Don’t forget to read the instructions….
Spec2 Girl
03-05-2002, 03:47 PM
The following are real instructions from products:
On a blanket from Taiwan:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
(Bugger, what am I gonna use now???)
On a helmet-mounted mirror used by American cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo:
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink:
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In an American guide to setting up a new computer:
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP
TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a packet of American Sunmaid raisins:
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On an American Sears hairdryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of American Fritos-brand Corn Chips:
COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter's special!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of thebox):
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious!)
On British Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
On a Canadian child's Superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On some British frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
On a British Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
On a British Nytol Sleep Aid Tablets label:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
(Duh!)
On British Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
Paint Stripper Heat Gun:
NOT TO BE USED AS A HAIRDRYER.
On a blanket from Taiwan:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
(Bugger, what am I gonna use now???)
On a helmet-mounted mirror used by American cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo:
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink:
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In an American guide to setting up a new computer:
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP
TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a packet of American Sunmaid raisins:
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On an American Sears hairdryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of American Fritos-brand Corn Chips:
COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter's special!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of thebox):
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious!)
On British Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
On a Canadian child's Superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On some British frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
On a British Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
On a British Nytol Sleep Aid Tablets label:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
(Duh!)
On British Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
Paint Stripper Heat Gun:
NOT TO BE USED AS A HAIRDRYER.
darkness
03-05-2002, 03:55 PM
and on a Jetski:
Do not point jet at bodily orifices. (sorry mis-spelling)
(and I'm serious about that, I read it myself)
you've got to think of why things like that appear on products. there are people out there stupid enough to do it.
Do not point jet at bodily orifices. (sorry mis-spelling)
(and I'm serious about that, I read it myself)
you've got to think of why things like that appear on products. there are people out there stupid enough to do it.
NeoFreek
03-05-2002, 03:55 PM
My moms old hair dryer had a warning that said, "Do not use while going to the bathroom." and "For indoor use only." and "Do not use while showering."
Good ones. I always crack up when reading some of these weird instructions.
Good ones. I always crack up when reading some of these weird instructions.
Spec2 Girl
03-05-2002, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by darkness
you've got to think of why things like that appear on products. there are people out there stupid enough to do it. I know, and that is a REALLY scary thought!!! :hehehe: I guess that’s how the Darwin awards got started!!!! :hehehe:
you've got to think of why things like that appear on products. there are people out there stupid enough to do it. I know, and that is a REALLY scary thought!!! :hehehe: I guess that’s how the Darwin awards got started!!!! :hehehe:
YogsVR4
03-05-2002, 08:00 PM
My favorite is still whats on the last step of a ladder "STOP"
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jinushaun
03-05-2002, 08:25 PM
Amazingly, some people will actually sue if those labels aren't on there. Bloody lawsuit leeches!
taranaki
03-05-2002, 10:38 PM
:eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: chainsaw:eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: vasectomy :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: noooooooo!!!!:eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2:
NSX-R-SSJ20K
03-05-2002, 10:47 PM
On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
insects aren't animals :D
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
insects aren't animals :D
NSX-R-SSJ20K
03-05-2002, 10:48 PM
On British Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really?)
Its law num nuts :D
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really?)
Its law num nuts :D
NSX-R-SSJ20K
03-05-2002, 10:49 PM
On a British Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
Mandatory it makes you drousey :D
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
Mandatory it makes you drousey :D
NSX-R-SSJ20K
03-05-2002, 10:53 PM
On a British Nytol Sleep Aid Tablets label:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
(Duh!)
Its mandatory and it makes you tired after sleeping
On British Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
Thats mandatory too so that you don't get sued
Paint Stripper Heat Gun:
NOT TO BE USED AS A HAIRDRYER.
someone got sued and the company decided that not to let it happen again that they'd do this
its only because of other peoples stupidity it's completely logical i don't think this thread is very funny
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
(Duh!)
Its mandatory and it makes you tired after sleeping
On British Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
Thats mandatory too so that you don't get sued
Paint Stripper Heat Gun:
NOT TO BE USED AS A HAIRDRYER.
someone got sued and the company decided that not to let it happen again that they'd do this
its only because of other peoples stupidity it's completely logical i don't think this thread is very funny
Firebird
03-05-2002, 10:57 PM
my personal favorite is the last one, can you seriously imagine someone doing that, that's got to hurt like a bitch they burn your hand if you even get close to them. I bet it drys hair fast though :D
Firebird
03-05-2002, 11:00 PM
quote:
its only because of other peoples stupidity it's completely logical i don't think this thread is very funny
other peoples stupidity is funny, or at least I think so :D
its only because of other peoples stupidity it's completely logical i don't think this thread is very funny
other peoples stupidity is funny, or at least I think so :D
Neutrino
03-06-2002, 04:07 AM
Originally posted by Firebird
other peoples stupidity is funny, or at least I think so :D
You are absolutelly correct.:rolleyes:
other peoples stupidity is funny, or at least I think so :D
You are absolutelly correct.:rolleyes:
ragt20
03-06-2002, 06:38 AM
old but funny......read it long time ago :lol2:
Tireburner
03-06-2002, 07:37 AM
Originally posted by Firebird
my personal favorite is the last one. I bet it drys hair fast though :D
Any attempt to use a heat gun to dry your hair would result in ... WHAT HAIR!?!?!?
Hey, sell the damn thing as a hair removal system for women! I'll bet Ronco would be interested in that idea! :D
my personal favorite is the last one. I bet it drys hair fast though :D
Any attempt to use a heat gun to dry your hair would result in ... WHAT HAIR!?!?!?
Hey, sell the damn thing as a hair removal system for women! I'll bet Ronco would be interested in that idea! :D
Dustin_S
03-06-2002, 01:27 PM
Originally posted by NSX-R-SSJ20K
On a British Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
Mandatory it makes you drousey :D
heheh...that wouldn't be funny if it weren't for one word in that...Read that a bit closer...
On a British Boot's Children's Cough Medicine
what child drives or operates heavy machinery? besides those two from problem child....
:)
On a British Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
Mandatory it makes you drousey :D
heheh...that wouldn't be funny if it weren't for one word in that...Read that a bit closer...
On a British Boot's Children's Cough Medicine
what child drives or operates heavy machinery? besides those two from problem child....
:)
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