Let's See If I Still Got It

This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls
out a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of
those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your
asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't
have one." A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the
boy asks, "Can I have on of those?"

Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?"
to which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have
one." Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for
food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the
little boy says "I just won $50,000"

Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?"
The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to
touch your asshole?" "Yes," Says grandpa. "Then go fuck
yourself!"
-------------------------------------------------------------

See if you can do this:
Read each line aloud

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat






Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top
Betcha you can't resist passing it on.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Travel Agent's Encounters with Customers


I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that his or her hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to
fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information when she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without
trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained,
"Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her
response...click.

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see
England From Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so
close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour
layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,
he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport and I need a car to
drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible
that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago
at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time
zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she
bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to
who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that
said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After
putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was
actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for
Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know
which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which
he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these darn planes have numbers on them.

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of
those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola
on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I
don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one
of those." I doublechecked and sure enough, his stay required a
visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China
four times and every time they have accepted my American
Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago
to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After
some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am,
I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find
a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be
silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent
scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You
don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

Naw, u lost it man. U've toally lost it... :headshake















:p good job :thumbsup: :rofl:

done and done