Hard Shift

Hard shifting on first gear resulting in jolts. Very annoying.
This happens Hot or Cold, but more often when hot.
It happens after changing from Reverse to Drive or vice versa
Or just waiting at a light, very scared to get hit in the back because of the long delay before the jolt.
Most annoying on a hill...
This is on a Sonata 04 GLX
It started at around 14K
The dealer update the ECM, but it still does it
Automatic Transmission seems to be confused.

Any feedback would be appreciated, since I have been to the dealer 3 times already