and to the point."

from tucker max
guy: are you married?
girl: yes
guy: is it a happy marriage?
then take it from there if she says no your in

^uhh... no.

I like the windex one the best, because everyone expects to her "because I can see myself in your pants"

heres a funny one I never forget

"Is that a paycheck in your back pocket? Cuz I would love to tax that ass"

anyone ever tried "i'm lost, please take me home with you"

i have a shirt that says that, and i have yet to be taken home....

Nah. The original is funny.

The original is funny - but the humor in this thread (at least in the originating post) is about pick-up lines before they were perfected...when the author is trying different punchlines to make it funny.

hence the title of the thread..."The First Draft".

Hi my name is Kamil, and I like intelligent girls...............with really huge boobs.

"Save water, shower with someone uglier than you. Maybe you'll look better by comparison."

"You must be Jamaican, Cause I've heard they usually look like island trailer trash."

"Your legs are like peanut butter, brown and chunky."

"I'd love every bone in your body, if they weren't so hidden beneath those rolls."

"Your legs are like peanut butter, brown and chunky."



:lol2:

"Is someone sitting here? Good, can you get up then so my friend and I can sit down?"

Guy: Wanna go a few rounds at the bar?
Girl: Excuse me?
Guy: I asked if you wanted to go a few rounds at the bar?
Girl: *slap*

*guy walking away rubbing his cheek*- "Apparently she doesn't like shots.... :frown: "


True story^ My friend doesn't know how to hit on women...

Guy: Wanna go a few rounds at the bar?
Girl: Excuse me?
Guy: I asked if you wanted to go a few rounds at the bar?
Girl: *slap*

*guy walking away rubbing his cheek*- "Apparently she doesn't like shots.... :frown: "


True story^ My friend doesn't know how to hit on women...

I'm guessing that was Matty. :biggrin:

hahaha, no.... good guess though... :lol: