caught speeding :(

While I was driving down SH1 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, and asked:

"Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Speeding ticket: $600.00
Court costs: $250
Look on copper's face: Priceless.

Mate, I hope thats actually what you did.

Coz that is awsome!!

Thought the zilla got you in trouble, Vince.

Oldie but a goodie.

:repost:

That's so cool.

Heard that a while ago, very funny

Never heard that joke before. I thought it was funny and it pulled me in. I was wondering what someone does with a 6 ft asshole and then it hit me. I want you to know im a cop. Im undercover trying to arrest street racers, but dont tell anyone ok.






















im just kidding.

we all have our time. but that sucks. So it's not just Japan that rapes you in the ass as far as fines?

50K zone 105K = 70000yen = 700 dollars

thats a damn big fine dude. It seems a lot worse in yen though.

yea. specially for fucking 60 someodd MPH

lol, thats awesome

just a joke guys. Something posted on another forums I reposted here. Besides doing the speeds that I do, if I got caught the fines would start at about $1000 and go up from there.

No sence of humor for speeds reaching 180mph I guess lol

so you didn't get a ticket?

I love the classics :lol2:

hahahaha...that's a nice one to a cop. LMAO

Cops here are too stupid to hide. They usually get people on Willis Ave hiding in parking lots. Which are fairly visibile if you are NOT on the cellular. Unfortunately I was an idiot and was doing 80 in 30 and got off. Which is god damn amazing. I spotted him and hit the highway and he followed me on I was stupid and didnt get over to the left or middle lane so this way I would just blend in. I planned on getting off at the next exit because the gas situation wasn't great.