Warnings on bottles in the Future
Oz
01-19-2005, 04:52 PM
Subject: Warnings on bottles in the Future
Following the legislation forcing Cigarette companies to print health warnings on tobacco products, the government has now tabled a new law to force producers of alcohol products to print similar warnings on all their product. Below are examples of warnings that they will have to use.
New warning labels for liquor, wine and beer containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what in the world happened to your bra and panties
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading Cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
Following the legislation forcing Cigarette companies to print health warnings on tobacco products, the government has now tabled a new law to force producers of alcohol products to print similar warnings on all their product. Below are examples of warnings that they will have to use.
New warning labels for liquor, wine and beer containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what in the world happened to your bra and panties
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading Cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
CrzyMR2T
01-19-2005, 05:08 PM
lol...... i thought the last two were pretty funny.
Cyprus106
01-19-2005, 05:20 PM
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to wake up the next morning with a person of the opposite sex resembling a whale, rhino, ape, or some variation thereof.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause unexplained holes in doors and walls. (Happened to me Sunday Night)
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to believe you can fly if you're standing on a roof or other places of height (Happened to my roommate)
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up in strange and inexplicable places, i.e. doormats, yards, cars, under cars, under yards, beds, dorm rooms, etc.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to hang out the window of your ride's moving car and scream obscenities, derogatory remarks, cat calls, or random "I love you"s at police officers or people of opposite sex that you deem either hideous or gorgeous, depending.
WARNING:
The consumption of JACK DANIELS brand alcohol may cause you to wake up in a jail cell in Ohio with no pants wondering what the hell happened.
hehe, Nice OZ. :bigthumb:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to wake up the next morning with a person of the opposite sex resembling a whale, rhino, ape, or some variation thereof.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause unexplained holes in doors and walls. (Happened to me Sunday Night)
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to believe you can fly if you're standing on a roof or other places of height (Happened to my roommate)
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up in strange and inexplicable places, i.e. doormats, yards, cars, under cars, under yards, beds, dorm rooms, etc.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to hang out the window of your ride's moving car and scream obscenities, derogatory remarks, cat calls, or random "I love you"s at police officers or people of opposite sex that you deem either hideous or gorgeous, depending.
WARNING:
The consumption of JACK DANIELS brand alcohol may cause you to wake up in a jail cell in Ohio with no pants wondering what the hell happened.
hehe, Nice OZ. :bigthumb:
youngvr4
01-19-2005, 05:23 PM
the 2nd 4th and 6th one are me all the way! lol funny as hell
93rollaracer
01-19-2005, 05:55 PM
holy shit...think i've seen a few of those before, but still awesome
irongoya
01-19-2005, 05:55 PM
lol so true
SeXy_AnGeL
01-19-2005, 06:25 PM
seen them before...funny the first 5 times...not the millionth
clawhammer
01-19-2005, 07:46 PM
seen them before...funny the first 5 times...
5 times??? It wasn't even that funny the FIRST time.
5 times??? It wasn't even that funny the FIRST time.
87lToronadol
01-19-2005, 11:49 PM
:grinyes: :icon16: :iceslolan
Damien
01-20-2005, 07:45 AM
Never read the ones Cyprus posted, those were good. Oz man...those are about as old as naki :rolleyes:
YogsVR4
01-20-2005, 10:20 AM
Good ones! :lol:
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crayzayjay
01-20-2005, 10:52 AM
Never read the ones Cyprus posted, those were good. Oz man...those are about as old as naki :rolleyes:
Older :icon16:
Older :icon16:
goat_launcher
01-20-2005, 10:53 AM
Good ones OZ, all of them are true, esp. calling ex-lovers at 4AM
Cyprus, I HAVE to know the story behind the Jack Daniels one. .:lol:
Cyprus, I HAVE to know the story behind the Jack Daniels one. .:lol:
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