Corporate Lessons
Oz
01-30-2005, 09:25 PM
>>>Corporate Lesson 1
>>>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>>>shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
>>>towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
>>>the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
>>>you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman
>>>drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
>>>Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
>>>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
>>>gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
the
>>>nex t door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he
>>>say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Corporate Lesson Learned: If
>>>you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
>>>shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
>>>exposure.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 2
>>>A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
>>>forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
>>>After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
>>>nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
>>>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
>>>once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized
>>>"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun
>>>went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>>>look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, f urther up, you will
>>>find glory." Corporate Lesson Learned: If you are not well informed in
>>>your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 3
>>>
>>>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>>>lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes
>>>out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first!
>>>Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving
>>>a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!
>>>Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the
>>>beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
>>>the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says
>>>to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
>>>after lunch." Corporate Lesson Learned: Always let your boss have the
>>>first say.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 4
>>>
>>>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
>>>him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
>>>answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
>>>crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Corporate
>>>Lesson Learned: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
>>>very high up.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 5
>>>
>>>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
>>>the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
>>>energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the
>>>bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
>>>dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
>>>branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
>>>reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was
>>>proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a far
>>>mer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Corporate Lesson Learned:
>>>Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
>>>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>>>shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
>>>towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
>>>the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
>>>you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman
>>>drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
>>>Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
>>>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
>>>gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
the
>>>nex t door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he
>>>say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Corporate Lesson Learned: If
>>>you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
>>>shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
>>>exposure.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 2
>>>A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
>>>forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
>>>After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
>>>nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
>>>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
>>>once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized
>>>"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun
>>>went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>>>look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, f urther up, you will
>>>find glory." Corporate Lesson Learned: If you are not well informed in
>>>your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 3
>>>
>>>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>>>lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes
>>>out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first!
>>>Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving
>>>a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!
>>>Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the
>>>beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
>>>the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says
>>>to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
>>>after lunch." Corporate Lesson Learned: Always let your boss have the
>>>first say.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 4
>>>
>>>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
>>>him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
>>>answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
>>>crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Corporate
>>>Lesson Learned: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
>>>very high up.
>>
>>
>>
>>>Corporate Lesson 5
>>>
>>>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
>>>the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
>>>energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the
>>>bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
>>>dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
>>>branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
>>>reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was
>>>proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a far
>>>mer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Corporate Lesson Learned:
>>>Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
imtheoneandonlyD
01-30-2005, 10:15 PM
lol, those were awesome.
clawhammer
01-30-2005, 10:59 PM
I really liked them.
KustmAce
01-31-2005, 01:13 AM
:rofl:
Great find ozford
Great find ozford
MadMac56
01-31-2005, 01:22 AM
Jimster
01-31-2005, 04:18 AM
I love it!!!!!!! *Translates it and emails it to co-workers*
tonioseven
01-31-2005, 08:34 AM
:sunglasse:sunglasse:sunglasse:sunglasse
YogsVR4
01-31-2005, 12:13 PM
Nice :lol:
93rollaracer
01-31-2005, 01:08 PM
Haha...4 and 5 are awesome
chacal
01-31-2005, 01:17 PM
I love it!!!!!!! *Translates it and emails it to co-workers*
:1:
:1:
Cyprus106
01-31-2005, 04:54 PM
I think what I love the best is the related links... "NUN DOLLS!!!"
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