It's been awhile...

The Z has been down for... almost 2 months now. But this next week it should be going in for repairs to the fried electrical. So, expect pictures and stories to follow.



But, I got me a race the other night. Yes sir I did.

My weapon of choice for this race is a very modified 1995 Ford Econoline E250 XL.

Specs Run down:

4.9L Inline 6 EFI
150hp @ 3200rpm
260tq @ 2000rpm

0-60 in about 3 to 5 minutes
1/4 mile in nearly an hour
Top Speed ... WHAT TOP SPEED?!

35 gallon tank
13/14 mpg (city/hwy)

Oh yes, you fuckers are scared aren't you? YES YOU ARE!!!!

It is a handling beast with a wheel base of 138 inches, 5300lb curb weight... and 16 inch STEEL WHEELS! Fuck yeah, YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS!

Current Mods: Weight reduction with the slightly rusted out floor in the back. Custom Bondo job I did on the right fender cause other employee hit a parked car... and most important of all... the will to kick ass and take names. SHIT YES!


So, I was flying down the road at a blistering 30mph... you know near Warp speed. And as I'm heading home, I start the down hill decent towards the Long Beach traffic circle. My playground, where I show off to the world the handling prowness of my Van. People get scared when they see me flying through the traffic circle.

Is it cause it's 5000+lbs of steel healing over due to excessive body roll? Is it that I'm going through there 5-10mph faster than the rest of the traffic? Or is it that I'm pointing to them and giving them the look of death... you know, making the motion that you're going to kill them by moving your finger across your own throat. Yeah, that always gets the ladies moist.

YEAH, so now I'm coming down the hill and I notice a Honda Civic Hatchback from the early 90s. I saw him and thought he must be an Initial D freak. Cause I'm an Initial D freak, cause only Initial D freaks drive the traffic circle. Cause it's the TOUGE ASSHOLE! YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS!

He's waiting to merge into traffic, I carefully plow my way through traffic he pulls out... I enter the traffic circle.... I mean, TOUGE ASSHOLE! and plant my foot into the accelerator. Mr. Honda see's me flying towards him and decides to gun his Initial D car and try to lose me in the TOUGE!!!

I give it more gas and let the body roll of the van set the suspension up nice and firm on the passenger side as I draft him for about .4 seconds. Then go for the pass...

I let the van drift, no not tail out.. but rather float cause it can't turn any harder... to the outside of the Honda and using my superior driving skills of stupidly large motorvehicles I start my agonising pass of my Battle opponent!

AH HA, I PASSED HIM... He trys to keep with me as his passenger stares in disbelief that they got passed by a monstrosity known as the ECONOLINE!

We now shift to making right hand kink, we're done with the traffic circle... and get onto the straight street... I managed to keep my lead by half a Van length... a very long Van length to the next light which happened to be red.

Sitting at the light... I check all my guages. Cause it's a performance machine YEAHHHHHH! All systems are go. Adjust my radio... Sammy Hagar on the friggin Radio!! "I can't drive... 55!!!" which is so true with this machine I drive.

My battle opponent decides to turn off and not battle anymore... Good choice on his part. I might of had to turn off the Overdrive and go to Ludacrous SPEED!... Hell, maybe even Plaid.

It was a great battle, something worthy of it's on Prime Time TV show on Speed Channel....





P.S. YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS! Don't you forget that!!



Cliff notes: I drove the traffic circle like any other asshole would and passed a slower car... nothing special... Don't be a tool and believe that my Van is actually fast.

Ricer.

:lol:

Hey someone on the forum drives a slower car then me. Yes!! :) :evillol: :evillol: :screwy:

And if all else fails you could just roll over on top of him. Oh, and if your going to drop it out of overdrive and go to ludicrous speed be sure to keep your hand on the brake. :iceslolan

Dude...I so could not handle that. Even though I am....EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEME !!!!1111!1111111!!!!1!!11111!!!!oneoneoneshiftoneo neshift1

Man what a hp powerhouse...I've seen those econolines beat Vettes and M3s...but yeah back to reality, way to show the punk how its done, his friends will never let him live it down, now if only you were like 85 years old

see i knew that red was a ricer.. hes finally showing his colors..

1

It would have been cooler if you had a troop of cub scouts while you were doing it...

It's a cargo van... completely empty inside... makes for less weight... makes for faster times.

YEAHH BOOOIIII!!!

I'm calling bullshit on this one. I must see pictures, dynos and time slips immediately. :lol:

Shit son, i got an Accord with your econoline's name on it bro... Think that box on wheels can step up to the big dawgs!? I dont think so biotch!!! I challenge you foo.... Bring your econo shit to the midwest and i'll show you how we roll!

It's a cargo van... completely empty inside... makes for less weight... makes for faster times.

YEAHH BOOOIIII!!!

I call bullshits.

Prove me wrong sir, PROVE ME WRONG. http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/disappointed.gif

























http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/screwy.gif

FINE THEN ASSHAIR... You and your HondUH best be ready... cause I'm gonna go Banzai on your asshole with my econoline MOFO!

I'll show you how the west was won... with FORD POWER!

You do know we have an offtopic forum, right guys? :icon16: :lol:

Ya'll want PICKS... and DYNOS!

HERE YA GO!
http://files.automotiveforums.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=/500/33812screwyou-med.jpg
http://files.automotiveforums.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=/500/33812dynojoke-med.jpg
http://files.automotiveforums.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=/500/33812van.JPG

BOOYAH, that's how we do it. YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS!!!





:lol2:

Very weak rip off of Civracer. :(

Very weak rip off of Civracer. :(

You have no idea how long Matt's been doing his MAD-TYTE graphics. Long before you, or Civ joined, so STFU.

A weak rip off of CivRacer? How so?

He's not the only one who can use MS paint you know.

funniest thing i ever heard of

Ya'll want PICKS... and DYNOS!

HERE YA GO!
http://files.automotiveforums.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=/500/33812screwyou-med.jpg
http://files.automotiveforums.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=/500/33812dynojoke-med.jpg
http://files.automotiveforums.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=/500/33812van.JPG

BOOYAH, that's how we do it. YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS!!!





:lol2:


BS, you clearly changed the numbers on dyno sheets!!!

:uhoh:












:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

While I have so many experianced racer and Mr. ReadNeck383 on line, I have a serious problem and need some help. I have a 3 cylinder Yogo with a automatic and love to race it. Here's my problem.
On the 3 beeps when I start to race I put it in "L" for leap. Everything is fine and I almost catch what I'm racing.
Then I put it in "D" for drag and I start to close the gap, keeping a close eye on the tach as I want to shift in my power band while I'm gainning on my mark. About to pee my pants as the speed is in the high 45MPH range by now, I prepear for my next shift, and thats when it happens.
I shift to "R" for race and all hell breaks loose. A big bang, a crunch, lots of sparks, the smell of transmission fluid, tires smoking, you name it, it does it.
Do any of you know of a transmission I can put in my Yugo that can handle the power and torque my engine has?
It has a racing fan belt.
Running octaine booster
Only use 1 qts. oil in engine to save weight
Racing muffler clamps
M&H drag slicks
Isky racing cams sticker
NOS sticker

I really need help.

LMAO OH MY GAWD....you are the funniest man alive, holy crap, im falling out of my chair man. good one

:rofl:

I love these threads. Too bad it really should be in OT...Redneck you asshole keep the racing forums clean!

Bahhh, it really did happen though. I did race the duder in the Civic... kinda... it belongs here. :biggrin:

You're just all jealous you're not driving a 5000+lb vehicle with 150hp. :rolleyes:

well redneck, sound like ricer talk, "260" horse power? dude what ever happened to gettin it over at least 350 hp?

Bahhh, it really did happen though. I did race the duder in the Civic... kinda... it belongs here. :biggrin:

You're just all jealous you're not driving a 5000+lb vehicle with 150hp. :rolleyes:

Na, I'm just jealous cause I can't seem to finish a race in my Yogo...I almost get'em.

But nice Hehehe Kill Matt:rofl:

well redneck, sound like ricer talk, "260" horse power? dude what ever happened to gettin it over at least 350 hp?


Whoops, haha ment Torque...


It's a badass Van... that's a lie, don't believe that.

hahahahaha....can I have the free cat?:icon16:

Redneck I got a electric scooter that said its going to make your little white van its bitch :iceslolan

Wow, throw in Civ and you guys got a very very close race...haha sorry civ you got a better car than I do

and Red Neck y don't you throw in some naaawwwzzz in your 1B hp at 2500rpm Van? you'll be runnin 7s in no time

Red whenever you wanna run you just let me know

http://actioncyclery.com/images/cozmo_med.jpg

I got 5 grand that says the Accord can whoop that van, the electric scooter, and the bike!!! Lets do it!!

I'll be waiting at the body n sole until you get there.








:lol:

I got 5 grand that says the Accord can whoop that van, the electric scooter, and the bike!!! Lets do it!!

I'll be waiting at the body n sole until you get there.








:lol:

DOOOO ITTT........DO IT....DO IT (from Starsky and Hutch)

Good choice on his part. I might of had to turn off the Overdrive and go to Ludacrous SPEED!... Hell, maybe even Plaid.[/size]

You just made me turn on Spaceballs...

My big wheels ownz all of j00 dawg.

You just made me turn on Spaceballs...



That can't be a bad thing... great movies are never a bad thing. :sunglasse

My John Deere with 14 whp, 6 gears and a 48" cutting blade will owen alluv joooooo!!!! deere power!!!!

My John Deere with 14 whp, 6 gears and a 48" cutting blade will owen alluv joooooo!!!! deere power!!!!


nothing runs like a deere when it is being chased like a CAT :evillol:

Ohh Yeah?! I got a Unicycle on a BFGoodrich G-force TA/KD With a NOS sticker on the Back reflector that can make a 8sec 1/4 with the 200 shot bottle straped on my Back! :evillol: Man I'll go by so fast that Ill rip the paint of the bike,John deere, accord, the Econoline, And Dampachi's car! :icon16:


:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :icon16: :icon16: :lol2: :lol2:

hahahahaha...Im picturing a guy riding a bike with Nos strapped on his back, holding a lighter at the end of the canister...then BOOM! flying 9s

lol awesome story.

You do know the early 90s Civic have 109hp at the CRANK right? It would have been a disgrace to lose to him. :p

Red whenever you wanna run you just let me know

http://actioncyclery.com/images/cozmo_med.jpg

Pfft...That aint shit...I got a sledgehammer, its got pegs, shocks, lucky!

Pedro for president, he'll make your wildest dreams come true.

Yo I'm X to the Z xzibit and youre on pimp my ride!

your old blowmobile is now a gettin-the-hos-mobile.

we put a wing that doubles as a movie screen, we put speakers on the doors on the outside so everyone can hear your music, we changed the exhaust to a side exhaust and gave you led washers and fake turqoise HIDs. what do you think matt?

http://img156.exs.cx/img156/4364/watermark5kr.jpg

^ lol

Mr. RedNeck383, I got my "R" gear fixed with a special racing "R" gear. Now I'd like to take on your Econoline with my 3 cylinder Yugo, but only fron the dig. I'll use "L" for leap, "D" for drag, but thats it. No "R" for race. Every time I use the "R" I lose.
Nothing over 45MPH...
Name the time and place.

Oh sir. You are on...

Next time you're in the area, just gimme a jingle. You've got my number. :biggrin:

Oh I've got your number, and something special under my hood. Racing spark plug wires.

hahahah SHIT that's great drftk1d!