Ummmmm....

B-Day Sex

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."
His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." Adam decided to to his friend's advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," Adam replied.

"Did she like it?"

"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"
:icon16:




Man Catches Crocodile

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
:uhoh:





Lightbulbs vs Pregnant Women

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
:sly:

Lightbulbs vs Pregnant Women

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
:sly:

:lol: :rofl: :lol:

Those were ummmmm......:banhim:

no not really but htose were messed up.