what is a good marriage?

I am fortunate enough to have been married for a few years(no smart remarks please guys,this is a serious thread for a change),and although it hasn't all been champagne and roses,I would have to say that I am part of a good marriage.Some people can have a good marriage without children,some people can have a good marriage without money,some can have a good marriage even though they rarely see each other....

So what is it that makes a marriage good,and what elements must a marriage have to survive?

Well, I am about to find out. I am counting on the fact that Theresa and I are best friends to help get us through any rough times ahead. We do share a lot of common intrests as well as some that we do not. Between the same things we like (cars, horseback riding, reading material) we'll always have something we can do together. And the things we dont have in common - her ability to speak five languages, my fascination with numbers and some differing hobbies, we'll have something new to do and learn from each other.

I think the ideals of a good marriage are basically a mutual ability (even a willingness) to compromise. A foundation above all else of trust (through which love is founded - I believe love is founded in attraction, and then secondly trust, along with some additional mysterious elements that cannot be verbalized) must remain strong, as it is intrinsic to a functional (good) marriage. I believe that these are the key elements (compromise, love, and trust) to a good marriage, and in fact any healthy intimate relationship.

It's actually really hard to put into words exactly what makes a good marriage, but to me a good marriage is based on trust and love. Without those two basics you've got nothing. :)

I have always felt that relationships mainly start with some sort of physical or mental attraction then progress from there as the love grows. You find a compromise on the things that you don't share & enjoy the things you do.
The whole thing grows as you become more in tune with each other.
At the end of the day if you love each other that will get you through the ups & downs of life.

The Panda speaks Silliephosically

And life is not a box of chocalates as the Panda would have eaten it.:p :p :p

I think marriage is about trust, commitment, mutual understanding, spontaneousness, and of course the biggest thing....love. Im sure theirs others, but those are the biggest to me. Common Interests are important too, along with things you both disagree with.

....and one more thing: loyalty. There's not enough loyalty around nowadays, which is really sad. It's about sticking things out even if it doesn't feel so good; you make a committment, and you stand by it, and the person you committed to. And if you do that, I believe things can and will work out ok - even if it takes a while.

No offence to anyone here.

Love is an illusion propogated by the instinctual need to procreate.

hey, it's all chemicals, but we might as well enjoy it :D

Originally posted by darkness
No offence to anyone here.

Love is an illusion propogated by the instinctual need to procreate. Hmmm... that seems to be my conclusion as well, most of the time :D As Al Pacino said about love in The Devil's Advocate "over-rated - chemically speaking, equivalent to eating large quantities of chocolate."*

*Please note that I have not seen this movie for quite some time, and this quote is not verbatum.

As a good friend of mine says:

Guys should live together, and use women for sex.

It would make the world a much better place.

Originally posted by darkness
As a good friend of mine says:

Guys should live together, and use women for sex.

It would make the world a much better place. Excuse me!! :mad: I hate to break it to you, but we’re not just on this planet to provide you with entertainment! :mad:

The definition of WIFE

W= Washing
I = Ironing
F = Food (cooking)
E = Entertainment

This is ment for information purposes only.

The Panda made me do it. :p :p :p :p

All right, this thread needs to have the intensity turned down a notch. Remember, this is Philosophizing, not OT. The offensive crap needs to stop. Hate to be the dick, but somebody needs to. Let's stay on-topic, and if you've got harsh responses, back them up. Thanks in advance.

I also think another key to a successful marriage is having the ability to accept each other as they are knowing that you both have faults and not trying to change them. :)

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Excuse me!! :mad: I hate to break it to you, but we’re not just on this planet to provide you with entertainment! :mad:

not really what I meant, sorry.

Originally posted by darkness


not really what I meant, sorry. Didn’t think it sounded like you. Wondered where it came from. :)

I don't believe in marriage, perhaps if you are about 30ish then you can settle down, but when you are in your 20's and teens YOU MUST LIVE!!!!!!

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
I don't believe in marriage, perhaps if you are about 30ish then you can settle down, but when you are in your 20's and teens YOU MUST LIVE!!!!!!

Sorry,but I have been single,and I have been married,and for what it's worth,I prefer being married.Until you have lived with someone for a year or so,I don't think that you can claim to have a relationship.....casual sex is fun,granted,but it can also have a degree of stress included.And afterwards you are left with very little.I don't think I'd ever want to do the 'dating' thing again,the output received is quite frankly not worth the effort put in.Much as Iwail and moan about my marriage in the lighter forums,there have been many difficult times in my life that have been made much easier by having somebody who cares helping to balance the load.If the choice was a great family or great sex,the family would win every time.

Originally posted by taranaki
casual sex is fun,granted,but it can also have a degree of stress included.

True, Casual most of the time is absolute shit. It's not worth it, you don't get what you want out of it. and if you think you do, you are lying to yourself.

the output received is quite frankly not worth the effort put in.

And thats another true fact.

a good marriage is if you are both happy to me ..
mentally happy and physically satisfied..
but some are more of one than another..
if you are both happy with eachother and in love that is all is has to be..

Nobody mentioned Communications. You must keep talking.
I dont know what love is. I didn't grow up with it.
But I wouldn't hesitat to marry the same woman I'm married to now.
The only thing that ever went wrong in our marriage was because we didn't talk about it before it happened. :(

Pandamonium said "I have always felt that relationships mainly start with some sort of physical or mental attraction then progress from there"

Sure enough. Men are always attracted to women. And it's usually physical too. But it's only the starting point.:bloated:

Way back in our pre-historic history, we probably did live sorta seperate lives. The women living with the Children and the men visiting occasionally.

Can you imagine a young boy, about 12, wanting to be with the Men?The Men who's job was to provide meat and protection, would just as soon eat the young kid as have to teach him all that was needed to be a Warrior!

And how about some Gal like Rosie O'donnel wanting to be with the men. They'd have some special training for her!

Originally posted by Thudpucker
Nobody mentioned Communications. You must keep talking.


Thank you for hitting the six-inch nail squarely on the head.