Some jokes that may offend everyone ...
dugie6551
04-29-2005, 10:13 AM
I hope these aren't a :repost: ... but some are funny ....
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time" ...A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit... "
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time" ...A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit... "
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
clawhammer
04-29-2005, 10:58 AM
:lol: Really like the BMW one and the golden retriever one.
CivRacer95
04-29-2005, 11:16 AM
:rofl: My abs are killing me right now :rofl:. I'm going to have to print out this page and bring it to work.
SeXy_AnGeL
04-29-2005, 11:16 AM
some are reposts but still worth a chuckle
drewh4386
04-29-2005, 11:22 AM
Good stuff!!
Jet-Lee
04-29-2005, 11:47 AM
repost
95cord
04-29-2005, 01:03 PM
hahahha :lol2: those are pretty good
KustmAce
04-29-2005, 09:16 PM
Repost, even had the same thread title.
Still worth a larf tho!
Still worth a larf tho!
WickedNYCowboy
04-29-2005, 09:18 PM
some are reposts but still worth a chuckle
Ditto.
Ditto.
Muscletang
04-29-2005, 09:43 PM
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
That is freaking hilarious! It's killing me!
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
That is freaking hilarious! It's killing me!
Ace$nyper
04-29-2005, 09:55 PM
good stuff good stuff old but never old if you get me
D[X]P
04-29-2005, 11:26 PM
hahahahah
jcz1987
04-30-2005, 12:50 AM
LOL HA HA HA!!!!! I like the BMW one considering that.....
jeffseby
04-30-2005, 02:16 AM
I don't want to Hijack your funny thread, but allow me to add a few.
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?......
....Nothing, you already told her twice."
"Why is it hard to make love to a vegetable?....
....The feeding tube gets in the way."
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?......
....Nothing, you already told her twice."
"Why is it hard to make love to a vegetable?....
....The feeding tube gets in the way."
Gotti
05-01-2005, 04:17 PM
LMAO those were funny... i like offensive jokes
slammedscion
05-02-2005, 12:03 AM
Offensive jokes are the best if it doesnt piss people off its not that funny
imtheoneandonlyD
05-02-2005, 01:59 PM
I don't want to Hijack your funny thread, but allow me to add a few.
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?......
....Nothing, you already told her twice."
I love that joke.
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?......
....Nothing, you already told her twice."
I love that joke.
drewh4386
05-02-2005, 02:07 PM
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?......
....Nothing, you already told her twice."
"Why is it hard to make love to a vegetable?....
....The feeding tube gets in the way."
awesome
....Nothing, you already told her twice."
"Why is it hard to make love to a vegetable?....
....The feeding tube gets in the way."
awesome
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