Police Quotes

The following were taken off of actual police car
videos around the country.

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document"

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a
9mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket,
huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I
am the shift supervisor?"


"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat
or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and
step in monkey crap."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have
quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets
as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."

and the best one .. . .

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't. Sign here."

I like the one about the warning, and the one about giving pretty women tickets.

Those are pretty damn funny.

those are pretty good. cops never say anything funny to me....sad

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a
9mm bullet fired from my gun."



hahahahahaha, top shit!

proof that cops are assholes who like to make fun of you

proof that cops are assholes who like to make fun of you

Agreed. Power hungry bitches.

"The police they got just a little gun
So when I'm on the streets, I walk around with a bigger one."
- KRS ONE

Heres a police quote..

"It smells like weed in your car Mr. Murta. Have you been smoking marijuana tonight?"

i Know many people who use those. Very common in Law Enforcement. My Favorite
Driver: I pay your salary!!
Officer:Good Your just who i need to talk to because i need a raise.

They usually shut up and take the ticket.

Meow!

proof that cops are assholes who like to make fun of you

Sadly true for most traffic cops.

Sadly true for most traffic cops.
Yes it is sad. This coming from a guy with a Law Enforcement background.
Having been through the Academy, you can always tell the guys who are in it just because they were picked on alot in school. Unfortunately, there is an abundance of these guys where their whole world revolves around their badge

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a
9mm bullet fired from my gun."



hahahahahaha, top shit!

yeah that's got some ownage to it

I've had these said to me before

So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket,
huh?"

If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."