Calling AF: Evil Help Required

The Situation

My best mate is taking a few days of annual leave at the moment. This means his boss is reading all of his work emails.

I need something to send to start office rumours, basically so he won't come back with a smile on his face.

This is the opportunity for the best COT practical joke of all time.

It needs to be planned and co ordinated, so first of all we need a theme. Eg. convince them he's having a gay affair etc.

Then we need someone good to author the thing and finally I will send and report back results.

Go for it my minions...

:evillol:

I wouldnt do somethign that gets him fired, gay affair sounds like it would eb hilarious, without knowing the boss, or what he is like its hard to say. is he down with joking around, or is he a strict son of a bitch, if he is strict, even somethign like personal use of work e-mail may get him in trouble.

Dunno - nothing malicious or slanderous (OK, a bit of mud slinging), basically something that will be funny when it comes out it was all a joke.

I say send him some emails, In a reply format so it shows the orginal messege. Make it sound gay as hell be like "I cant wait to meet at that sex shop when you get back" etc etc. Some subcribitions to gay porn websites etc etc.

- Kevin

No, no, no. Nothing so obvious. Something with a bit of subtlety that will just make people start to ask questions...

The Situation

Go for it my minions...

:evillol:

Send me some details. I'll PM you a fake message, and if you like it, you can send me the email address to send it to.

Hmmm... I dont know then. oh well

- Kevin

1.Does boss have daughter (son)?
2.Does mate have...welll...mate?




Let's get some backround on these people

Don't know anything about the boss.

What do you want to know about M?

If the boss is married, I would fake that he is having an affair with the boss' wife. If the boss is single, then say he's having an affair with the secretary. I don't know, can't think of anything else. Maybe that he's a transsexual or something.

Alright, how close is your mate with your boss? Sexualy or non-sexually it doesn't matter.
Does your friend have a wife/gf that the boss would know about?

Does yuor friend seem to be a shy, quiet guy or is he like a crazy man?


Gimem some details on his personality

NFI about the boss - simply because he's got a few and I don't know who will be reading them.

Marty - outgoing personality, but with some definate reservations. I would guess he is quietly efficient at work.

Make it look like he is trying to ignore the gay guy or he keep contacting the gay guy, like stop calling me for the last time I'm not interested with you it was just a one night stand and I don't think I could ever let my kids or wife down on something like that. Or make it really gross and go into detail about how excited the other person would be to see him again and say something like it's my turn next weekend my ass is still swollen...something along those lines will allow hilarity to ensue :D

Let's play on his work.
Do you all have your own cubicle, office?

Make it seem like he enslaves his cooworkers to do his stuff while he leaves the office to go party with some wives.....something liek that


tell me if it's good enough

:thumbsup: Keep em coming.

Alright, gimme another person he usually hangs out with at work? other than you


and gimme some names of people you know have housewives

send letters to his email account pretending to be a doctor asking how he's been feeling since his sex change operation. or make it seem like he was asking about getting one done.

send him an e-mail that you are proud he is interested in having a sex change operation, then explain to him it is painfull but worth it in the end, however the new "part" may not function properly for months, and make it seem like that answered a question that he was extremely woried about. lol, im going ot have to use that one.

Jm93 and Max - perfect :thumbsup:

Raz - I don't work with him or know anyone in his company. Sorry dude.

Go with the sex change e-mail, But what are you going to send it from not many doctors use a hotmail account. ;)
- Kevin

What about a letter of offer and a job contract, complete on company stationary?

He's smuggling immigrants and owns his own nike plant

Marty,

Hopefully you get this before you go on leave. We need to talk about the next lot of goods coming in - our last courier nearly got nicked so the bosses are a little worried. Also, that Irish prick you sorted out is starting to stink here, and people are asking questions. We need to stash him somewhere - I was told you're an expert in this sort of thing.

You mentioned something about a goldmine at work - can you clarify? If it's short notice I don't know how we're going to get enough people together to do the job. Let me know.

-G.

:lol2::lol2::lol2:

Perfect tokky. Might send that one if no better submissions before 3pm. :D

Marty,

I think we can help you with that promotion. Just give us some details on your boss. Address, car, and it will be taken care of. Make sure you are maintaining a good relationship with (Insert boss's name) so nobody gets suspicious. Invite him to dinner sometime. Oh and the guy that saw you with his wife... don't worry about him. That has all been taken care of. Glad to see they took the bait on your reason for leave. See you in Brazil,

Vinny

Marty,

Hey I hope you get this before you leave, but theres gonna be big bucks coming into the bank off Riverside. Make sure you have your rifle, and plenty of ammo. Bring your scope too, we want you in a high location to snipe. Dont forget a ski mask and your suit, we're talkin lots of kills. We've got a location all mapped out so we won't be seen. Again, we're talkin big bucks... Remember 2001? Think bigger. Enough to eat off of for a loooong time. We got Big Mike and Dirty Dave bringin their trucks so we can take all the bodies with us. We don't wanna let any of em get away from us this year. BIG BUCKS!!!

Lou

Its pretty suspicious, but it could be a hunting trip, could be a bank robbery...who knows?? Tell your boss that your friend called you up from his vacation and was talking about getting a new house. Then if your boss ever happens to ask about the email, of course your friend will deny it, because its fake and he knows nothing about it, but your boss won't know that until you pop the lid off. of course tokksins letter was brilliant. I hope your joke works, it should be pretty funny.

Marty,

I think we can help you with that promotion. Just give us some details on your boss. Address, car, and it will be taken care of. Make sure you are maintaining a good relationship with (Insert boss's name) so nobody gets suspicious. Invite him to dinner sometime. Oh and the guy that saw you with his wife... don't worry about him. That has all been taken care of. Glad to see they took the bait on your reason for leave. See you in Brazil,

Vinny


Be very careful with this, because you can get into a lot of trouble with the police. Plus it would not be as funny if the boss thought his life was in danger. I like the sex-change one.

Marty,

I think we can help you with that promotion. Just give us some details on your boss. Address, car, and it will be taken care of. Make sure you are maintaining a good relationship with (Insert boss's name) so nobody gets suspicious. Invite him to dinner sometime. Oh and the guy that saw you with his wife... don't worry about him. That has all been taken care of. Glad to see they took the bait on your reason for leave. See you in Brazil,

Vinny

waaay too specific

Marty,

Hey I hope you get this before you leave, but theres gonna be big bucks coming into the bank off Riverside. Make sure you have your rifle, and plenty of ammo. Bring your scope too, we want you in a high location to snipe. Dont forget a ski mask and your suit, we're talkin lots of kills. We've got a location all mapped out so we won't be seen. Again, we're talkin big bucks... Remember 2001? Think bigger. Enough to eat off of for a loooong time. We got Big Mike and Dirty Dave bringin their trucks so we can take all the bodies with us. We don't wanna let any of em get away from us this year. BIG BUCKS!!!

Lou

again, too specific and almost to the point of obviously being fake.


Marty,

Hopefully you get this before you go on leave. We need to talk about the next lot of goods coming in - our last courier nearly got nicked so the bosses are a little worried. Also, that Irish prick you sorted out is starting to stink here, and people are asking questions. We need to stash him somewhere - I was told you're an expert in this sort of thing.

You mentioned something about a goldmine at work - can you clarify? If it's short notice I don't know how we're going to get enough people together to do the job. Let me know.

-G.

The only thing that keeps this from sounding like one of those random virus generated canned emails is the fact that his name is at the top. brilliant.

Marty,

I hope you've recovered from our night of passion last week. I had an incredible time on Saturday and juding by your inability to walk the next morning, you did too. Give me a call, we have to hook up again.


Mike

ROFL!!! Crazayjay you are a sick MOFO!

Reminds me of the movie "The White Chicks" where the dude is in the wheel chair! :lol2:


Anyways, use Tokky's, I think his is best by far but I'll try and give it a shot!

Hey, I cant believe you actually managed to get out of work for this! How long are you off for, cause you know your going to have to heal before you go back right? You should just be in and out... Not much pain at all, you'll be a whole new person when your done! Very special person! So are you sure you are ready for this? Its a big step and I dont want you to ruin yourself just for me. If you dont want to I will understand, I'm not forcing you. Let me know before you leave if you're still willing. My parents will be on vacation for the whole time you're here and I got out of school so everything should be fine. I'm getting sick of all this highschool drama BS anyways. Well I guess I'll talk to you soon!

Roberto

Dear Marty,

This is Doctor Willy Lopitoff responding to your inquiry about gender reassignment. We've had one of our specialists go over your application and we've decided that you are a perfect candidate for the procedure. We would like to schudule an appointment for you to come visit our facility, where we can further discuss the procedure in detail and answer any questions you may have about it. Please call our office at(some phone number). We look forward to hearing from you Marty, or should we call you Mary?

Dude, every night this week, damn we were hammered! You better lay off the bottle before you lose your job!

(with bottle of liquor hidden in his office)

Dear Marty,

This is Doctor Willy Lopitoff responding to your inquiry about gender reassignment. We've had one of our specialists go over your application and we've decided that you are a perfect candidate for the procedure. We would like to schudule an appointment for you to come visit our facility, where we can further discuss the procedure in detail and answer any questions you may have about it. Please call our office at(some phone number). We look forward to hearing from you Marty, or should we call you Mary?

You may want to add...

"Please call us during regular business hours as our employees cannot handle the emotional impact of the mentallity of the gender-disfunctional past working hours."

This will cause the possible monitoring of his phones calls during work.:lol:

Marty, it's Doc, we need to talk.

So what's the dealie yo Oz? You sent anything?

send him someflowers from jack, or fred or somethin!everyone will see the flowers and ask questions!

Marty,

I hope you've recovered from our night of passion last week. I had an incredible time on Saturday and juding by your inability to walk the next morning, you did too. Give me a call, we have to hook up again.


Mike:lol2:
I would expand on this by adding a S&M twist. something like...

Hey Marty,

I've been trying to get a hold of you for a while now, and you are not answering your calls. Hopefully you get to read this email. I hope you've recovered from the other night of passion at the S&M party. We had an incredible time and judging by your inability to walk the next morning, you did too. But you haven't called to confirm next weeks party. Plus the rest of the gang miss you. Were we too soft? Were we not rough enough. Come on Marty we really need you again, you were such a big hit and it not the same without you. We even sent you flowers as our token of thanks. Did you get it. (We code named the card by signing it Chrissy).

Give a call
Robert

Oh btw, John held on to your whip, you seem to forgot it.

TS out
Then send flowers with the card signed Chrissy or any other non-gender specific name.
:lol:

Tomorrow is the day. :)

So did Tokky's idea get sent or what?

Yep :evillol: