One liners

1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17.Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

haha some of those are very good but the majority are kinda corny

Originally posted by AEstud
haha some of those are very good but the majority are kinda corny
Tell me about it :rolleyes:

What about:

1. One can short of a six pack.
2. The lights are on the doors are open but, theres nobody home.
3. Fornication, the thinking mans television.

The Panda made me do it.

Originally posted by YogsVR4
1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17.Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

OMG those are so freaking hilarious!!! I needed the 29 laughs!! Great stuff!! corny as heck but so freaking funny!!!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Oh dear....yogs is back :bloated: :bloated: ,,lol

J/K....

Good to see ya back dude :)

haha some of those are really good.

but I agree many are corny, but they are still clever!

Originally posted by YogsVR4
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat. Not bad Yogs. Keep 'em rolling.

beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!