Hey AF friends I need your help badly!!!!!!

Ok during my Winter Break before I went to Switzerland. I met a girl at my school a few weeks ago. She wanted to hang out with me to get to know me more. I got to hang out with her one day and we saw movie, had Jamba Juice and walked around. She said I wear a nice cologne and she likes my car and the way I drive. After I dropped her off to her place she gave me a hug and so did I. After that I thought about that night and after that and now, I really like her a lot now because she is such a nice girl to be with right now. I've been taken this step by step. I did get her a xmas but I havent got the chance to give it to her yet because shes either busy or I see her hangout with this other guy that is her friend but I want her to recognize me also. Oh well. What do think I could do to take this up another step to point that she wants me as much as I like her. Please help my AF buddies!

I would just talk to her friends (some queiet ones, not the gossipy ones) to find out how she feels about you, then take it form there.

I would just talk to her friends (some queiet ones, not the gossipy ones) to find out how she feels about you, then take it form there.

Why mess around? Call her, or go talk to her... Don't play the junior high school game where you talk to all her friends and shit. Who cares if she's with another guy. Just go up and say hello and all that, but save the xmas gift for when you're alone (if she is up for that).

I just say flaunt the money you've got to get her in bed.

Why mess around? Call her, or go talk to her... Don't play the junior high school game where you talk to all her friends and shit. Who cares if she's with another guy. Just go up and say hello and all that, but save the xmas gift for when you're alone (if she is up for that).

I concur.

:werd:

:iamwithst

Dude, you shared Jamba Juice, given yourself a hug with her, and she likes how you smell.

Your in!

go get some!

What the heck are waiting for? Your in now all you need to do is git r done!

Nothing ever got done by sitting and waiting...go out and be agressive. Go on dates and do small things, and above all...take it slow and don't seem like you're too interested. You could push her away if you move in too fast, but don't worry, by the sounds of it, you are already in.

hang out with her as much as you can, without seeming like a desperate stalker.

just try to learn more about each other and look for signs of flirting.

I would just talk to her friends (some queiet ones, not the gossipy ones) to find out how she feels about you, then take it form there.

bad idea.

hang out with her as much as you can, without seeming like a desperate stalker.


I'm an expert at that... remember, there is a fine line between cute and creepy. Just know how to walk it.

I just say flaunt the money you've got to get her in bed.

this one also works on occasion :rolleyes:


I would also like to add that if she is actually not single, but you still want to pursue a relationship, then you'll have to come up with a nice shpeel about the way you feel that doesn't make you creepy but implies that you'd like to date her. This one can be tough to pull off. Remember, don't make it too specificly about you and her, be kind of non comittal. At least that is my experience. But if she is single, then anything goes :thumbsup:

BTW, :useless:

:iagree: Well put

Pound it!

Why fuck around?

well you definitely need to let her know how you feel, if you don't you will miss out. Just make sure you don't come off as desperate. Just let her know and don't make it seem like its all you think about etc. (that may be thpught of as creepy). Just invite her out or something and make sure you have a great time and then be like " hey I think you're swell" haha (you get the idea)

Don't involve her friends it never works. Think about it, what good would it do? then if they do let it leak to her she will think you are too shy or lame or something to just talk to her. girls don't generally like that. One thing that WILL work however with friends is if they like you, not in the way that you like her, but in a "hey he's a great guy" type of way. That way when you let her know how you feel and she discusses it with her friends they will be like oh he is a great guy. See where i'm going with this?




edit: By the way I wouldn't push the present on her until it is appropriate. Take her out, have a good time, tell her how you feel, wait a little while for the present. If things go well after you tell her how you feel maybe give it to her the following week or something. If things don't go so well when you tell her then save it for another girl or return it.

Pound it!

Why fuck around?

Gee Toksin, you should really speak your mind sometimes. You know, say what you feel. Don't sugarcoat it !!!! :lol:

Ok! this is some good new so far what happend. Today i saw her in the lockers and I had the gift in my hand I said hey. I told her " Hey, heres something I got from Switzerland." She liked it a lot and gave me a hug. I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said that she said next weekend would be good. I guess its another step up I guess.

well you definitely need to let her know how you feel, if you don't you will miss out......

Sorry knorwj, but to tell you the truth, the LAST thing you want to tell a chick is "how you feel". This may seem unorthodox, but trust me, it's the truth. You need make yourself more of a "topic." By telling her how you feel, you are no longer a challenge. Think about it this way: If you are an attractive woman, you have hundreds of guys come up to you every day kissing your ass. You know that you could get into bed with any one of them whenever you wanted. So you look for a guy that is interesting - that's a challenge - that does unexpected things. If you tell her that you like her, you instantly kill all the mystery, sexual tension, and challenge of your relationship. She will then instantly start viewing you as a typical guy that she can have any time she wants, because you know that you like her. You need to make yourself scarce. Play hard to get. Give her THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU!!! How do you make someone want something more? You make it rarer!! If you're there following her around all the time (not saying you are) she will know that you are NOT a challenge, that you're just like a typical guy, and that she can have you whenever she wants. She has probably had lots of guys give her gifts, compliments, and tell her how hot she is. She KNOWS she is hot. You need to set yourself apart from the normal guys. DON'T treat her specially. Just act cool. Be cocky & funny. Bust on her about stuff. Make her laugh. And then, after you've gotten her laughing, tell her you suddenly have to go because of X. This will knock her off her feet. Make it seem like your a busy guy with an important life, that does NOT revolve around her. You need to come across as independent and VERY confident. Chicks dig this stuff. DON"T call her constantly. DON'T email her constantly. Give her a few days. Giving her a few days in between things will give her more time to miss you and to build the tension. This kind of tension is a GOOD thing. You must NOT let yourself become a girly man who showers her with compliments and flowers all the time. Be a man's man, be busy and important, be cocky & funy, be confident, and leave her hanging. Do this, and you'll become interesting, confusing, and mysterious as hell to her, and she'll dig you. Good luck. just my 2 cents.

sorry ridenour but I disagree. Most girls love attention, they will not go for the guy that plays hard to get. they will go for the guy who acts interested.

If you play hard to get she will think she is too fat or too ugly have a good cry with her girlfriends because you obviously don't like her and move on to the next guy.


I think Justin is doing a fine job so far and playing hard to get (especially when there is another guy already involved) would be the worst thing to do. Obviously showing attention to a point of harassment etc. would be bad but just playin it cool and hanging out and letting her know how he feels when the time is right is the best thing he could do.

jcz, you had a gf before? we need to know about your resume.

iss that the one asian chic, u show me a couple of months ago?

Ok! this is some good new so far what happend. Today i saw her in the lockers and I had the gift in my hand I said hey. I told her " Hey, heres something I got from Switzerland." She liked it a lot and gave me a hug. I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said that she said next weekend would be good. I guess its another step up I guess.
WoOt WoOT. Keep it up. Don't forget to P.i.M.p. the beemer.

Girls love a Bimmer


wasent there a study done that guys who drive bimmers have more sex :naughty:

I have never had a gf before. But I have lots of girls as friends though. Yeah, I dont know if this can be the first one but I'm giving it try becasue she seems the nicest girl I have met so far. Maybe if u guys are nice, I'll post a pic of her...

^Wow...he's a virgin...in the dating scene I mean...right, anyhow.......

Ridenour has a point but before that happens, if you even want to go that route and seeing how this maybe your 1st g/f...it's risky in the sense you might do it too much and lose her 'cause she thinks you're so busy or something girls think but ya do have to practice somehow i guess. As I was saying, you need to build a little something, find out if there's anything between you two first. I know you learn all this in dating but...wait,there's an idea. Get to know her a little then actually date her. Why does no one do that.

I think it was ci5ic who said don't play the junior high games...actually date her and show her a good time but don't do date after date after date. Mix it up.

Next biggest hint, talk to some girls about this...we're guys, we've done it but how I started was I had lots of friends that were girls and I just listen to them talk and apply, with my own twist of course.

Then there is always be yourself, ask her out in a week or so and go from there but who does that anymore.

^Hope something will help man

_nait

Grab 2 handfuls of ass, if she laughs and giggles you got her, if she slaps the hell out of you it was never meant to be.

I would just like to say to u all that thanks for giving me lots advice for this. Ivbe been looking at all these adivces to see what will happen. Keep it coming. I hope this may change. I'm trying not to talk to her every single day but like every other day just to say hey.

Don't be too distant, but don't come on too strongly.

You'll figure out the middle ground.


*sigh* young love

Hands up who is jaded and cynical?

I think ridenour is spot on the money. It takes most guys so long to realise the truth in what he is saying. Stay on the scene, play hard to get, keep it casual.

If I could offer you three words of advice, they'd be: Classy, not creepy. If you have class you can basically get any woman you so desire.

If I could offer you three words of advice, they'd be: Classy, not creepy. If you have class you can basically get any woman you so desire.

amen.

Hands up who is jaded and cynical?


You aint yet old enough young lad :rolleyes:






jcz1987 the more you worry about it, and fuss over it the worse it will be, and less likely you will end up going out with her.

If you like her, and you get a little nervous talking to her, and she's putting out some body language that might indicate she feels the same way, then simply ask her out.
Dont mess around trying to be classy, or cool.
Just get her involved in a conversation then ask: hey, would you like to get dinner one night.
Take her to dinner, or a movie, or what ever it is young kids to now and you will learn soon enough if theres an attraction or not.

And be HONEST with her.
Saying "I like you" will get you laid much faster and with less fuss than anything else.

You aint yet old enough young lad :rolleyes:

Didn't say I was ;)


old man

old man


*grumble grumble*



At least Im not as old as Yogs :uhoh:

Can You All Please Speak Up? I'm Wearing A Towel.

jcz1987If you like her, and you get a little nervous talking to her, and she's putting out some body language that might indicate she feels the same way, then simply ask her out.
Dont mess around trying to be classy, or cool.
Just get her involved in a conversation then ask: hey, would you like to get dinner one night.

I wouldn't say classy and cool, so much as smooth. Smooth meaning don't be nervous, just be. Don't live up to anything, just be comfortable. Be yourself. Like how you would act around your own family. You don't worry about what you say to your parents or your siblings; its just natural. Thats how conversations should flow. Self conciousness is bad. I'm the same age as justin, and I hope hes had at least a little experience with girls; the "late bloomer" (for lack of a better term) should be prepared to get it wrong at least 2-7 times before you get it right...

This is my first time. I guess I may just give up because my friends were all making fun of me about how I only got hugs from this one girl and they have had way more then me(kisses, sex, etc.). And one of my friends have huged her more than me and made fun of me of that. They consider me the bottom of the pit and I felt bad about that. I hate it how my freinds treat me like an asshole. I wanna show them somthing that I can get a girl. I hate myu friends now. I fell like a loner now.

Dude,
Do it just to prove it can be done.

:thumbsup: Chin up mate.

This is my first time. I guess I may just give up because my friends were all making fun of me about how I only got hugs from this one girl and they have had way more then me(kisses, sex, etc.). And one of my friends have huged her more than me and made fun of me of that. They consider me the bottom of the pit and I felt bad about that. I hate it how my freinds treat me like an asshole. I wanna show them somthing that I can get a girl. I hate myu friends now. I fell like a loner now.
I think you can do it as well. Ignore your friends, it makes it all the more rewarding when you prove them wrong.

One more hint: A sense of humor is a NECESSITY, back in my teenage days and even these days I see guys getting dumped by thier women because they are so serious.

Look at yourself in the mirror and realise that people will always make you their bitch if you dont stand up and get what you want..

just go up to her and talk to her, have a chat drop a few jokes, be YOURSELF!
no fuckn fake casanova shit "oh baby im classy and have a benz", even though some chicks will fall for that shit(bottom of the food chain sorts),

think, everytime you see her is a chance to get to know her better. Just like chatting to people here on AF,

gl dude

Ignore your friends. They are trying to intimidate and discourage you. Don't let it get to you. You seem well mannered, mature, funny, and respectful kid. Just be yourself and you will get her.

^ I hope so. I havent talked to her Saturday and part of today. I dont know if I should call just to say hi.

DO NOT CALL!

2-3 day minimum.

:) You're doing well.

Yeah I have not called her. Maybe I'll call her Tuesday or Wednesday just to see if shes doing ok and see what to do when we hang out this next coming weekend.

hahaha.... i'm in a similar situation, only mine is much more complicated and delicate. Shes dating someone else (long term stuff), and I've got to avoid falling off my tightrope for probably a minimum of another 9 months. damn it. In the meantime I have to juggle getting her gifts and stuff when I go on trips and christmas and stuff, but it can't be too expensive; I have to worry about calling her enough that she thinks of me as 'sensitive', but not so often that I come across as a creep; I have to get close enough to her so that i'll be the natural one for her to come to when she breaks up with her bf, but not so close that her bf notices me, cause that would lead to either them breaking up (and me feeling bad) or her not hanging out with me anymore... I'm really amazed that I'm willing to expend all that effort. I must be crazy or something.

I called the girl today to see if she'd thought about my invite for spring break, (to which she couldn't accept but thanked me anyways, so I told her shes going next year) and I'm gonna call her maybe on thursday to see if she is busy on friday. If she is then she'll promise to do whatever with me later, but if she isn't then she will be meeting some more of my friends who have been instructed to make me look good. Take it day by day lol :thumbsup:

ec437 - that is extreme dude!

But I can sort of see where you coming from. Some of them are just always worth it. All of it.

worth it? yes I'm thinkin' so. I had a crazy specific list of things to look for in a girl, she is the personification of the list and a little more. Its insane. Plus we get along like... perfect...


wow I am insane. I have yet to decide whether this is a high point or a low point lol

No, I'm still on that side of the street myself.

which side? i'm confused...

Same as you. But I have slept with her. And sort of seeing her.

hahahaha, yeah I'm working on it. Remember how I said whenever shes busy she promises to do something else with me later? Current vouchers include drivein theater, possibly a weekend resort place on the other side of the state, snowboarding, a concert, and some other stuff I forget... I also promised to teach her how to drive a stick... :loser:

Snowboarding!! :thumbsup:

overnight weekend resort 200 miles from boyfriends and parents > snowboarding :thumbsup: lol

Snowboarding in Colorado :thumbsup:

I also promised to teach her how to ride my stick... :loser:




:uhoh:






Hey hey, don't blame me for reading it like that, I'm Italian, what the hell is your excuse :p

I just say flaunt the money you've got to get her in bed.
Best advice in the thread so far :D




No. Seriously, like Jimmy says, be classy. Just don't be too nice. Girls will walk all over you if you're too nice.

Sorry knorwj, but to tell you the truth, the LAST thing you want to tell a chick is "how you feel". This may seem unorthodox, but trust me, it's the truth. You need make yourself more of a "topic." By telling her how you feel, you are no longer a challenge. Think about it this way: If you are an attractive woman, you have hundreds of guys come up to you every day kissing your ass. You know that you could get into bed with any one of them whenever you wanted. So you look for a guy that is interesting - that's a challenge - that does unexpected things. If you tell her that you like her, you instantly kill all the mystery, sexual tension, and challenge of your relationship. She will then instantly start viewing you as a typical guy that she can have any time she wants, because you know that you like her. You need to make yourself scarce. Play hard to get. Give her THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU!!! How do you make someone want something more? You make it rarer!! If you're there following her around all the time (not saying you are) she will know that you are NOT a challenge, that you're just like a typical guy, and that she can have you whenever she wants. She has probably had lots of guys give her gifts, compliments, and tell her how hot she is. She KNOWS she is hot. You need to set yourself apart from the normal guys. DON'T treat her specially. Just act cool. Be cocky & funny. Bust on her about stuff. Make her laugh. And then, after you've gotten her laughing, tell her you suddenly have to go because of X. This will knock her off her feet. Make it seem like your a busy guy with an important life, that does NOT revolve around her. You need to come across as independent and VERY confident. Chicks dig this stuff. DON"T call her constantly. DON'T email her constantly. Give her a few days. Giving her a few days in between things will give her more time to miss you and to build the tension. This kind of tension is a GOOD thing. You must NOT let yourself become a girly man who showers her with compliments and flowers all the time. Be a man's man, be busy and important, be cocky & funy, be confident, and leave her hanging. Do this, and you'll become interesting, confusing, and mysterious as hell to her, and she'll dig you. Good luck. just my 2 cents.


Coming from a girl, this does work... to a point. But a girl has to already be hooked on the guy, to the point that if he plays it like that she will notice. If the girl isnt' that hooked she won't even notice. And so given there's another guy in the picture I really would not recommend this idea.

I had a guy do this to me once, I was totally hooked on him and so it worked for quite a while. But he played it out for too long and I figured it out and said fuck that and walked away.

OK, So heres what I did today I swa hr in the locker area today at school she saw me walking by. She hold the nicest smilr I have seen and she waved to me and said HI!. I felt so happy. I said hi back too. After school I saw her and her friend walking near the school side walk. I was driving out but thrity people were around there. I honked my horn and then drove off. I dont know if she knew that it was me who honked my horn.

hahaha, random... once I saw this girl I knew getting out of school while I was driving by in my new car on the way to the airport, I waved and she waved back with a confused look on her face... wasn't sure she recognized me until she mentioned it later and asked why I was driving a lexus now :p

sorry ridenour but I disagree. Most girls love attention, they will not go for the guy that plays hard to get. they will go for the guy who acts interested.

If you play hard to get she will think she is too fat or too ugly have a good cry with her girlfriends because you obviously don't like her and move on to the next guy.


I think Justin is doing a fine job so far and playing hard to get (especially when there is another guy already involved) would be the worst thing to do. Obviously showing attention to a point of harassment etc. would be bad but just playin it cool and hanging out and letting her know how he feels when the time is right is the best thing he could do.

Exactly! I give my girlfriend all the attention she wants and we (secretly) engaged. Although you can't come on too strong.