Guess what's inside!!

Eye Exam

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

:disappoin


S & M

One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
:crying:



The Magician and the Parrot

There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good.
He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ''It's in his sleeve!''

The magician chased the bird away.

The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ''It's in his pocket!''

The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.

The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.

They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ''I give up, what'd you do with the ship?''
:banghead:




Misguided

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles.
''We're lost!'' One of the hikers complained.

''And you said you were the best guide in the United States.''

''I am,'' the guide answered, '' but I think we may have wandered into Canada.''
:headshake




String Theory

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
:icon16:

I like the second one. Third one I've heard.

oh geeze....













:tongue:

And I was hoping for porn...:(

parrot one for the win!

Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."[/B][/COLOR]


:lol2:

Haha, I love it :D

:banhim:






:tongue:

:lol2::rofl:

you were doing SO GOOD until the last one...

The first three - supoib :thumbsup:

Hey ....I liked the last one

First one :thumbsup:

hahahaha... thanks... needed that this morning

Thanks for another opportunity to post whore.



:icon16:






jokes weren't bad ... THIS time. :)

nice ones
best one was the parrot one

Post whoring is fun!

haha man crackster i love the gif in your sig

haha man crackster i love the gif in your sig

hey thanks

parrot one's kinda old...



and to think I thought tonio would have stopped this while I was gone...

parrot one's kinda old...



and to think I thought tonio would have stopped this while I was gone...
You should know me better than that by now!! :grinno: :icon16:

parrot one for the win!

Agreed :grinno:

Thanks for another opportunity to post whore.



:icon16:






jokes weren't bad ... THIS time. :)


:iagree:

I liked the parrot one the best.