Getting married while you're young

I have two old mates of mine, both not even 20 yet and are already engaged.

I don't want to bag em out, but are they serious? I mean, seriously, 19 years old and you want to tie the knot? I bet they won't last a year.

yeah know.... people said the same shit to me when I was 19. Now I'm 21 and i realize they were right.

no point in getting married that young when you are still trying to figure out who you are.that is the way is see it. during that time you could grow apart. like me and my girlfriend of 3 years did. she did the dumping because i was not where she wanted to be in life....that was me being seriuos all the time. she wanted to live a little and see want other guys were "like" Bitch.

You at least have to wait til after you're 21. The difference b/w the way I was when I was 19, and the way I am now is astronomical. I can only the imagine the pain I would have caused that person had I gotten married at 19.

i worked with a girl who was 20... she is engaged, has a house, has a SUV, and wants kids. I don't understand what the big hurry is....?

Exactly...take you team. See what life has to offer. Maybe there is something out there you'll find you want more than kids before you're 22.

its funny cause like 90% of the guys i talk to who are married say never get married. They dont get laid, they get bitched at all the time, most of them would rather work than be at home with their wives.

Exactly...take you team.

So marrage is now a group effort? j/k

I lived with my ex g/f for a while and if we hadnt lived together there is no doubt in my mind that we would be either engaged or something along those lines. Do NOT think about getting married to someone unless you have lived with them. Im not talking about spending most of your time over at your girlfriends house either. Things get completely different when you dont have any real "escape" from a girl. When you come in at 5am and your so drunk your friends have to carry you inside...she knows. If you have a bad day and need a little time to yourself you better go back to work. It might seem like all fun and games and sex all the time...just wait until the stress comes in, then youll know if you are ready to marry the person.

I have/had 2 friends who were married before 20, one got a divorce about 3 months after getting married, the other shot himself leaving his wife and twin girls behind but thats another story all together. So far from what I have seen getting married early is 0-2 for this season.

Fuck that... I'm not gunna get married till i'm 25+

I need time to enjoy my young age, if you get married when you're 19 you miss out on all the crazyness of your early 20s, some of the best times of your life. In the US you cant even buy beer yet and you're getting married?! thats stupid as hell.

I am with Gotti on this one all the way...!

I'm living with my girlfirend now, and it definitely is WAY different than just spending most of your time at thir house. My stuff gets moved all the time so i don't know where it went. My lucky jersey gets washed when it's not supposed to be washed. I get yelled at for getting up too early to go to work, etc. It has it's good moments, but before you marry someone, I definitely agree that it's a must to live with them first.

If you're in love... Why not?

You can be in love with someone, then find out that the two of you are incompatible in a living situation. I have a friend who was head over heels in love with a woman. They would have been married had they not moved in together. They moved in together and he found that she was unbearable to live with and they broke up. He still loves her very much, but he knows they have no opportunity for happiness with one another.

I would be asking WHY they want to do it? What have they got to prove? If they are committed to each other for a life time, surely 3 years of living in a defacto relationship won't hurt.

Sounds like they are both trying their hardest to enter the 'adult pond' with the biggest splash possible. Not advisable.

I'm not getting married before i'm 28, at the earliest. Maybe even 30.

2 reasons:
* fun
* career

ha.. fuck that

No marriage until late 20's-early 30's. I want to have a nice car and plenty of cash in my 20's, not having to worry about mortgages and kids and all that sort of lame stuff.

I was 35 when I got married. Just the right age. :iceslolan

Another thing for me not getting married untill late 20's early 30's...I have some serious goals in mind (olympics 2008, 2012 for pistol), and no woman is gonna get in that way....

Later

-Ryan

I can't say not to on this one...I got married to my high school sweetheart at 20 and have now been married 9 years..Still going strong....BUT....it helped that we had been dating off and on since we were like 15, and had had other relationships that never worked out...You can't predict when that one special person will walk into your life....But everyone on here that is saying they want money and time before you get married take note......she gets half when you seperate! Spend it all before you get married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol2:

yeah, thanks for the reply guys. Seems I'm not the only one who seems a minor problem with the idea of making such a bold decision early on in life.

I want to get married around 30. 32 would be cool, cause that's how old my dad was when he married mum.

i got married at 18...he was 23...now im 22,and its just different...

I just cut my ring finger off.

i say wait until you are Least 25. just to get school out of your system. then think about serious dating. then if things don't work out, you still have everything you came in with. and a little more knowledge about yourself. You never actually know anybody. You just learn their tendencies enough to keep up with yours. tendencies change. everyday is different.

My friend is 20 in just over a month, been living with her bf for a year, been together for 3 years. She's 3 months pregnant and is now engaged. Her bf only proposed because she's pregnant. That's just sad :(

One of my other friends was engaged at 19 and was planning to get married at the end of last year, that turned to crap pretty quickly.

I don't think many 19 year olds are mature enough to handle marriage. How do you know at 19 (or any age really) that that's the one person you want to spend forever with?

I waited until I was 30. I think it was a good decision to wait. There is so much to do and see while you are still young...take advantage of it. Even though I am still happily married, I still look back at the time I was single with great memories. Getting married can really change your life (at least it did to me.) I look back at amazement at how different my life was. No real commitments, no one depended on you, live your life on your own terms. Now with a spouse and kids, you realize how busy your life can become, you don't have enough time to do the things you once enjoyed, people depend on you more often, and your goals in life become more important.

My ex, got married after graduation, it didn't even last a month.

My friends dated from 8th grade through high school and only broke up like 2 or 3 times. Freshman year('01) of college - engaged, this May - married.

Fuck. Like every got-damn girl in my classes is engaged just about.

^ "i have to be engaged or married before i am a senior in college!" bah humbug. They been watching too much sex in the city.

Fuck. Like every got-damn girl in my classes is engaged just about.

I feel your pain, and the ones who arent engaged are too ugly to bring home to meet the dog because she might get jelous and think I got a new dog.

sivic, that has to be the awesomest thing I have heard in a long time, thanks for the laugh.

As for early marriage, no thanks. I haven't even found a girl that doesn't feel like a noose around my neck when we're dating, so marriage is out of the question.

i got married at 18...he was 23...now im 22,and its just different...

How is it different? I'm curious to hear what you have to say. i agree that people change, especially during those years, but it sounds like you have a better knowledge than most of us around here.

i got married when i was 20. i was engaged two years before that and dated my wife two years before that. i'm 22 now. our relationship is just fine, we get along great. we own our house have 3 cars a money to do what ever with. i see no harm in getting married young just as long as your ready for marrige and are willing to take on the responsibilites.

it works in some cases, but i think about 70% under 22 probably get divorced. my friend got married two yrs ago, she was 20, he was 24, divorced after 1 1/2 yrs.

i got married when i was 20. i was engaged two years before that and dated my wife two years before that. i'm 22 now. our relationship is just fine, we get along great. we own our house have 3 cars a money to do what ever with. i see no harm in getting married young just as long as your ready for marrige and are willing to take on the responsibilites.

holy shit.. you own a house, 3 cars and money to spend on whatever at 22!

Did you inherit that money or somethin?

I'm going to wait until at least my mid to late twenties. That way I'll already be financially stable and had the chance to have some fun, without worrying about the kids, or the house payment, etc.

There are always exceptions though....my parents were married at 18-19 and had me shortly after, and they're still married today.

I'm trying to wait so that I can pay up front for the ring, and have enough put away so that a down payment on a house is an option. I also am trying to make sure I have zero debt at that point. Those three financial aspects are very important, IMO.

its funny cause like 90% of the guys i talk to who are married say never get married. They dont get laid, they get bitched at all the time, most of them would rather work than be at home with their wives.

Exactly...living proof.

I'm going to wait until at least my mid to late twenties. That way I'll already be financially stable and had the chance to have some fun, without worrying about the kids, or the house payment, etc.

There are always exceptions though....my parents were married at 18-19 and had me shortly after, and they're still married today.
That was very common back then for the bride and groom to be of a young age. My mother was 17 when she married, and her sisters were around that age. Back then things were different than they are now. Times are different and there are different demands and responsibilities placed on each other. Jobs were easier to find and things didn't cost so much as they do now. Everything now seems to be money driven. It seems to me that during the decade of the '80s is when things started to change. there are more "outside influences" now ( if that's what you want to call it,) that affect relationships and their longevity. You have influences from the various tv shows, back then it was "Leave it to Beaver", "The Brady Bunch", and "The Waltons." Now you have shows like reality based shows which show different types of relationships and how more $$$= better life, and shows where relationships are not as important as they once were, resulting in breakups and who can sleep with the most people mentality. It also seems that life back then was simple and now it is more complex. You also have more people with multiple marriages under their belts, and those that wait until their late '30s or 40's to marry. One thing I have noticed over the years is that people I know who have dated or lived together for many years,finally tie the knot, and then within a couple of years are divorced. Makes me think they never should've married in the first place... they still might be together.

Times are deifinitely different now. I'm sure it's a cycle that will come back eventually. People used to marry really young, now they're waiting a little while. I'm sure it will revert back to marrying young sometime down the road.

I feel your pain, and the ones who arent engaged are too ugly to bring home to meet the dog because she might get jelous and think I got a new dog.
:lol2:

That or they're just straight up bitches.

I met my husband at 17 and married him at 18 had my daughter at 19. We have been married for 7 years. We had our share of problems most in the first year. But we learned to compermise with each others bad habbits. We have every thing we could possibly want. We are verry happy. Yes my man works, but not to get away from me. He takes every oppertunity to spend time with me and our kids. He is a great man and I love him verry much, more every day. I dont regret marring at a young age. If I could do it all over again I would not change a thing. I say if it is what you really want, go for it...

holy shit.. you own a house, 3 cars and money to spend on whatever at 22!

Did you inherit that money or somethin?

i inherited no money but we did inherit my father inlaws house. i have a 95 accord, 93 caddie on dubs, and my wifes 2003 caviler. they aren't expensive cars. right now i'm selling the caddie to my sister to work on a my crx project. we don't have very many bills. we saved and paid cash for the accord and the caddie. and my wifes we pay payments on. you just have to know how to spend your money.

I agree. we have a 25 year note on our home, we are down to 7 years left on payments before it becomes ours. Gods honest truth!!!!

The thought of buying a house scares me right now. I'm not even sure which steak to pick out at the grocery store, let alone which house to live in for a considerable amount of my life.

thats why u get a wife, i cant cook for shit! women, cant live with em, cant live without em! just dont marry a control freak and u may be ok! the day i marry a girl that wants me to sell my car to buy a new kitchen set, is the day i blow my head off!

A story from the weekend. A friend of mine is getting married in December, well they had their engagement party this past weekend. Apparently you had to be a couple to get invited or some b.s. like that. Everyone hates his fiance, always has, always will. She's a two-faced white-trailer trash bitch that is pretty chunky and ugly and she's a bitch. Everyone has tried to talk him out of it, even his closest friends and still to no avail.

To make a long story short, my friend that was there, tell us that she makes a toast(keep in mind that her parents and his mom is there) and says "thanks to everyone for being there and this is to the last blowjob I'll ever give."

What the fuck? How trashy is that?

it definately wasn't classy. I have a friend thatis married. everybody thought it was all good until we all figured out that she mainly liked him for the military benefits he was receiving. that is some bs. She never got a job and quit school to be with that guy. Where is the logic in that? Even tho i am hurt you won't see me quitting school and crap to be with somebody.

At that point my wedding would come to a screeching halt.

A story from the weekend. A friend of mine is getting married in December, well they had their engagement party this past weekend. Apparently you had to be a couple to get invited or some b.s. like that. Everyone hates his fiance, always has, always will. She's a two-faced white-trailer trash bitch that is pretty chunky and ugly and she's a bitch. Everyone has tried to talk him out of it, even his closest friends and still to no avail.

To make a long story short, my friend that was there, tell us that she makes a toast(keep in mind that her parents and his mom is there) and says "thanks to everyone for being there and this is to the last blowjob I'll ever give."

What the fuck? How trashy is that?
All class.

Tony Stewart - the smart ones plan on trading up their houses as the markets shift ~4 years or so. ;)

sounds like a divorce in the making, no head=no go.

:lol2: Well I just found out, last night he called off the whole thing. Think I'm one of the first to find out. This is awesome, that's all I have to say.

when I was 17, I was in love. I thought I had met my future wife. I had great times. I believe that I was as happy as anyone can ever be. Sadly it didn't work out because she wasn't on my level, but what if it had worked out? If she felt the same about love as I do, then I would have been more than happy to be married to her for the rest of my life, since her 18th birthday. Which would have made me 19 at the time.

For those of you who would rather go out and party, and do drugs and have casual sex with random people, just because "Hey, I'm young, I want to enjoy it"... you are the reason why it's hard to find love at a young age. If you all would just grow up and realize that love is better than anything in the world, then young marriages wouldn't be a problem. I had a thousand exciting times with my ex. I can't wait until I meet the girl for me. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with one person. The thing about is that too many people are too immature. You meet someone and all they wanna do is party. I have so much more to offer than any club, any drug, and any amount of casual sex. And I know that theres a girl out there who is just the same. I like to party and have fun in the meantime, but I would never pass up the opportunity to fall in love with the right person. Not just for some crazy party fun. Anything you do to have fun anywhere, any time, any how, can not compare to the fun of being in love. And if you meet that person at a young age, and you are smart enough to understand their good and bad traits without the blinders of love, then you would be absolutely retarded to move on, just because you want to be young and free.

I think OZ said it best though. If you are in love and you are so sure of it, then what is the rush? There is nothing wrong with being together, unmarried for a few years just to make sure. That is the only thing that I can agree with about why not to get married young.

I am probably going to wait till my mid-fourties till I get married. It will probably take me that long to find the right person. Hell I don't even date. But that probably has to do with me working so much and being on call 24/7. The closest thing to dating right now is a friend who gets off work at midnight and gets in at 12:30-12:45 then comes and hangs out or rides with me at night. There is another girl who I helped last week durning a snow storm who has been on a few runs with me.

and it thought was the only one. Thanks Rick! if both of you find each other, theres nothing wrong with wanting to share the same feelings. If you do, DONT fuck it up because being heartbroken is the only thing that can't pass as a crime to commit. the only reason i said im wanting till i turn 25 is because of the exact reason Rick said above. Sometimes if feel if i am asking too much for a realtionship. if you don't want to have one that is fine. we can be friends.(or not) NOT LOVERS. if what we are doing is uncertain or temporary, why make someone feel the opposite? We try hard to find the right people but are suck with people who just like the idea of having a relationship and not the feeling. i like the feeling. things like getting your life straight will come if you respect the fact of being young. we're not retirees that have all the time in the world to do stuff. You just have to sacrifice the fact that you are not a young teen anymore(or at least im not) and having that somebody can make (or should) your transition into your life or man or woman-hood easier. not harder.....sorry guys just venting...

:lol2: Well I just found out, last night he called off the whole thing. Think I'm one of the first to find out. This is awesome, that's all I have to say.


I'm waiting for the same thing...

I never talk to the guys though, one's in Canada, and the other I haven't seen in over a year.

A lot of people have different opinions. I don't regret for a minute having gotten married so you, which was before I was 21. My wife and I had been dating since we were 16. We lived together for 2 years before we got married. Now we have to great kids. Yeah we were young and had some problems, primarily the first 6 months, but you work through it. Maybe it was just true for me, but I think when you find the person meant for you, you will just know it I did. Life is too short to mess around and waste time, why not worry about what really matters if it is right there. People tell us all the time that it must really suck to be married and have kids at such a young age. You know what I have to say to them, not at all. Yeah you may be able to go party and have fun, but at what cost? Can you really afford it? I am in the best shape I probably will be in my whole life, I will be able to run and play and do things with my kids while they are growing up and not get too tired or whatever. Another part to that is before we are 40 our kids will be out of high school and on their way in life wherever that may be. We will have been in our careers for quite sometime. Then we will be able to have fun, and unlike most young people we will have the money to do the things we want to do. We won't have to worry about what we are spending. We have 4 cars (2 new and only make payments on 1), a house with no payments, and money to burn. I love my life and wouldn't trade it for anything. If it is meant for you to get married young and you are ready for it then why not.

i was 20 when i got married...don't regret it for a moment...have a kid and get married when i was young was my plan...but having 3 kids wasn't :grinno: i'm enjoying it adn wouldn't want it any other way...itz been 5 years now and my son is about to turn 6, daughter about to turn 3 and daughter just turned 1 :thumbsup:

I'm waiting for the same thing...

I never talk to the guys though, one's in Canada, and the other I haven't seen in over a year.
Yea, it sucks to always be bitching about your buddies girl. The funny thing about this chick is she lied about soooo much shit. Some really fucked up shit too. She had an abortion WITHOUT telling anyone and then somehow she started saying my buddy told her too. Which all of us know is a lie.

Our group, for the most part are all against abortion but it was even more the fact that she LIED and tried to pin it on my friend just pisses me off. Esepcially, when I know he would have wanted her to have the kid. Anyways, she graduated from college this past December with a degree in education. Well she is currently a waitress at the neighborhood bar at the front of my parents neighborhood. A HUGE step down for having a degree, however, like I told everyone the other night,

"You know we should all be thankful she's not a teacher, because I know damn well I don't want that bitch teaching my kids." The found that quite funny.