Asking for permission for posting a offtopic !!

Im here to ask about, I can post a topic that doest do any about car , I got some problem that I need to share with any body here, But before I post , I want to ask permission , so I dont got ban. Thanks

theres a dedicated off topic forum if you go to the main automotive forums site

I like to post here , cause I kinda know people here better.

lol. its not that easy to get banned, but im sure the mods appreciate your dedication to the rules. im sure its allright. what do you want to say?

yeah, just go for it man!! that is cool that you asked though, not many people would

just post it.

ok here I go ( My english suck, please understand )

It about my women and my life , and my 1 month old babe

My name is Ken , im 18 year old, I start know this girl about 2 year ago in high school. After know her about 1 month , I brake up with her ( because she hard to listen) , and go out with another women ( it been a week later until I got another girlfriend ). Then my ex girl friend start change alot , and cry , come my house , talk sweet , that make me want come back to her. I did , after get out high shool , I got my driver licent , and bought a eclipse ( been looking for 9 month , all over the place )Then one day , she start fell her stumach hurt, it get worse every day , It was hurt my heart , I want to take her go doctor to see what wrong to her, then one day she say to me that MABE she PREGNANT , I was scare and ran go eckert , and bought ( some thing that test the woment pregnant or not ), she test it , and it show that she pregnant , I dont trust it , went bought another one expensive then the one I bought before and it show that she pregnant. We try to hide away from our parent, but she hurt more every day , and im worried about her and babe. So I go home and dont eat all day , my mom see me and I cry ( yes I do cry ) and tell her about my girlfriend. She was sock cause Im the first one in the familly that not married and had a babe ( my grand mother had 12 children , 6 boys , 6 girls ) I had about 50 couson. After every cool with my parent , now it time to talk to my girl friend parent, her mom got piss and never want to see her or talk to her. But her dad sat down and talk to me , Everything went ok. two day later , her mom ask me to MARRIE HER THIS WEEK , or else i cant see her again , I was shock , I never thought I get marrie this early ( i do thinking to marry her , but not this time ). So I walk out the door and go home, after that day I cant allow to come to the house, but my girlfriend and I still talk pretty cool. BTW my girl still go school that time ( 2 month until summer ). So every day my girlfriend stumach got big , every body in school can tell that she pregnant , and all of them know that babe is my , I take her to school early , and get out at work early to pick her up , and take her home. after many month , she born a little girl. The little girl cant had my last name , cause in the paper , she say that she is single mom , so insurance can pay every doctor bill.

Now I spend more money on the babe and her , more than my car. She tell me to move out and live , but I cant move out , 1 - she still 17 , 2 I dont had real job yet. She was mad at me , she mad at me every day , even now . She dont listen to me any more , dont like to call me , today she go out with some woment all day without call me , I try to call her alot , but no answer .

My life is fuck now ( if I can say that ) , I dont know what to do , to make her happy , I really dont know any thing now.

sorry about this long storry , hope you guy understand what i mean , please give me some advise , if you dont understand any part , please tell me I will tell you more careful. thanks for reading this.

Well, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I don't know how you are feeling right now but I can say it can't be too good. However, the bottom line is that you fucked up. You should of used protection if you were sexually active with that girl.
Since its already too late to play the blame game you need to think about how you can support the baby, you don't neccessarly have to suuport her, but you have to support that baby. If you don't have a real job right now, then I'm sorry to say it, you have to grow up real quick and go find a real job. It sounds like your parents are accepting the fact that she is pregnate, maybe you can ask your parents for help in supporting the baby.
I don't think you should move out and move in with her, thats just another expense that you have if you move out. Stay with your family and go work your butt off.
Sorry to say it, but you are looking at at least 5 years before you can do/buy anything for yourself, but this is one of those life lessons that you happened to learn the hard way.
I don't want to make you feel worse, just cheer up and think that you will be a daddy soon, having a kid is one of those moments in life that should be a great experience. He/she will bring you smiles everyday, so talk to your parents, talk to your girlfriend and see what you guys can work out, just remember it will always come out for the best.

yo , thanks for the advise man , I can only get part time job , cant get full job , cause I go to college . The thing that I worried about is , every day we just falling apart , like we will brake up or something , like when ever I call her , if she pick up the phone , she will ask me " do you had something important to say to me ? " she mean about rent appartment to move out. And that just make me cant say anything I felt to her when she start that.

she will ask me " do you had something important to say to me ? " she mean about rent appartment to move out. And that just make me cant say anything I felt to her when she start that.

ummm...

sorry to hear that man .... everything will eventually work out. all i can say is really sit down with her and explain the situation, and what you truely feel. ask her the same thing, listen to her and how she feels as well.

i mean it may be hard right now with you being in college and only having a part time job, but when your done with college you'll be able to provide better for not only her but most important your child.

hope everything works out for you, your girlfriend and your child. best of luck

and over all your a dad. be proud of that. and i have to say that atleast your good enough of a man to take care of her and your child.

again best of luck with everything

I say you put that baby for adoption. break up with your girlfriend and spend 100% of your time money and effort in to your car. Who needs a family and kids when you have a turbo DSM????

I say you put that baby for adoption. break up with your girlfriend and spend 100% of your time money and effort in to your car. Who needs a family and kids when you have a turbo DSM????
i know your joking, but i dont think he needs that rite now.

I say you put that baby for adoption. break up with your girlfriend and spend 100% of your time money and effort in to your car. Who needs a family and kids when you have a turbo DSM????

ass

thank you , I try to talk to her, you guy very nice to me , thank for that. BTW to the last post I dont had a turbo dsm , try to build up everything , but had to stop now , and use the car for the familly ride ( no I dont want to sell it to get honda ).

Hey my bad yeah i was joking about that family and kids when you have a turbo DSM thing. but i was serious maybe consider putting up the child for adoption since obviously neither one of you are ready to take care of the baby she is still in school and all. But yeah my bad on that i was joking adoption can always be a good option if you didnt decide abortion to begin with.


but if you asked me id take a 9 second turbo DSM over a family and kids any day. i mean come on would your family and kids be able to do the quarter mile in 9 seconds? haha just playing. sorry

I say you put that baby for adoption. break up with your girlfriend and spend 100% of your time money and effort in to your car. Who needs a family and kids when you have a turbo DSM????

Hey my bad yeah i was joking about that family and kids when you have a turbo DSM thing. but i was serious maybe consider putting up the child for adoption since obviously neither one of you are ready to take care of the baby she is still in school and all. But yeah my bad on that i was joking adoption can always be a good option if you didnt decide abortion to begin with.


but if you asked me id take a 9 second turbo DSM over a family and kids any day. i mean come on would your family and kids be able to do the quarter mile in 9 seconds? haha just playing. sorry

Dude, I know your joking, but hey...thats not cool. Can you even imagine what this would be like...honestly try to just imagine what it would be like?

As well, it is not simply a matter of what is easiest or ready. they have produced that child, they created that amazing individual. It is not as simple as "Oh, I can't handle this...give it to someone else".


Killer:

Man, all I can say is I sorry about this whole thing...
If you believe in God, now is the time to pray, pray long and hard for his guidence and protection over all your relationships, and you and your childs well being. You are in my prayers whether or not you believe in God, I do. I hope this is helpful. If you need anything, I am sure there are a lot of people here willing to offer up what they can...keep us updated.

Alex M. Putici

you most not have any kids. I have one and another on the on the way f any car in the world I would never get ride of them thats adoption are anything I work 12 hr a day 7 days a week no bull just to keep everthing going I some times wish I went to college but I love what I have and I will work in a factory the rest of my life but I still have my kids and that is all that matters to me.

well man be there done that. you will make it everything happens for a reason. first that is shit about the last name thing. ins paying for the doc bills don't have nothing to do with that. i'm not maried and i have a 4yr old and she has my last name. ( o yeah i am an ins agent to) but as for her, let her go. you will have a hard time if your not on the birth ticket, but if you are then just do your best and try to see you baby girl as much as you can. i know, she will need her daddy. you'll see she will only want you (daddy's little girl) that's y they call them that. well good luck, hope you don't get blocked, but here you will. so answer fast lol

Killer I was in a similar situation. I have a 3 yr old daughter now. But at the time my girl got pregnant with her we were both in in school. I was in my 2nd semester of college and she was about to graduate high school. Its not fun. Whatever you do dont drop out of school. I made that mistake and it took me a long time to get back. And we had alot of financial and emotional support from both of our families. Its very very tough. At one point I was going to college full time from 7:30am to 3:30 and then working at WaWa pumping gas from 4 to 12 just to get by.

But You do need to sit down and talk to this girl. And let her know that you cannot afford to do everything by yourself. Especially working part time. If you do want to have a future with her then let her know that you guys will stay living with your parents for now until your baby gets alittle older then when she can get a job and help you out with the bills that you guys can get your own place.

And Im sorry just because you guys are having a baby that doesnt mean that you have to marry her. Its not all your fault it takes 2 people to put themselves into that type of situation.

CBURKE was right. Little girls are all about their daddies. (as long as their daddies arent dead beats) My daughter would prefer to be with me over her mother any day of the week. And my girlfriend hates it. But she knows that little girls have more of a connection with their fathers.

Oh and alittle something for you to think about.....Your relationship with your daughter will influence every guy she will ever meet. Your relationship with her is going to set the standard. Its a proven fact that a girl who has a healthy relationship with her father will get better grades in school, have a better social life, and less likely to get pregnant at an early age. So make sure you handle your responsibility as a father to that little girl....

Oh and just so some of you guys know....Abortion and Adoption are just not options for some people. Man up to the responsibility.

LittleGSEclipse could not have said it better myself, and i didn't even think about the boyfriend thing.....haha are you in for that, just think of what you put all them poor dad's through and now you will no. i know you will make it just stay in school and if anything that is y they have state funding try that it's sucks but that is y it is there use it, it was your $ anyway. with that help you will fin it's not so hard.

Oh and alittle something for you to think about.....Your relationship with your daughter will influence every guy she will ever meet. Your relationship with her is going to set the standard. Its a proven fact that a girl who has a healthy relationship with her father will get better grades in school, have a better social life, and less likely to get pregnant at an early age. So make sure you handle your responsibility as a father to that little girl....
i was just reading up on this and it is very true.

Hope you get through this, and keep your head up your know gonna have a little girl.

I say you put that baby for adoption. break up with your girlfriend and spend 100% of your time money and effort in to your car. Who needs a family and kids when you have a turbo DSM????

awww hell yeah!!! heh j/k

sorry to hear about your situation. defently don't drop out of school, college is very important if you want to have a good paying job years from now. Something my dad once told me: "having a baby is the wrong reason to get married." not sure if this helps, but i take my dad's advice very seriously.

i currenly live with my girlfriend, we both have real jobs and gradutated college together. But we don't make all the much money. We are focused on getting established in life right now. buying furnichure, washer/dryer, we also both recently bought new cars. I bought the 99 eclispe GST, and she bought a 05 civic EX 4dr. Funny thing is i'm the car freak and she spent almost twice as much on a car as i did.

anyways my point is that if we had a kic it would be really hard finacially, so i can't imagine how you are in your situation. But keep your head up. and do what you have to do! it will make you a better person for it!

good luck

Hi all of you in here , thanks for the post , im very thanksfull for all the advise ,

One thing that I know today that brake my heart , but because my little girl , I smile ,
today I went to her house 9:00am , and see the babe , afte the babe sleep , i sat down the bed , and talk to my girl friend , I told her everything about , that we cant move out now ,and we still need our parent support , she move away , and I ask her , do you had something that hard to tell me , she tell me one thing ( that make me want to walk out the door) she say had a boyfriend WTF , I cant bleive it , I think it true because i can fell it , i want to cry but i cant, I was pick up my little girl and kiss her, Im worried bad thing will hapent to her, but I stay there for 5 hours , change the babe , make her milk and sing her to sleep. but in my heart it all broken , I dont know what to do , Now i talk to her , just like normal , but inside of me , it brake all , What should I do?

like i said, just be there for the baby, take her as much as you can and don't worry about the girlfriend she doesent seem old enough to deal with this, so fuck her you have a little girl now.

yea cburke is right ... just worry about your little girl.

your girl from what i understand is a bitch. seious man fuck her ... worry about your lil girl first and then your school.

Yo bro , I understand what you tell me ( please dont call her that ), all you right , I should care about my daughter alot , but I just call my dad and wanna talk to him , about im moving out and need his support ( but my gf she really mean , that she cant come back to me ), but I will try to bring all of us together under one house ( that my wish , cause nothing take care or love better than the parent that born the babe) I will be update , every time something new , I hope everything will me ok.

u dont need a honda u need a mini van!

but aside from that...

i feel for u i have had alot of my freinds in similar situations...
im waiting untill im 25 to have a kid... and my girl... (shes sooo amazing)
i can feel for u and i know that ur gunna have alot of problems... but if u
think that letting ur... baby moma run all over u... i think living with ur girl
will be a good idea... if she wants to be with u... but it doesent seem like yall would ger
along to well... just be the best damned dad u can be...

What should I tell her now ? I really want to talk to her.

... tell her u love her... and want to be with her... but if she doesent want to accept that u have to live with ur parents till u get out of college... tell her that she is important to u but ur daughter means everything to u...

i was 17 when my daughter was born. i know the situation. i can't give you advice on what to do. i can tell you that we didn't get married, and split up when our daugher was 4. it was one of the most difficult things i've ever done. but i knew i couldn't love my ex for the rest of my life, it wasn't what made me happy. im glad i did it, now im where i am. where i want to be. i still see my little girl who's almost 7, not as often as i would like but thats life.
i understand what your going through. the mother of my child when through the stage of going out, partying right after our girl was born and pressented a compleatly diffrent person then i had grown to know durring the pregnancy. it took me 4 years to break it off. i wish i would have stood up for what i really needed sooner.

its tought.

she just message me , say that , if I love her , then take her move our her house tomorrow , I dont mind to try that , cause I got enought money to move out and live in the hotel for 1 month, but let me talk to her , and I will post here later , keep update , thanks you very much .

tell her your trying to do your best to work things out. that it may take a lil while but to be patient with you. things like a full time job, getting an apartment, and being able to support a family doesn't happen overnight. you also are gunna need to get as much support from not only your parents but her parents as well.

again best of luck

wow. see my ex didnt want to move out becasue here dad would cut her off $ wise. sounds like her mom is coming down tough on her and she wants out of the house, using you as a way to get her out. from what it sounds like she isnt intrested in you. Just what you have to offer her.

yes her mom got problem with her now

don't move out with her for the wrong reasons. Moving out with out the fiancial means can be disasterous. she has to be want to be with you for the right reasons. does she want to move out with YOU or just move out...

exctly.

i dont know , she say that my babe will dont know me , cause i dont spent enought time with her , so she want me be a fulltime dad.

thats still the wrong reasons. kids don't keep relationships together. would it be better to move out with her now, go into debt and slipt up with the kids 5?

I hope everything went ok , but everytime I heard her say something about , somebody else , or going to friend house for party , it just like a million knife thru my heart, I dont know how long will be finish all this hard time , I trust and pray in god will take care for me , and will guild me go the right way , and make my gf thing the right way, to the way that we both love and take care our little girl ). BTW I really own you guy a big time. I guess I will not tune up my car any soon, but I will keep coming here every day , I will keep update. bai bai

damn man.......WAKE UP!!!
first your little girl will not forget you, your her daddy, 1. daddy's are the first contact with a male, so they are in awww with you, and 2nd i'v been there with the hole moving out thing and if you don't have the money to pay the bills then you have no place to go, and they don't care if you have a kid, they will kick you on the street. i worked 2 jobs 9:00am to 6:00pm then 6:30pm to 1:30am. It will make you sick because you dont get enough sleep. then you will stress about $ so much you'll do nothing but fight. i was makeing $25,000 a yr when i moved out and it was still really really hard. She don't want you, if she did she would not have another boyfriend now just after haveing a baby with you. So let it go, and like i said get your little girl as much and you can every weekend, and o yeah do you know how much daycare is? guess what? i pay $111.00 a week of just my girl, and my boy is $95.00 a week. so think about how your gonna pay for that. get help from the state don't be to proud. That is your tax $ and if you really need it it's there. my doughter has medical with the state because the as asma, so thank good for that. So no more wimpering and thinking that you can stay in a hottel for a mo. o yeah you know if you can provid, or have a place to live the state can take that baby from you and i know you don't want that.

you right

You need to think about between now and the future, not just of right now. I know you love your girlfriend and your daughter, but what your girlfriend is doing to you is wrong! You have to be logical, not just emotional. It is obvious that you both are too young to be making decisions on your own. You should get advice from your parents and tell them what is going on between you and her. I'm sure that your parents love you and would try to give you the best advice possible. Isn't that why you posted here? To get advice? The things that she is doing to you seems like she is doing it out of frustration, panic and confusion, which is driving you nutts! You love her so much that you would do anything she asked you to do and if you don't do it, she plays with your emotions. One of you need to step up and be realistic on what needs to be done in the best way and it aint gonna be her. It's not always good to act on just emotions. There is a diiference between fantasy and real life. Sure she's thinking that moving out is what you both need to do, then what? Her plan isn't the best! You need to put both your minds together and work as a team! That's how you'll make it through! If she won't listen to you, then what makes you think that she will after you both move in with each other? I think that she isn't in a state of mind to be making any type of decisions and it's tearing you apart cause all you want is for her and the baby to be happy. Think as if it was just you and your daughter, take your girlfriend out of the picture when you think of what needs to be done. Think, "After I do this, what happens next?" In your case, you need to be one step ahead to make things a lil' bit easier. Hope you make the best decisions for you, your gf and most important, your daughter. Best of luck to you!!!

I think everyone here has given plenty of wonderful advice to killer. It's easy for him to ask for help from another source. Something tells me he's not just getting advice from us, but from other people as well. I am in no way saying this is bad, but it appears that he's lost touch with reality, which is easy to do in this situation. Killer step back and meditate on your own. You know what the right thing to do is.

Harder Faster , I think you got me , and every one here is making me fell alot alot better , thank you .

what is this dr phill,,i dont mean to sound mean but i cant believe that this thread is still here,sorry about your problems dude but we all have them, life sucks then you die but i do know some of the rules here cuz i broke them for awile and i dont see why this thread is any exeption,it should be in off topic...cuz if anyone else did it they would hear it from the mods,cant enforce some of the rules got to enforce them all,but good luck

Yeah its hard man, i have a 6 year old daughter and me and my women just broke up 2 months ago,found out she was cheating on me, it tore the shit out of me cuz my daughter is not there after work everyday now, but dont get me i pick her up everyday, its not the same tho, im over my X and my baby will always be mine!! So i kinda know what your feeling man. I know its hard but sounds like she playing with your head, try to ignore her for a while and see if she comes to see the light!!! but be there for your kid every minute, just let things go with her its hard but just let go and see what happens. Women can be a very powerful thing sometimes and its taking effect on you bigtime!!!! Now i live in a house by myself <now that sucks!!! My daughter is amazing i love her i have her all the time. And for some of the other post about cars, If i had to choose from my 95 talon tsi awd or my daughter, the CAR WILL BE THE 1ST TO GO!!!

But now since me and the X not together i see the light, because i feel i was just with her now cuz of are daughter. It should not be like that. So now im looking for new ;)

GL man

Eric

I would have to agree with everyone else here. She is definately playing on your emotions to get what she wants... Moving out when you cannot afford it will create more problems. Especially if you are paying all the bills. Trust me I know first hand. Money is the #1 thing couples fight about. And throw that in with a new baby and a couple that doesnt seem to be 100% secure in their relationship and your basically throwing gas on the fire. Its a sure fire way to break-up.
As far as the whole issue that she already has another boyfriend?What the hells that about? You need to get to the bottom of that. She doesnt seem to be tooo stable so she might have just said that to you to hurt your feelings and make you try even harder to do what she wants you to do to keep her.Girls are 10 times better at being deceptive then guys are. And they definately know how to mess with a guys head.
Keep in mind that its good for your daughter to grow up having both parents together. Thats IDEAL. But its not good for your daughter to see yous two together and be miserable and fighting. That will do alot of harm to her.
You can be a fulltime dad without living together.All you have to do is spend time with your daughter,play with her and provide with her. Me and my girl had broken up for alittle while and when we did I took her ass to court and got joint physical and legal custody of my daughter. She was with her 1 week and then with me 1 week. <//~~Just an example of how I had to go the extreme route to see my daughter. Hopefully you dont ever get that far.
I guess what I am trying to say is. Ultimately its your choice to do what you want to do. I know how hard it can be. But it might not be your time right now for the 2 of yous to be together. Me and my girl broke up after our daughter was 2 1/2 and we were broken up for 6 or 7 months. But things worked themselves out and we are now back together.

that great im happy to you man , I hope everything work out for both of us and be together just like you man , that will be the best felling ever.

(feeling) I hate my spelling :banghead:

for a bunch of gear heads... yall can be all deep and emotional! anyway... umm watch out for her... i mean ... she can pull child support and alot of other stuff... she will twist ur balls off

fuck that shes cheating on you dump her ass kick her to the door get costdy of the baby spend all time with the baby trying to be the best father nothing will change who she is. go find a better women that loves you and take care of your child as best as possible. give her your all dont even worry bout the chick

^w0rd