How many children could you beat up?

*If you don't have a sense of humor, don't bother checking out the link*

Very comical article about how many children the author thinks he could take on at once and a breakdown profiling each of his opponents.

http://thedecadentwest.blogspot.com/2005/04/dw-vs-five-year-olds-bring-it-on.html

I think 20 is my magic number.

Rofl....ahahahahahahaha........omg.......cant..... breathe......:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

This makes it even funnier...A 45 page discussion on the matter http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1556673&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=9&o=14&fpart=45&vc=1

LMAO :rofl: :lol2:


If the battleground is the size of a basketball pitch i reckon i could take 30.

Don't even need the link. At least 15 at once.

I could probably take half of the little "carpet crawlers". Although, if they are all crying and screaming ... I could wipe the whole lot of of them out !!! I hate screaming kids !!

Is it just me or does this remind you of that Seinfeld where Kramer took karate and beat up all those little kids?

Give me any number. I'll pull a Matrix. Grab one and continue to swing them around. No weapons can be brought in, but it doesn;t mean you can't use the twerps as weapons! :evillol:

First to weaken them and break their spirits, tell them there is no Santa, Easter Bunny and by then most of them will be crying when that starts move in for the kill. I'd say 25 at the most.

OMFG I actually just came away form this exact conversation at lunch.


Me and some friends were discussing this exact topic (we'd actually been thinking about a fe wmonths before) You guys need to think more realistically, we are estimating at around a couple hundred.

Mind you, there were no rules for our bouts, merely how many children (age 5) could you render unconcious or unable to continue before you could no longer move. Remember these kids are 40 lbs, and can be used as projectiles or weapons, whatever, anything goes.

I'm saying like 238.

^That's why i said give me any number. Fill up the freakin; basketball court!!! :lol:

all you would need to do is run and knee them. Little kids cant run that fast and your legs are the big advantage. They are strong, fast, and tough. If you just run around kneeing and kicking them, keeping a fast enough pace to make them is a constant state of pursuit, you should beat as many as you can keep your stamina up for. One thing you cant underestimate is little kids energy. I have some younger cousings about 4-6 years of age, and when they get going, you cant stop them. They could run in a circle for 5 hours straight.

rofl :icon16:

all you would need to do is run and knee them. Little kids cant run that fast and your legs are the big advantage. They are strong, fast, and tough. If you just run around kneeing and kicking them, keeping a fast enough pace to make them is a constant state of pursuit, you should beat as many as you can keep your stamina up for. One thing you cant underestimate is little kids energy. I have some younger cousings about 4-6 years of age, and when they get going, you cant stop them. They could run in a circle for 5 hours straight.

Yeah but moving 45 lbs dosen't take much energy, sure these kids are basically elastic at this age, they just aren't effective.

I figure with a decent level of stamina, fatigue is still your only limiting factor. Have you ever fought a kid before, it's not hard.

Do they get hopped on on 10-12 pixie sticks beforehand or not? I say unsugared 5 years old, i could take like 132. But if they drug them with pixie sticks and soda, i fear that i'll only be able to take down proably 50.

All of em.

Do they get hopped on on 10-12 pixie sticks beforehand or not? I say unsugared 5 years old, i could take like 132. But if they drug them with pixie sticks and soda, i fear that i'll only be able to take down proably 50.

Good point. Im a pretty good fighter but I might get a little worn out after using the 30th kid as a bat. I think the most effective way to destroy a room full of 5 year olds is try to just use 1 punch for 1 kid, it shouldnt take more than that to knock one of those bastards out. That being said I usually spend at least 20 minutes a day in the garage on a punching bag, if I pace myself and throw one punch every 3 seconds thats 400 kids in 20 minutes. I fear that after about 20 minutes of constant kid beating I will probably be pretty exhausted and then I will be taken down pretty easily. So I would have to say around 350-400 kids unsugared, sugared... only 3


That being said, I think this is the greatest idea ever!

it should be a sport.

I've also thought about this when I've been around little children. Now if they were 8 year olds you might have some serious trouble, but 5 year olds are no sweat (trust me I've WHOOPED on some 5 year olds :grinno: ).

Considering all of the kids had the cahones (sp?) to attack you. I imagine the biting, and ball punching could put a man down.

My reach, and height would be my biggest advantage. I imagine I could take 50 kids if I was lucky. You wouldn't even have to use all of your energy to knock them out in the face, or better yet kick them in the face. Actually I think I could honestly take 100 5 year olds with some kicking to the face.

If 20 kids all ran at you at the same time however I think I would be toast in not time considering more would keep coming.

This thread is hilarious.

I just woke up from a nap and this is the first thing I read..... :lol2:
Too damn funny!!:rofl:

thats some funny stuff............

maybe a new olympic sport?

"He found Mrs. Sands' Kindergarten class at Malibu Elementary School, the mean ragtag group of motherfuckers "

LMAO :lol:

You guys are pretty cocky. I feel I could cut a swath through an disorganized group of children, however if they were to attack me unified and without holding back, their collective weight might get me to the floor. If they were to manage that it would be game over. This is likely if Brent were in the group, as he would lead a unified assault. A realistic estimate for me is 20-30.