The 'My co-worker is an ignorant jackass' thread

This thread is for anyone with a story to tell of a dumbass or ignorant co-worker, friend or just person you know that talks like he or she knows about cars but really doesn't.

One guy I work with drives an old Volvo and slings mad BS whenever his volvo or cars in general get brought up. First he states that he has a "Vortec Stage 4 turbo upgrade" for his volvo. I automatically laugh at him and ask what a 'stage 4 turbo upgrade' constitutes. He basically says "well its different from the stage 1 that has just the turbo, the stage 4 has more parts and stuff".... Thats about all he could tell me. I walk away and then he comes back up to me and tries to tell me that he was just trying to mess with the other guy we work with and that he knows vortec mainly covers superchargers...

Ok well I just tell him he shouldn't mess with me and Steve (other guy I work with) because we know what we're talking about when it comes to cars and he comes back with "Yah man I'm sure need for speed has taught you how to tune cars, or maybe you read an issue of motor trend, have you even ever put a supercharger in a mustang?" (keep in mind he has no idea on how to work on a car, he brought a magazine up to me one day saying he was going to upgrade his exhaust, showed me what was just a muffler attatchment and told me he would be expecting 25+hp from an 'upgrade' like that)

I just go from dosile to livid when he spouts that line. This guy is a complete prick and by assuming I've obtained my knowledge on cars from innacurate video games and short magazine articles he raises my body temperature causing my blood to boil.
Then theres the fact that he's told stories from "My friend was going to get a skyline imported with etc etc etc but just settled for a free srt-4" to "My dad is going to buy me a dodge viper next month" which just heightened the extent of my massive rage towards this poser of the automotive world.
I calm down quickly and tell him he's a jackass. I walk away, giving him my last ounce of pity because even the managers are trying to fire this guy, its sad.


On a side note my friend Steve at work said that he can get a chip that adds up 80+ hp to the VW GTI he just got and I was wondering if the chip was actually capable of adding anywhere near that much. I know the chip does a lot on those little 1.8t's but I've never heard of such a gain from so little before, I'm hoping he was misinformed.


I know you guys have had similar experiences, lets hear them all.

Oh if only Burntrice were here. He could write a book on the whole matter.

I miss him :(.

RIP Burntrice/DetroitMuscle
he went down in flames of ownage

RIP Burntrice/DetroitMuscle
he went down in flames of ownage
me>burntrice

Havent been able to find his new name yet..

me>burntrice

Havent been able to find his new name yet..

civracer95

civracer95

I'm sorry, but I'm just much better looking. Plus Kris and I have met. So there's no chance.

most of the people that my friends and i suspect of bs tend to get their shit right. :dunno

most of the people that my friends and i suspect of bs tend to get their shit right. :dunno

well not this guy. You should know that morpheus

civracer95
Dont mess with Civ man. take a look at his sig!
I came all the way back from the future only to get totally pwned!

Pearl I totally feel ya. I gotta talk to idiot refs all day who throw BS stories my way all he time. Its gotten to the point that I invited them over to the track to humilliate thier ass and get it on tape.
Tell your co-worker to join AF so we can make fum of his stupid ass.
Is his Volvo a Diesel Turbo by any chance???

oh and Burntrice lives.....he was an addict, he just wouldnt quit. hes here somewhere hidden and waiting, he will be back!

oh and Burntrice lives.....he was an addict, he just wouldnt quit. hes here somewhere hidden and waiting, he will be back!
I hope so, he was wicked funny. What was the final reason for him being banned?

On a side note my friend Steve at work said that he can get a chip that adds up 80+ hp to the VW GTI he just got and I was wondering if the chip was actually capable of adding anywhere near that much. I know the chip does a lot on those little 1.8t's but I've never heard of such a gain from so little before, I'm hoping he was misinformed.


I know you guys have had similar experiences, lets hear them all.

Actually a chip can add a boat load of horse power. I was talking to my friends dad who builds VW race cars and races them. He works at a VW proving grounds so he gets to dick around with software and such.

The VW 1.8 turbo is VERY underrated. Mainly for reliablity issues and because they don't want them to compete with the audis. They have a tune at the proving grounds that bumps up the hp from 180-215 and the torque from 180-240. I couldn't believe what he was saying. Granted you can't get this tune anywhere because it is a custom tune but a nice chip will up the car from 180 to 200hp and 210tq. with just a chip. Add on the basic bolt ons and your looken at some decent hp.

There is no bs in my post all of it is 100% true, i got it straight from his mouth and i am as dumbfouded as you are.

the most annoying kid i know like this keeps telling me i should put a cold air intake on my car and paint my engine parts red... keep in mind my car is dark green. "dude a cold air intake sittin ontop of the engine right there would make your car badass"... yeah good thing cold air intakes dont sit on top of the engine.

Dont mess with Civ man. take a look at his sig!
I came all the way back from the future only to get totally pwned!

Pearl I totally feel ya. I gotta talk to idiot refs all day who throw BS stories my way all he time. Its gotten to the point that I invited them over to the track to humilliate thier ass and get it on tape.
Tell your co-worker to join AF so we can make fum of his stupid ass.
Is his Volvo a Diesel Turbo by any chance???

oh and Burntrice lives.....he was an addict, he just wouldnt quit. hes here somewhere hidden and waiting, he will be back!


Well he basically took me aside and told me he had the "whatever stage turbo kit that came stock with the car...." so I'm guessing its the turbo diesel volvo and when he saw the word turbo on his car he just assumed it was the fastest damn thing ever made.


And Chex thats some good info to have man. I'm thankful it wasn't the 80+hp gains he was speaking of but I'll have to be much more cautious when confronting his gti when he gets it chipped.

I'll give him a run when the boosted car comes in (work on it starts may 7 and they said it should be 2 weeks from when they start) and let you all know how that goes. I'll blow the doors off of that fag with the volvo if he manages to keep his job for that long as well.

Edit - Oh and that kid was talking mad trash on my friend steve about his VW as well, making claims of killing numerous golfs with his volvo but then he was reminded Steve's car is a GTI and got a little timid about his trash talking after we talked him down from his high horse. We'll have to put him in the middle lane to be sure we blow all of his doors off.

By the way guys this will be the new username I'll be using in order to lay rest to the old pearl 3000gt and give praise to what is yet to come.

yeah, I had a freind ( a girl) who got a Turbo Diesel Volvo from her mom. She started reading up on cars and learned what a turbo is and what it does. She got all hyped and excited and thought her shyt was mad fast......forgot to read up on diesel engines! her car only made double digits, something like 83 HP or so. sad really

Well, some of my friends simply refer to my MR2 as a Spyder, even though Mr2 Spyders weren't made until 2000, and Spyder means convertible, but mine is only T-tops. No matter how many times I tell them, they still just refer to my car as the Spyder.

My co-worker is a complete idiot when it comes to cars. It doesn't help that he has small man's disease and thinks he knows every thing there is to know about life at the ripe old age of 25. He and his wife recently purchased a brand new nissan quest SE. They ran into a few problems with it, blown speaker, and something to do with the breaks. Because of that he is conviced nissan is out to shaft him and they make nothing but POS automobiles.

My parents recently aquired an 04 nissan titan LE. Once he heard out about that he started to insult my parents for being such idiots, and how they wasted their money, and basically implied that they should not be aloud to spend that money and he could spend it better for them. Needless to say that got my blood boiling.

This is completely non car related but i work in the same office room as he does and he is constanly playing some of the worst music i have ever heard in my life. It mainly consists of bone thugz n harmony, boys to men, eminem (his new cd wich sux ass), and kid rocks new cd. It drives me nuts i ask him to turn it down once in a while or were head phones but he then takes the offensive and tells me he has the right to play his music at a moderate level and if i don't like it too bad. So there is just no point in it anymore.

This is completely non car related but i work in the same office room as he does and he is constanly playing some of the worst music i have ever heard in my life. It mainly consists of bone thugz n harmony, boys to men, eminem (his new cd wich sux ass), and kid rocks new cd. It drives me nuts i ask him to turn it down once in a while or were head phones but he then takes the offensive and tells me he has the right to play his music at a moderate level and if i don't like it too bad. So there is just no point in it anymore.

is it just me or does that remind you of office space?

My co-worker is a complete idiot when it comes to cars. It doesn't help that he has small man's disease and thinks he knows every thing there is to know about life at the ripe old age of 25. He and his wife recently purchased a brand new nissan quest SE. They ran into a few problems with it, blown speaker, and something to do with the breaks. Because of that he is conviced nissan is out to shaft him and they make nothing but POS automobiles.

My parents recently aquired an 04 nissan titan LE. Once he heard out about that he started to insult my parents for being such idiots, and how they wasted their money, and basically implied that they should not be aloud to spend that money and he could spend it better for them. Needless to say that got my blood boiling.

This is completely non car related but i work in the same office room as he does and he is constanly playing some of the worst music i have ever heard in my life. It mainly consists of bone thugz n harmony, boys to men, eminem (his new cd wich sux ass), and kid rocks new cd. It drives me nuts i ask him to turn it down once in a while or were head phones but he then takes the offensive and tells me he has the right to play his music at a moderate level and if i don't like it too bad. So there is just no point in it anymore.

Wow and Nissans are some of the most reliable japanese cars out there today (Arguably the best in reliability in some cases) and the guy plays shitty music. Some people are just biased tools

To start off, I think that the turbo on the 1.8t is too small for 240 HP.

There are a few people at my work that are ignorant, but I wouldn't call them jackasses, they are just misinformed.

The person is one of my bosses. Not too long ago she bought a new car. It is a 3rd gen Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. She thought it was a fast car until she tried to race someone. I'm not sure of what car she had raced but I recall that it wasn't something I would consider quick. Anyhow, she lost and was very surprised. She said that she thought it would keep up with another lady that works here. This other lady drives a Corvette C5.

Person number two drives a Honda Civic Si. She has done the usual cosmetic crap. Body kit, wheels, 35 profile tires, head lights, tail lights, windshield washer LEDs, and a few stickers thrown in for good measure. I had always wondered what was under the hood since she has the backseat removed and I hear she races at RMR dragway a lot. Anyhow, I finally get to find out what she has under the hood. Neutrino and I were at a crappy little car show in Sandy and here car was there for a local shop called Yakuza Racing which, in my experience, is run by jackasses. Anyhow, to my surprise there wasn't a whole hell of a lot done under there. Most of the work is cosmetic but she has an intake, plugs and wires, pulleys, header, and a catback exhaust that sounds like crap. I am also sure she has it chipped as well. I thought she would have some more serious mods than that to bragging about her car. From what I saw I would venture to guess that she has gained maybe 15 HP from all that work.

Person number three is the most ignorant of the group. He seems to like Mustangs but that isn't what makes him ignorant. What makes him ignorant is the fact that he doesn't know jack shit about cars. He calls anything that doesn't have a V8 rice. He also came over talking to me about the new Mustang Cobra that comes out in 2007. He claims it will do 9s in the 1/4. All this from a car with only 450 HP and 450 ft/lbs torque. He seems to believe everything he reads on the Internet. I've tried explaining that it isn't possible but he doesn't really believe me.

To start off, I think that the turbo on the 1.8t is too small for 240 HP.



Yeah the turbo def wont make 240 hp. With a perfect tune it will make 215hp and 240 ft/lbs of torque, not to the wheels but to the crank. and that was on my friend's 2004 Jetta GLI. I have seen it with my ownt eyes. If your gunna make more then that your going to have to put a diff turbo on there and a front mount intercooler rather then the stock side mount.

But yeah my co-worker drives me NUTS!!!!

I work at a law office, that handles people who didn't have insurance at the time of an accident, as a file clerk, and he works as a paralegal's assistant. His job is to check up on people to make sure they are paying the insurance company what they owe for the accident. If they aren't paying he gets to suspend thier license. You should see the joy this guy gets out of his Power Trips, it drives me nuts. He will go out of his way to find a way to suspend your license. SO DON'T DRIVE WITH OUT INSURANCE IN ARIZONA!!!!!! He will find a way to get you.

I think my workplace is probably the wierdest office enviroment on this planet if you beg to differ i CHALLENGE YOU TO A WIERD WORKPLACE DUEL!!!.