Marriage (jokes)
Sham365
03-05-2002, 10:58 AM
Still Unmarried ... Here is Why
1.) Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2.) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3.) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's degree
and the woman gets her Masters.
4.)Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.
5.) Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
6.) There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!
7.) Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
8.) When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a
10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
9.) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
10.) Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in
Europe.
11.) After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
12.) Marriage is when man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
13.) WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
14.) At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
15.) Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
16.) It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still ends up with the same boss.
17). When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car or the wife is new.
1.) Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2.) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3.) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's degree
and the woman gets her Masters.
4.)Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.
5.) Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
6.) There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!
7.) Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
8.) When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a
10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
9.) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
10.) Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in
Europe.
11.) After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
12.) Marriage is when man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
13.) WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
14.) At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
15.) Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
16.) It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still ends up with the same boss.
17). When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car or the wife is new.
YogsVR4
03-05-2002, 01:47 PM
The cynic in me is laughing my ass off :D
DVSNCYNIKL
03-05-2002, 01:50 PM
Originally posted by YogsVR4
The cynic in me is laughing my ass off :D
Ditto!
The cynic in me is laughing my ass off :D
Ditto!
ragt20
03-05-2002, 05:32 PM
gives me a few more reasons not to get married :rolleyes:
:hehe:
:hehe:
primera man
03-06-2002, 03:00 AM
Why didn't you post that 14 years ago:mad: :mad: ....lol
tazdev
03-06-2002, 03:08 AM
I like the last one.
Would have to be a new car:p
Would have to be a new car:p
taranaki
03-07-2002, 04:44 AM
Originally posted by YogsVR4
The cynic in me is laughing my ass off :D
the batchelor in me is bawling his eyes out.:crying: :crying: :crying:
The cynic in me is laughing my ass off :D
the batchelor in me is bawling his eyes out.:crying: :crying: :crying:
SiRedge
03-07-2002, 05:10 AM
Hehehehe some of those are pretty good! :rolleyes:
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