TUTORIAL: Changing Your Fuel Plug

CHANGING YOUR FUEL PLUGS
compliments or your local autozone.


Items needed
- (1)Potato
- (2)Really Big Rock
- 1 oz of headlight fluid per plug
- (1) Weight scale
- (1) funnel
- (1) 1/2 in socket
* socket must be European ( like american, just totally opposite.)
- (1) REALLY BIG hammer (like huge)
- (12) bags of VERY salty potatoe chips
- oh......and fuel plugs, those too.

1. Start Early in the morning, go to garage ( or wherever your car is; as long as its away from the annoying significant other)... Turn on tv, if none is available, park in the living room ( but then u must lock Significant other in different room) Find a show (your choice) open chips, eat....watch tv, eat some more....when your tongue is too swollen to close from all the salt, OR u have already seen the upcoming episode of OPRAH, continue to step 2.

2. Crack open your hood, look at in intently, moving all around, making it appear that you know what the hell you are looking at (in case anyone is watching)
now, you see the big rectangle thing? it may say VTEC (this means ur lucky, by the way) this is called a Valve cover... under neath it is the fuel plugs (not to be confused with spark plugs) now there is two ways to get to it.... as always, an easy way and a hard way. so i guess u want to know how to do it the easy way...

3. (easy way) Take the large potato, stick in on snuggly on your tailpipe ( now i know this will be hard, not even I could find a 8" potato that is needed for some installations.... for u people > on to the hard way!) once the potato is on tightly, start your engine. place it in neutral and lay the really big rock on the pedal....go find out how much you gained during the holidays, cry, then go watch opera, and finish your chips (if they are already gone, GET SOME MORE!) return in 30-60 minutes, if your valve cover isnt off by then, go to the hard part.

3. (hard way) Take big Humongous monstrous devlish hammer.....and well... stare at the engine, then back at the hammer, and figure this step out yourself!

4. once the fuel plugs are exposed use the 1/2 socket to remove the 3/8" plugs... i know some of you may think of another way, but trust me, do this....(its an Anti-theft mechanism! fuel plugs are expensive..dont ask how much, if u are reading this, you should have already purchased them.) once plugs are perfectly round... curse really loud....loud enough for the significant other to hear and bring u lemonade. Except they cant, because you locked them in a very small closet that you didnt exactly know was airtight.....until now.
once u have said every inappropriate word known to man in every possible combination.... proceed to pour the headligh fluid down the Cam Resivoir, for no apparent reason.

5. then take your fuel plugs and throw them in the trunk or front floorboard with all of your other "maintinence" parts that were never used, spare tires, mulitple seperate peices of exhaust tubing and the package of condoms that was there when u bought it.

6. step back, idmire your work....

7. unlock your significant other....use thier car (by all means) to take them to hospital..
...
...
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...387. Sign your divorce papers....



CONGRATULATIONS! by doing this I added 10hp to the Rear wheels!
oh shit.....civics are front wheel drive...

wow...

...:eek7:

WOW.....that good?
...good thing i didnt post pictures.....

BTW....tell me how your installation goes!

when i worked at auto zone we used to fuck with people on the phone and ask if they needed any headlight fluid. We called the other auto zone and actually got them to fall for it by asking for headlight fluid for a 2004 mercedes.

lol