Maturity

I was just sitting down by the river a couple nights ago with my g/f, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks...I realized that most stuff I thought was important to me, wasn't really. Sure, I have a major passion for cars and golf, but in the grand scheme of things, cars will never lead me to happiness. It feels weird, but I suddenly and instantly came to feel like an adult at that point; I feel ready to make decisions that are based more on my future happiness than my current happiness. So, when did you guys feel like you reach adult maturity, if you did at all? Did it hit you real quick, or was it a slow transition?

Did it hit you real quick, or was it a slow transition?

It was a little bit of both. On certain things I realized that I didn't need this or that. There were other things though that through experience I matured through it.

I'm still 18 though and am nowhere near close to total maturity yet.

Maturity is all about mindset and attitude. My experience in watching others learn, grow and mature is that it cannot be forced eg. "Stop being so immature" , "Grow up" etc. It is something that happens in it's own time for each individual.

About 19 was when I think I demonstrated adult maturity across the major areas of my life.

Did it hit you real quick, or was it a slow transition?
Don't worry dude, you will forget about that in a day or two. Then it will hit you like a ton of bricks again some other time. Then you'll forget about it again, and so on. It never sticks the first time around. I've had that feeling a zillion times. You just caught a glimpse of reality for a moment. It will happen more and more often until one day you always realize what's important and you will be truly happy and successful. I think it was the love, man. Being in love can make you think about things like that. The future, the things that matter, the things that don't matter even though they're fun.... I don't know how old you are, but if you are under 25 (which I'm pretty sure you are) then all you have to do is keep that in mind, because it will stick one day, but you dont need it to yet. Some people never get that feeling at all, and live their whole life in ignorance. Ignorance may be bliss, but wisdom is utopia. As long as you've gotten that feeling once, I'm sure it'll stick one day, but don't expect to remember it quite yet. Youre a smart guy, so just enjoy your youth and keep that maturity on the backburner for when you really need it.

edit: I had to delete something because for a moment I got dislexic and misinterpereted something, and said something stupid... but anyways, I also forgot to mention something.

I was 17 the first time I had that feeling. I wrote a poem about it. How I would settle for having regular things, if I could just be with the one I love. Until that point all I cared about was having the best of things... 150 dollar shoes, 80 dollar pants, nice cell phone, I was infatuated with having the best of everything. Of course I still work hard to achieve my goals and have nice things but it was a swift kick in the nuts to realize that there are bigger and better things. It hits real quick then goes away until one day it sticks, so its both.

I have had a mature mind since about 16. Thats when a lot of crazy shit started happening with friends getting pregnant, people dying, people going to jail, drugs, etc... and I screwed up and helped out a couple people, then all of my friends kept turning to me for help when they need it. It makes you realize whats important and to get your priorities in order. Im not saying im completely mature at 21 years old but I am able to be mature when I need to be.

Adult maturity isnt about being mature all the time, if you know that you can honestly do whats right no matter what then you are as mature as you need to be.

You said you have a major passion for cars and golf. They will give you happiness. It is going to be rare that you will be completely happy all the time so keep with those hobbies, give everything you can to them if they make you happy. If there is anything I have learned in these screwed up 21 years of life its do whatever makes you happy at the time. Now go outside and rebuild your engine with your putter!

It hit me at a funeral one time. Everything is meaningless. Work, school, material things, they all equal up to jack shit. The only thing that really means anything to me are my friends and family and future wife, the people I truely care about. Probably why I don't stress about school, don't stress about trying to find a job.

Stress for me is a good thing. If I don't have it I only do the things that I think matter. The things that matter to me don't involve making money :lol2:

The thing that really opened my eyes was the day that I found out that I was gonna be a mom. It gave a whole new look on life. The first time I held her, it took the breath out of me. All I could do was stare and think, she is mine, I made her and this angel needs me. She became every thing to me. All that bull shit I use to do means nothing. It is all about her, and my son. Now dont get me wrong, I I still play in the dirt and make mud pies I now have someone to do this with and they dont laugh at me, they laugh with me. I also do adult things, like partying you can not take that away from me. But, I never do it around my kids. I am verry happy with my life.. I find life better now than when I was a kid in many ways.

ya, i feel at 19 i was first starting to feel mature with my own job/apartment/car etc. i valued my job more than any of my other friends. i still feel slightly immature when it comes to my car. thrasher-u said ur car wont make u happy in the long run, but it will make me happy.thats the only thing i get like a kid about now. i invested 6700 after my mechanic totalled my fd3s and thought i was sooooo responsible and planning for my future and a house, but now a year later im taking that money out to pimp my ride! rick ur right, it goes in and out.i still feel mature living alone(parents live in fla)driving brand new vehicles better then most parents, have a good income, keep in touch with all my family, and no major debts.i also have a pimp ass house with everything i ever wanted when i was younger(great job, big screen tv, slate pool table, arcade game, home theater system, 2 bars, etc......most importantly respect from many people. my boss is a multimillionaire and thinks im the most mature person for my age he knows.

I have my moments....A lot of times I can be as mature, if not more mature than a 40 year old, but at times I'm just stupid and fuck up...I don't think I want to be totally mature, I enjoy being a kid sometimes

It won't REALLY hit untill you see your first childs face the first time. Your entire life melts away and the only thing that matters is your child.

I matured when i found myself in Basic Training

It never stops.













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I didnt start to mature until 2yrs ago. I had to choose between the women i loved and my drugs and alcohol. I choose her and i havent touched drugs since. I do drink still just not every day. I also started to relize then what it thought mattered really didnt.

Maturity has been slowly working on me the last few years, but my "epiphany" was really about a year ago. I had a "paradigm shift". I changed how I viewed myself. My whole life, I had super low self-confidence, and viewed myself in a completely different aspect then I do now, and totally had no idea who the hell I was. It would take a long time to explain everything, so I won't. But nowadays, I'm confident as hell, trust myself, love myself for who I am, believe in what I can accomplish, and am proactive as fuck. I love who I am, and continuously try to help other people make the same epiphany. Ever since I learned to start believing in myself, and stopped comparing myself against others in stupid, shallow, materialistic aspects, I have had a dramatic turn-around. It feels great. I just don't give a shit about materialistic things nearly to the extent that I use to. And when you learn to just not give a damn, you're able to use the energy you spent on meaningless shit and apply it to great things.

Ya wanna know the really funny thing about "maturity?" That realization that the things you thought were important really arent, will suddenly seem meaningless when your 40 going on 50, putting your last kid through college and desperatly counting down the days until retirement so that you can buy cool cars, get an hot new trophy wife/G.F., and play golf all day, knowing thats what makes you happy.

^ ^ AMEN to that! :)

I don't think I'll ever be mature all the time. Sure I'm serious and dedicated when it comes to important things like school and work. Every other time I act like a child who only wants to have a good time and make others happy. I don't care if I never grow out of my inner child because I always want it to be around.

I stopped doing really stupid crap after I broke my arm and had a $30000 surgery. I do only semi-stupid things now. I am still a child (a month short of 16), but feel like I am more mature than people my age. I don't think I am mature right now but I think for most people it is after having a child (results may vary depending on your application).

Maturity is a sliding scale - you may be more mature than your peers, but are unlikely to be as mature as your parents. That is because maturity is both your experience and how you apply it.

Maturity is a sliding scale - you may be more mature than your peers, but are unlikely to be as mature as your parents. That is because maturity is both your experience and how you apply it.

Nice post. That made since. Something that i can apply to my growing maturity

im a 20 yr old child i have my mature moments when i choose to. but over all im still young and i like it. ill start letting my mature side take over in a few years right now im holding it back cause im in no rush to act like a 40 yr old

I'm old enough to know better but I'm still too young to care.

Yeah, I feel like I'm at the point where not caring is no longer an option. My sense of responsibility almost always wins now, and I tend not to make decisions unless I've carefully considered the consequences and what I need to do, not what I want to do. Desire still wins out sometimes, but less and less it seems these days, unless I have already done what needs to be done. Damn getting older. Makes me wish I was still a kid sometimes...

I was sitting at a party, half drunk. And that's when i realized, "what am i doing here, i dont know anyone, i dont care about any of these people, why am i wasting my life at this place?" Then i realized that i need to straighten up, and get my act together, and most importantly get my grades up so i could graduate THIS semester. That was last December, i've only partied maybe once or twice since then, and i haven't gotten drunk. I realized that there's more important things to life than partying all the time or getting your dream car, or other useless crap we like in college. I feel like these last 4 or 5 months i've matured into the kind of man i'm going to be from now on. Sure there's times to party like this weekend since i'm graduating, but the people i care about are what's important to me, and soon someday i'll be ready to start a family and continue to grow as a man. I think i'm becoming the kind of man i can be proud of, i'll never be as good a person or as mature as my father, but i'm gonna try the best i can to make everyone around me happy. I learned that life isn't about you, it's about taking care of those who love you.

but i'm gonna try the best i can to make everyone around me happy. I learned that life isn't about you, it's about taking care of those who love you. THat what are parents are doing (hopefully) for us everyday. Think of all the money they could have spent on themselves if they didn't have childern to take care of. Hopefully we can get that picture and pass it on before its a wasted generation.

Like Oz stated!!!

You are only as young as she feels. figure it out.

i don't think maturity is about how you think or how you think.
ok, granted some of these things are related to perception of maturity are based on these things but i think, maturity is knowing when something is appropriate and when something is not.

the things you like, be it golf, cars, martial arts, art, cooking, anything; don't make you mature or immature.
they are just things you like.
they say something about you but they don't define you as a person.

i don't think maturity is about how you think or how you think.
ok, granted some of these things are related to perception of maturity are based on these things but i think, maturity is knowing when something is appropriate and when something is not.



Drunkenmonkey and Oz hit the key topics regarding maturity. Becoming a parent gets an hnourable mention, only since 16 year-old having a child does not neccesarily guarantee an epiphany. Mind you, I'm not a parent, and can't tell you what it's like.

The dictionary describes mature as the state of full growth or development, and no longer subject to great expansion or development. Most people here have described maturity as a journey or experience.

I feel maturity is the application of experience and judegement to appropriately manage responsibility. While it's a bit of a dull term, everything that has helped me mature precipitated from this idea.

I found University accelerated maturity, I was away form home and forced to govern myself. I caught on quickly, and learned how to act as an adult, which I was at that point. Many people say I'm mature for my age, and I'm convinced its because of the way I conduct myself. I do indulge in things that could be considered immature, but who dosen't? This dosen't make you immature, it just means you're normal.

Maturity can come in any number of forms, but most people tend to notice if you speak like an adult, treat others like adults and think like an adult. It often means exercising a somewhat diverse vocabulary, being educated beyond high school (not that I haven't met mature high school students) and acting in a manner that demonstrates one's handle on responsibility.

Those people who listed what was important to them as qualities of maturity, I can't say I agree. This is just what matters to you in life, how you choose to manage those priorities is maturity, or lack thereof.

Yogs said it too, maturity never stops, but usually by late teen's you should have an idea as to who you are, what matters to you and where you want to go. Once you've discovered these things, you're already halfway down the road to maturity.

Side note; Does anybody else have a tough time trying relate to friends & family at different maturity levels? I find that mostly between friends, I'll sometimes need to 'dumb myself down' for lack of a better term to maintain a friendship. It's just hassle at times when you want to say something, but can't because you know they won't agree/understand since you're differing maturity levels?

When became a father. I still want to do the same stupid things I did when I was kid but I have a family to take care of. I moderate my behaviour to within acceptable standards. I know what means most to me at the end of the day.

many posts have mentioned coming to the realization of what is truely important in life. if you think about it, the importance of anything can be derived if you answer for yourself one question: is there an afterlife? do we continue to exist, or is this life it? if so, and we continue to exist for eternity, then your car(s), house, bank account, stocks, resume, collections, cloths, are all futile. they have no permanence, and you are participating in the rat race that our culture (US) promotes as so vital to a successful and happy life.

so what then is important? the relationships that you have and the impact that you have on others. these things will have a lasting impact beyond this lifetime.

if this is it, then who cares, get all the "stuff" you can, climb the corporate ladder as far as you can, and after a lifetime of this, see how empty you feel...

i would be an absolute hypocrite if i claimed that i don't enjoy and partake in these material possessions, and there is nothing wrong with that, but just what and how much are we willing to sacrafice to achieve these things?

TECHNICALLY emotional relationships, feelings, and experiances are all material things as well since they are all stored electrical impulses in the brain. Assuming you move on to a new plane of existence when you die, one could easily argue that its hard to belive that you can take your memories with you, but not your 1974 Corvette Stingray.

TECHNICALLY emotional relationships, feelings, and experiances are all material things as well since they are all stored electrical impulses in the brain. Assuming you move on to a new plane of existence when you die, one could easily argue that its hard to belive that you can take your memories with you, but not your 1974 Corvette Stingray.

These are intangibles, they are not material things. You cannot grab them and put them in your pocket. I believe that it can be argued that memories could be taken with you, because what you perceive as "yourself" is nothing but a series of past experiences (memories).

Existence on a new plane would be irrelevant if you have no memories, because you would have no sense of self, i.e. no you, and the new existence would be experienced by a different being or person. If this is the case, discussion becomes meaningless.

People free from severe mental illness recognize themselves as being the same "person" throughout their lives, although, TECHNICALLY, the atoms that make up the cells of the human body have changed many times over, so their physical being is not the "same". There is something which is nonmaterial that the mind defines and recognizes as ones "self".

Therefore, if "you" progress into existence beyond this life, logic determines that memories (those intangible life experiences) must be present in this new existence, or "you" would not be experiencing it...

Your belief that thoughts and memories are intangible is just that. A belief, and unfortunatly a wrong one. Memories are electrical impulses our brain stores through neural pathways. You CAN grab them, and you CAN put them in your pocket. All you need is a sharp knife and someone's brain. If they were intangible then physical harm to ones body should not result in memory loss.