Things that Hallmark cards don't say...

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

----------------------------------------------------------------------


Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


----------------------------------------------------------------------

I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

#################################################

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

************************************************** ****

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

================================================== ===

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.


:icon16:

Priceless :lol:

i love the last one thats to funny

They're all great.

:thumbsup: :lol:

ROFLMAO :rofl: :lol: :rofl:

:lol2: nice, very nice :lol:.

:lol2:

Haha, We should start up a card business with this stuff on it.

- Kevin

Only from Tonio!!! :iceslolan :grinno:

:lol:

Most of em were hilarious.


:lol:

:icon16:

Omgwtflol

I love it. :lol:

Sometimes, it would be more honest to send one of these... :lol:

yeah, it would be fun to send cards like that to people.