Mathematics of life
Spec2 Girl
03-19-2002, 05:51 PM
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
NeoFreek
03-19-2002, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by FTO Girl
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
lol...good one. :D
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
lol...good one. :D
taranaki
03-19-2002, 06:17 PM
Many a true word spoken in jest.:uhoh:
moondog
03-19-2002, 06:28 PM
Originally posted by FTO Girl
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
:huh: so what are you saying here, sweetheart darling baby honey???
:p
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
:huh: so what are you saying here, sweetheart darling baby honey???
:p
Spec2 Girl
03-19-2002, 06:31 PM
Originally posted by moondog
:huh: so what are you saying here, sweetheart darling baby honey???
:p There’s an exception to every rule sweetie. :D
:huh: so what are you saying here, sweetheart darling baby honey???
:p There’s an exception to every rule sweetie. :D
darkness
03-19-2002, 10:21 PM
Originally posted by FTO Girl
There’s an exception to every rule sweetie. :D
oohh how cute.:apuke:
There’s an exception to every rule sweetie. :D
oohh how cute.:apuke:
Spec2 Girl
03-19-2002, 10:41 PM
Originally posted by darkness
oohh how cute.:apuke: All I have to say to you Mr Darkness is :finger: :finger: :finger:
:D :p
oohh how cute.:apuke: All I have to say to you Mr Darkness is :finger: :finger: :finger:
:D :p
darkness
03-19-2002, 10:43 PM
:flipa: fine then I won't send you the pic that I thought you might like as an avatar.
Spec2 Girl
03-19-2002, 10:50 PM
Originally posted by darkness
:flipa: fine then I won't send you the pic that I thought you might like as an avatar. OK Mr Grumpy :D :hehehe: :p
:flipa: fine then I won't send you the pic that I thought you might like as an avatar. OK Mr Grumpy :D :hehehe: :p
speediva
03-19-2002, 11:04 PM
*lol*
Some old, most new, and all funny! Thanks, FTO. I really needed that.
Some old, most new, and all funny! Thanks, FTO. I really needed that.
*Cru_Thik*
03-20-2002, 12:30 AM
lol ..yall'....:silly2:
Setanta
03-20-2002, 02:11 AM
That'd be funny... if only it wasn't true :D :D :D
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