Couple of jokes...

Dunno whether they are reposts but...

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 kph over),
I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me,
"What's the hurry?" I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I responded,
"I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop said "What's.....a rectum stretcher,
and what does a rectum stretcher do?" I said,
"Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers,
then three, then four, then my whole hand,
then I work until I can get both hands in there
and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."
The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot a*shole?"
I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a
bridge.."

The ticket -- $95 dollars.
The look on his face, PRICELESS
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A married couple are driving down the highway heading towards a cottage for the weekend, when all of a sudden the wife turns to her husband who is driving, and tells him, 'I've been sleeping with your best friend and I want a divorce.'
This angers the husband very much, and he starts to speed.
After a minute or so, she once again starts to speak, 'I'm taking the house, the kids, and the credit cards.'
Angrier than ever, the hubby drives even faster.
Wondering why her husband hasn't said anything in response to any of this, she asks him, 'Isn't there anything YOU want?'
In turn he replies, 'I have everything I need.'
So she asks, 'And what is that?'
And just before he veers off the highway about to slam directly into a cement wall, he replies,
'An air bag.'
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It took time, but Len eventually developed an attachment for his mother-in-law. It fitted over her mouth.
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Those last two are awesome, I've heard the first one before though. Good job!

an airbag, :lol:

GMC says they back their products, but i have a GMC built transmission that was had a gaurentee of 3 years or 60000 kms. their new warrenty is for 90000 kms.

i have just over 20000 kms on my trans and it kicked it. i maintain it as i should, and drive it in normal expected conditions.

i have contacted my local GMC dealer and they told me that they would not stand behind their work or their warrenty.

I recommend to all not to buy GMC products of any kind, they will leave you high and dry, with an empty wallet.

ps - No one told me GMC stood for Gimmie More Cash

why the f*ck are you posting that here?

Check his post record, this is all hes posted, EVERYWHERE!

I've never said it before but,

:banhim: :banhim: :grinyes:

:lol:

Fuckin great!

The airbag one is great :lol2:

:lol2:

The last 2 were funny and I loved the point of them. :lol:

GMC says they back their products, but i have a GMC built transmission that was had a gaurentee of 3 years or 60000 kms. their new warrenty is for 90000 kms.

i have just over 20000 kms on my trans and it kicked it. i maintain it as i should, and drive it in normal expected conditions.

i have contacted my local GMC dealer and they told me that they would not stand behind their work or their warrenty.

I recommend to all not to buy GMC products of any kind, they will leave you high and dry, with an empty wallet.

ps - No one told me GMC stood for Gimmie More Cash

You my friend, aer a tool.



(Pis postf one!)

The last two were great, heard the first one on here before.

Junno, your alittle harsh...

Junno, your alittle harsh...

wtf? :screwy:

a mysatilac clone???

Junno, your alittle harsh...

Dude, you sound like a bit of a poof to em,me.



(ok, semms like when ever I post, I have been drinkning.s..)

How many pharmacists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(If you a RPH you wil understand or any other medical person)
Only 1 but it has to be done TID *10D.