Anyone else get busted on NYE? (Cop tip inside!)

Yes, I got busted on NYE.
Was I doing some amazing-crazy-illegal-cool-impressive street move?

Nope.

I was merely speeding in my girlfriend's '04 Toyota Corolla coming back from doing laundry with her :D I was doing 58 in a 40.
In Pennsylvania, that would be a $140+ fine and 4-points (6 points and you have to retake your drivers test).

However, that was not the case for me because I did some basic things I ALWAYS do when I get pulled and you would be surprised how far these tips will go.

This happened a main route, but not a highly traveled one.
It was dark out (around 6:30 or so) and we wree just talkin and cruising.

Anyway, I see see the cop onthe side of the road and I knew I was busted ... so the first thing I did was drastically slow down and put my flashers on. He pulled out (no redblue lights on) and I traveled a little farther up the road looking for a safe place to pull over. As I pulled over he put his lights on. Generally speaking, I tend to have myself pulled over before the cop does. You would be surprised how much this does for starting things off on a good note.

I stopped, shut the car off and waved to him out of the window.
As he approached, I very CHEERFULLY said "Hello officer."
He smiled and said hello. I said, I realize I was speeding and then I said "I appreciate that you guys are out here on NYE." I explained we just coming back from doing laundry and were talking and I wasn;t wathcing my speed.

The officer was extremely friendly. We had a nice little conversation and he took my information.

When he came back he informed me that I was being cited for "failure to obey traffic signs." The sign was a 40 mph speed limit of course.
What does this mean for me?

$105 fine, no points, nothing on my driving record, nothing on my insurance ... pay the C-note and never hear about it again.
How do I know this?

This is the THIRD time I have gotten this ticket from being polite to a cop. Yes, I had to pay $105 .... but so what? I was speeding, I paid the price and the cop was just doing his job.
At least my insurance and driving record is not ruined.

Next time you are stopped, think about being friendly, appreciative and understanding. It may sound bizaare, but you might be surprised how far it will go. Think about the crap police usually have to deal with: crying people, angry people, ugly people ... let's face it, people hate to get pulled over.

Now imagine you are a cop and you get to meet somone who is friendly, appreciative and understanding.

Thanks for the tips! Wow, You are nice to those cops...I didn't think it payed off as good as you claim...Wow...Thats a good ticket for 20mph over!

... you would be surprised how far "thanking them for doing their job" and "showing appreciation" that they are out there. :)

Im awake? oh ya. ummm its 10:45....

wait, anyway here is anohter tip. if you are going over 120 dont stop. around here 99% of the times the cop wont even try.

Im awake? oh ya. ummm its 10:45....

wait, anyway here is anohter tip. if you are going over 120 dont stop. around here 99% of the times the cop wont even try.

:grinno:...where do you live?

lol,
I was once pulled over in those puberal days with 6 grams of weed and 2 of my friends in te car. I was crossing the border to belgium, i came from holland.

ANyway, long thing short.

after a half an hour of speech from ME about the usage of soft and hard drugs and the fact i live ON the border ( literally) he let me go with no ticket whatsoever (he pulled me over in the first place cause i had a broken light) and gave us our weed back.

Damn i was proud on myself that day lol :loser: :iceslolan

I have had cops chase me above 120 mph.
I have not had them catch me though.

wtf he gave u the weed back?!? thats crazy.. but i wouldnt have risked it. i would have probably ate the weed, if it was crippie u woulda got retarded in no time. i kno 2 people that had to eat an oz. of it. lol

haha, you guys are crazy, Nah I didn't get pulled over, but there were ALOT of cops out where I was yesterday, and they all had a car when I passed em'.

I got pulled over last night for drinking and driving.. but I don't drink. I pulled out of TGI Fridays onto Airport blvd (3 lanes) and went to about 35mph in 1st gear, shifted to 2nd and stopped for a light right after that. I was in the far right lane, but changed lanes before I was at the light to get next to my friend. I pulled next to my friend and asked where we were going.. then light turns green and I start rolling.. giving maybe 1/4 throttle and two cops swoop in behind me out of nowhere with their lights and sirens on. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong at all.. so I'm thinking "these cops need to get by me" so I get in the far left lane and the cops won't pass me.. they're still sitting there on my tail. So I pull over to the median and immediately both cops jump out with flashlights and come to my door. I had taken the key out of the ignition and placed it on the dash.. also put both hands on the steering wheel to let the cops know I wasn't going to do anything. First thing he says is "Why are you driving like an a$$ boy??". I looked at him kind of strangely and said I hadn't been. At that point he told me to get out of the car. He asked for my lisence and I gave it to him. Then he said "I smell something on your breath, is there something I need to know??" I said "no, sir". He asked if I had been drinking and I responded saying that I don't drink. He said "Ok, then.. you mind if we look in your vehicle? Is there something we need to know about in there??" I told him he was welcome to look, that I didn't have anything to hide. Then one of the cops went and talked to my girl friend who was riding passenger. The other cop started giving me the speech about how her parents would feel if she died... etc. He then asked me what my driving record looked like.. I told him a few speeding tickets. He asked how many.. I told him 3 or 4. He asked how old I was and I replied 21. He asked what my insurance rates were.. I told him $428/ month. After that he said "Well, they're about to go up." So I just looked down and shook my head. He started talking about how I shouldn't be driving like that and I could hurt somebody. I had no other choice but to nod my head and say "yes, sir". But anyway.. after that the other cop gave me my ID back and said "have a good new year, stay safe".. and they let me go.
I was relieved that I didn't get a ticket.. but was pissed off because I hadn't done anything at all. I guess they singled me out because of my car.. who knows. I'm still pissed off bc I can't do anything about it..

man thats messed up, i woulda asked them what i did wrong. then if he said u were drinkin and driving i would have been like give me a breathilizer test or how ever u spell it. one time they pulled over my friend, thought he was messed up and said " i kno about u kids and ur xanax" and he sober lol.

but anyway i didnt kno ur car could hit 14.7 stock??

I told him a few speeding tickets. He asked how many.. I told him 3 or 4. He asked how old I was and I replied 21. He asked what my insurance rates were.. I told him $428/ month. After that he said "Well, they're about to go up."

I would have replied....how much do you make? Well it's about to go down...may I see your badge numbers?


As for me introuble on New Years...didnt happen, crashed at a freinds house. Most dangerous time a year to be driving, especially from like 12-3am.

If a cop was an ass to me and i wasnt doing anything wrong except for shifting out of 1st at 35mph i would deffanitly make a complaint. When i took off agian i would have shifted nearing redline. lol

i haven't been drivin for a week because i had jaw surgery on monday...so my car has been sittin in the driveway...i went out and sat in it while it warmed up so it would run the other day and i laughed when i read the odometer...193,500 even...lmao

lol i had to pick up my g/f from work at like 1 am. i saw like 7432954839 cops on the way there, most of them in groups of 3 or 4 patrols that had pulled someone over. i saw one accident, and what looked like a drug bust. it goes without saying that i drove slowly.

I have had cops chase me above 120 mph.
I have not had them catch me though.
Let's hear the story.

The whole ticket thing probably would have been different if you would have been driving Hyde...

yes being nice to the police is always a good thing, wheather you want to be or not, it helps out so much in the long run. I was pulld over about 4 months ago for doing 66 in 50 MPH, as soon as i saw the cop i knew i was getting pulled over, i pulled over immediately on the side, did the hello officer and such. If you get pulled over and you know why you got pulled over, always let the officer know you know why you got pulled over. They dont like to argue with you, the more you argue the madder they get. Heres the few things i try and remember if i get pulled over.
1. Be VERY FRIENDLY AND NICE!
2. Admit what you did and be appologetic.
3. Tell them it was a mistake, and try and give a decent reason as to why you were speeding. Just spaced out for a second, late for work/School, thought you were just going with the flow of traffic.
4. Once the cop leaves, offer to shake his hand and tell him to have a good day, chances are he might pull you over again some day.

Thanks for the tip. I'm pretty much always nice to the cops. I just meet a lot of asses. The ones who are asses are the ones who give me the tickets no matter how nice you are. Usually if I get pulled over on a Sunday, I say I'm late for church, or going to a friends farewell (mormon missionary thing). That usually gets me off the hook pretty nicely. Late...

I would have replied....how much do you make? Well it's about to go down...may I see your badge numbers?

HA HA that'd be a nice comeback for a cop

One time a cop was being the world's biggest @$$hole to me at a road block. He finally asked me in a dickhead attitude "you're lying to me... blah blah blah...where are you really going!?!"
I was so close to looking him dead in the eye and saying "your mom's house". I really wanted to get out of there though and finally he gave up and let me go.

Damn good tips JekylandHyde. One thing I always do if I happened to be pulled at night is to turn on my interior lights. I don't want the cops to think I am hiding something like drugs, alcohol or a gun. And this also keeps them from shining that damn mag light in my eyes.

Oh jesus. Last night at 4:30 i was driving home my passed out girlfriend and my buddy. At that point i wasnt drunk just plain tired and zoning out. Anyhoo, i make the first 40 minutes of the trip without incident. Then i was sitting at a traffic light waiting to take a right turn. It turned green and i started taking the turn, but i was paying more attention to the pretty green lights in front of me. Well, i guess i took the turn a bit wide because i almost ran into a car head on that was going in the opposite direction on the road i was turning onto.

It was a cop.

100 feet away from the police station.

I'm 20

there was alcohol in the truck.


I'll let your guys' imagination run free on what happened next.

Oh jesus. Last night at 4:30 i was driving home my passed out girlfriend and my buddy. At that point i wasnt drunk just plain tired and zoning out. Anyhoo, i make the first 40 minutes of the trip without incident. Then i was sitting at a traffic light waiting to take a right turn. It turned green and i started taking the turn, but i was paying more attention to the pretty green lights in front of me. Well, i guess i took the turn a bit wide because i almost ran into a car head on that was going in the opposite direction on the road i was turning onto.

It was a cop.

100 feet away from the police station.

I'm 20

there was alcohol in the truck.


I'll let your guys' imagination run free on what happened next.

The cop pulled you over, took a peek inside, saw everyone passed out. Asked for your liscense, saw that you were 20. Then he asked you to step out of the car so he can search the car, found the alcohol in the back, and took it out.

You with a puzzled look on your face, said, "Where'd that come from?"
The officer replies, "It was in the backseat. Stay where you are!" He then takes your liscense and registration back to his car(with the alcohol too), gets inside, and drives away quickly. What the hell? So you get back in your car and wonder what the hell happened.

Later that evening, you arrive home to notice the cop car sitting in your driveway. You are now praying to God that he hasn't notified your parents of your doing. So you run inside, and to your surprize you hear nothing but the song "Wild Thing" playing throughout the house. You wander to your parents bedroom, open the door, and to your astonishment the cop is lying in bed with your parents, "doing the laundry". You, too exhausted from your trip, completely ignore the matter, and go to your bedroom, and fall asleep. THE END.

Just kidding, sorry, had to do it. You told me to let my imagination go with it, and that's what I came up with. Man, with a mind like mine, I don't even need alcohol to act incredibly stupid. LOL. Sorry, late...

Nah, i simply drove away and he didn't bother. But good story!

Indeed good story.

And you're a lucky man ;)

If a cop was an ass to me and i wasnt doing anything wrong except for shifting out of 1st at 35mph i would deffanitly make a complaint. When i took off agian i would have shifted nearing redline. lol

Exibitionism of speed

and if I was a cop and you did that to me, i'd find a reason to fuck you


but with that said, its nice to hear people saying *be nice to a cop* for a change, i'm getting a lil sick of people always saying "fuck the police, they all are assholes and dont do anything good" Some are tools but not all.

Ive been let go many times because I was nice to them, even when I was caught doing incredably stupid things.

And once I got a ticket for doing literally nothing, you know what I did?









I fought it, and won because the asshole didnt show up. So instead of being a retard, maby just....oohhhh I dont know....take it and use your head to fight instead of being an idiot, people like you make all the rest of us racers (rcers, people with import cars, classic cars tuned cars, a car with a different muffler, young people) look like assholes.

I think it truly varies.

Last time I was nice to an officer I got the shaft. But the time before that I was nice & was let off with a warning.

I hate courtesy clerks They're always asking "Paper or plastic"
Why can't they just bag my groceries and forget about what type of bag?


That's the same thing as saying you hate cops.

Anyhow, Yeah beeing an asshole to a cop really doesnt do anything. And if You're a real dick, he's more likely to show up in court then if you're nice.
Oh and I wouldn't really suggest lying to cops either.

Im sorry, I doubt anyone will agree with me, but I dont like traffic cops. When they are fighting real crime, they earn my respect, when they are pulling over a kid who just got his car is 10 over (with traffic) and give him a ticket or multiple. And boy, I just love seeing 2 cops next to each other facing opposite ways talking. Why not just send me a video of my tax dollars going in a shredder.

The only time I was ever let off was the only time I should have goten a ticket. I was doing close to 80 in a 40 (late for a freind's house). Luckily the cop that pulled me over I just (literally right before this) checked out at the Jewel I work at (grocery store). He asked me for registration and all that jazz, as I turned to him he laughed, and said get outta here kid and watch your speed. I almost shit myself.

but anyway i didnt kno ur car could hit 14.7 stock??

Yep :) Just takes a good driver.

I wished that worked for me. First time I got pulled over for doing 45 in a 35, I was nice and polite, did the exact same thing, Hello officer how are you...She looked at me and told me to stop sucking up. Cops in Texas=Assholes. Except for the ones where I live. For some reason, If you live in my town, and get pulled over by a cop in my town, they let you go. They let my mom go for a 65 in a 50, and me go from a 50 in a 30.

I got pulled over once for driving to slow! My friends and I piled up into a 1991 suburban...I was driving...The truck has flowmaster exhusat, Thats it...We are coming from the freakin skating rink...Ok so I merge into traffic...And apperantly I merged right before a cop...So the cop follows me for about...5 miles then turns on his lights...I pull over...I asked him this exactly '' May I ask the reason for pulling me over? '' He goes '' Your going 35 in a 45 zone '' I almost piss my pants...I pretend to drop something to laugh...So he wants lisence and regerstration and crap...So I give him that...Then he makes all my buds get out of the car...searches it... (I guess he thaught i was drunk?) He says have a nice day...I say take it easy...I never thaught i could go to slow...

Let's hear the story.QUOTE]
Not a chance. For one thing, there is more than one story.
For second thing, I will not type the details of the occurrances online, I am not that foolish. See me in person sometime. Running from the police is not something I would ever recommend doing and I sure in hell do not ever plan on doing it again.

[QUOTE=clawhammer]The whole ticket thing probably would have been different if you would have been driving Hyde...
Absolutely. ... but I also would not have been speeding in Hyde. :)

I would have replied....how much do you make? Well it's about to go down...may I see your badge numbers?
... and that is exactly what I am talking about not doing.

Seriously, imagine you are the cop. If you pull somoene over and they are firendly, polite and understanding .... compared to if they are arrogant, pissy and frustrated ... how are you going to repsond tothem differently.

One little thing I have learned in my life: If you can speak in a situation, you can affect the situation.

Another little tid bit for you guys:
The last 5 times I was pulled over, I was only cited 3 times.
2 of the citations were the one I described in here (basically a smal lfine and not bad stuff on the driving record/insurance). The third time I got nailed with TWO tickets in NY and I fought them both and had them dismissed.
So 5 times being pulled over, I paid a total of $210 and NO points, NO bad insurance & NOTHING on my driving record. Being polite goes a long way.

Of the last 9 tickets I have been issued, I have always challenged them (take it to court).
My results have been: 3 tickets completely dismissed, 5 tickets reduced to lower fines/no points ... ONE ticket stuck completely.

Exibitionism of speed
heh...i didn't kno the speed flashed u in public...

sorry i just had to say it....you dont need that lil ism at the end...

and yeah....i kno in MY car...35 is like already into second gear...so i can only imagine that you were accelerating pretty hard...and i got pulled over for basically the same thing in my car one time...except for the fact that my best friend was breathin my exhaust fumes into his air filter...which is how he drives...but it sucked because literally 10 minutes before we got pulled over, i picked my car up from the exhaust shop...so my car stunk of weld...the cop was like "whats that smell?" heh

heh guess i am lucky i live in a small town, and of the 2 cops in it one of them lives directly across the street from me, i have ran so many stop signs and sped 20 over all the time in front of him and we just wave at each other when we go by, i guess hes scared if he gives me a ticket ill mess up his house or somethin

I got pulled over last night for drinking and driving.. but I don't drink. I pulled out of TGI Fridays onto Airport blvd (3 lanes) and went to about 35mph in 1st gear, shifted to 2nd and stopped for a light right after that. I was in the far right lane, but changed lanes before I was at the light to get next to my friend. I pulled next to my friend and asked where we were going.. then light turns green and I start rolling.. giving maybe 1/4 throttle and two cops swoop in behind me out of nowhere with their lights and sirens on. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong at all.. so I'm thinking "these cops need to get by me" so I get in the far left lane and the cops won't pass me.. they're still sitting there on my tail. So I pull over to the median and immediately both cops jump out with flashlights and come to my door. I had taken the key out of the ignition and placed it on the dash.. also put both hands on the steering wheel to let the cops know I wasn't going to do anything. First thing he says is "Why are you driving like an a$$ boy??". I looked at him kind of strangely and said I hadn't been. At that point he told me to get out of the car. He asked for my lisence and I gave it to him. Then he said "I smell something on your breath, is there something I need to know??" I said "no, sir". He asked if I had been drinking and I responded saying that I don't drink. He said "Ok, then.. you mind if we look in your vehicle? Is there something we need to know about in there??" I told him he was welcome to look, that I didn't have anything to hide. Then one of the cops went and talked to my girl friend who was riding passenger. The other cop started giving me the speech about how her parents would feel if she died... etc. He then asked me what my driving record looked like.. I told him a few speeding tickets. He asked how many.. I told him 3 or 4. He asked how old I was and I replied 21. He asked what my insurance rates were.. I told him $428/ month. After that he said "Well, they're about to go up." So I just looked down and shook my head. He started talking about how I shouldn't be driving like that and I could hurt somebody. I had no other choice but to nod my head and say "yes, sir". But anyway.. after that the other cop gave me my ID back and said "have a good new year, stay safe".. and they let me go.
I was relieved that I didn't get a ticket.. but was pissed off because I hadn't done anything at all. I guess they singled me out because of my car.. who knows. I'm still pissed off bc I can't do anything about it..


428 a month???

HA HA that'd be a nice comeback for a cop

One time a cop was being the world's biggest @$$hole to me at a road block. He finally asked me in a dickhead attitude "you're lying to me... blah blah blah...where are you really going!?!"
I was so close to looking him dead in the eye and saying "your mom's house". I really wanted to get out of there though and finally he gave up and let me go.

hahhahahahahahahahahahha roflmao!!! wow halarious, i would like to see how a cop would respond to that ha
new years + driving = bad

Musclestang, you shoulda said "I'm going to your wife's house", then used the line from Bad Santa-"And ya might wanna dust that thing off once in a while..."

Man I got pulled over on New Years Day by a CHP! I was cruising pass a 55 mph doing about 76 and next thing I know lights and sirens creep up behind me. He tells me he clock me going 76 and ask where I was going. I told him I was going to a party some where up in Santa Cruz, and he got all excited and ask me where it was. He also asked if he could come through after his shift! To make it short and simple, he didn't give me a ticket and let me go. Inside I was laughing my ass off!

428 a month???

Yeah.. 4 speeding tickets will do that. None in the Celica yet though.

Musclestang, you shoulda said "I'm going to your wife's house", then used the line from Bad Santa-"And ya might wanna dust that thing off once in a while..."

Well, if I would of thought of it I probably would of, but people around here get really pissed at the whole "your mom" remark. I glad though I didn't, spending the night in jail wouldn't of been worth it, but that all depends on what the look of the cop's face would of been.

Has anybody noticed though that cops that pull you over and are real @$$holes look like nerds from high school and are really skinny and weak looking? I guess it'd be like the cop from Meet the Fockers.

Think about the crap police usually have to deal with: crying people, angry people, ugly people
Hahahahha :iceslolan

I got pulled over last night for drinking and driving.. but I don't drink. I pulled out of TGI Fridays onto Airport blvd (3 lanes) and went to about 35mph in 1st gear, shifted to 2nd and stopped for a light right after that. I was in the far right lane, but changed lanes before I was at the light to get next to my friend. I pulled next to my friend and asked where we were going.. then light turns green and I start rolling.. giving maybe 1/4 throttle and two cops swoop in behind me out of nowhere with their lights and sirens on. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong at all.. so I'm thinking "these cops need to get by me" so I get in the far left lane and the cops won't pass me.. they're still sitting there on my tail. So I pull over to the median and immediately both cops jump out with flashlights and come to my door. I had taken the key out of the ignition and placed it on the dash.. also put both hands on the steering wheel to let the cops know I wasn't going to do anything. First thing he says is "Why are you driving like an a$$ boy??". I looked at him kind of strangely and said I hadn't been. At that point he told me to get out of the car. He asked for my lisence and I gave it to him. Then he said "I smell something on your breath, is there something I need to know??" I said "no, sir". He asked if I had been drinking and I responded saying that I don't drink. He said "Ok, then.. you mind if we look in your vehicle? Is there something we need to know about in there??" I told him he was welcome to look, that I didn't have anything to hide. Then one of the cops went and talked to my girl friend who was riding passenger. The other cop started giving me the speech about how her parents would feel if she died... etc. He then asked me what my driving record looked like.. I told him a few speeding tickets. He asked how many.. I told him 3 or 4. He asked how old I was and I replied 21. He asked what my insurance rates were.. I told him $428/ month. After that he said "Well, they're about to go up." So I just looked down and shook my head. He started talking about how I shouldn't be driving like that and I could hurt somebody. I had no other choice but to nod my head and say "yes, sir". But anyway.. after that the other cop gave me my ID back and said "have a good new year, stay safe".. and they let me go.
I was relieved that I didn't get a ticket.. but was pissed off because I hadn't done anything at all. I guess they singled me out because of my car.. who knows. I'm still pissed off bc I can't do anything about it..
you forgot the fast and the furious quote he told you lol

lol, some good advise on this thread :grinyes:

When i had my old modified Ford Falcon back in Australia i got pulled over around 15-18 times, on many occassions i got pulled over twice in one night. I remember this one time i got pulled over after doing this mean burnout around a roundabout in an area where all these car lovers would hang. Little to my knowledge, the cops were staked out watching for shit like that :mad: However, out of those 15-18 times, i NEVER EVER got a single ticket..........yes thats right, not even for the burnout right in front of the cops :grinyes:

Now, in my camaro, in the Emirates, I was pulled over 6 times and I got 4 tickets in those 6 times. Never for speeding, always for stupid minor shit like when i had the stripes on the car the cop gave me a ticket for not changing the color on the registration even though the car was ocvver 80% black. Another ticket i got was for having 3 passengers in the back instead of the 2 since theres only 2 seats in the back.

Point is, the kind of car you drive will definitely make a huge difference.

Well I can say this now that you dont have that car anymore: Im pretty sure that cops hate "eurolights" tails, especially on domestics. They see them as one of two things (depending on thier car knowledge) rice or street racer.

meh, many people didn't like the eurolights i had on my car but i never really cared. I thought they were definitely better looking than the plain sh*tty looking stock ones so hats all that matters. but no, lol, i don't think the lights had anything to do with it.

I don't understand how some people like you have different definitions of rice though. I mean where i come from rice is basically having a car done up on the outside with a bodykit, lights etc....while the engine and performance are slooooow and stock. My car was definitely no slouch and thats why no one ever called my car rice since it had the performance to back up the looks.

I also believe that being too polite to the cops just doesn't work at all. I believe that you just need to get to know the "moves" the cop makes when he's talking to you.
With moves i mean the gestures AND vocally. That way, you can be one step quicker than the cop an even outrun him :lol: . If you know what i mean.
But seriously, the more subtil you are in being polite and innocent, the more it works on the subconcious of the cop so the less he'll think that yr licking his but.

Plus i also believe the age holds the key for some tickets. When yr around the 30's you'll be able to talk yrself out of it much better then when yr 18,20 (from the cops point of view) cause he/she knows younger people tend to dislike people alot more the older people.

So the point is that it's normal that when yr polite or friendly the cop will not always respond to it correctly cause they are also just people.
When that happens use the advice i just gave on top of my reply. It already helped me out (the weed story 2 pages back) :evillol:

PS: I believe the title of this thread needs a change too: "cop TIPS inside"! :smokin: :grinyes:

:grinno: :grinno: just joking, fooling,

whatever
ciao

Since we're talking about how to talk to cops this joke came to mind and I must tell you guys.



This guy was speeding down the road 20 mph well over the speed limit. He goes over a bridge and at the bottom is a cop sitting behind a tree. The cop flips his lights on pulls the guy over very quickly.

The guy waits for the cop to come up and says that he's sorry for speeding but he's really late for work.

The cop ask what the guy does that causes him to go 20 over. The guy says to the cop, "I'm a rectum stretcher!"

The cop looks at the guy asking what a rectum stretcher does. The guys then says, "we put a finger into a rectum, then two fingers, then three, finally our fist, then we work our other fist up in there, finally we stretch it out 6 feet."

The cop then ask "what the hell do you do with a 6-foot asshole?"

The guy looks at the cop and with skipping a beat he says, "you give him a radar gun and place him behind that tree."

Ticket: $500
Court cost: another $500
jail time: 1 week

Look on the cops face: Priceless

Indeed that would be priceless
:rofl: :rofl:

I like this one a bit better:

A guy gets pulled over for speeding. The officer asks to see his liscense and registration. The man replies that he can't give it to the officer, as he left it at home.

The officer then asks the man to see proof that he owns the car. The man replies that he has none, that he stole the car. The officer is rather taken aback at this, and asks to search the car.

The man repplies that its ok, but to warn the officer ahead of time, he has a gun in the glove compartment. The officer, getting concerned, asked if he could look in the trunk. The man said it was ok, but there was a dead body in the trunk. He had used the gun to kill the lady driving the car, and stole it.

The officer imidiately radioed for backup. Soon, an entire SWAT team had surounded the car, and a negotiater approached. He walked up, and asked to see some identification from the driver. He handed the negotiater his drivers liscense and registration.

The negotiater asked then to see proof of ownership. The man said ok, and opened the glove box, and retrieved the pink slip to the car. The negotiater looked into the glove compartment, and saw no gun. He then asked if he could look into the trunk, to which the driver agreed. The trunk was empty.

The negotiater then looked at the man, and said "That officer told me that you had shot the driver of this car, stuffed her dead body in the trunk, and stole the vehicle."

To that, the driver replied, "I bet that lying son of a bitch also told you I was speeding."

:repost:

both old jokes..


hehe

damn cassiesman that joke is absolutely beautiful :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Ah, good to be back on the forums :grinyes:

i have a story..

when i was 18 i had a 87 caddy. i just got my license and was cruising around and pulled infront ofa cop... he flashed his lights and pulled me over. I (not lying of course) am scared of my dad's temper and let it be quite known. he goes "do you know why i pulled you over?" i go "no officer, i really don't." he asks for my license, which i furnish (just 3 months driving at that point) and he goes "well you pulled into traffic prematurely. I'm gonna have to give you a ticket" i go "please officer, you don't know my dad. He has a bad temper and he will kill me if i get a ticket" and the tears flowed. not saying im a cryer, but that point i was... my dad sure enough woulda kicked my ass. the officer looks at me and goes "what are you listening to?" i went "rancid... why?" he goes "that band rocks! have you seen them live?" i went "no... i want to though.." he goes "well worth the money man. Well tell you what, tell your dad to lay off... i'll warn you this time. you just got your license, so i couldn't be a dick to you. You live and you learn. drive home safely"

i got away with a warning.. scared the piss out of me too.