If Santa answere his letters truthfully......

Santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all

yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy



Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How

about I send you a f***ing book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving

your older brother the space ranger. At least he can spell. Santa



*****

Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year,and the only thing I ask for is

peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah



Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa



*****

Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for

my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love,

Teddy



Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a

hurricane. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa



*****

Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left

carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan



Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face

when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of

scotch. Santa



*****

Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy

making toys? Your friend, Thomas



Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I

spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking

myself silly while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa



*****

Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please

PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy



Dear Timmy, That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap

doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa



*****

Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our

house? Love, Marky



Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky" that's why you're getting your ass

kicked at school. Second you don't live in a house, you live in a low- rent

apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do,

through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa

The only really laugh out loud one was the last, but decent list

Very funny for us, but probably not for the kids.

Classic :lol:

lol...that's awesome

lol a couple of those had me actually laughing, good stuff

...like a screen door in a hurricane... I'll have to remember that one. :)

Oh funny funny stuff.. Reminds me of the ATHF episode when they had santa come to the house in the middle of f*ckin July. lol

:lol2:

Those are great. Hey speaking of ATHF, when is that coming back on the air on Cartoon Network at night? i miss that show.

I only like the last one...

Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa
------------------------
I love it! :lol:

Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy

making toys? Your friend, Thomas



Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I

spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking

myself silly while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

^^ The best one! ^^

low budget porno movies..lmao

Sounds like a trailer for Bad Santa. :evillol:

LOL!!!!! Every christmas this gets broken out, it's more or less like Christmas decorations :lol:

Awesome :lol2:

Why does this bear such great resemblance to our favorite "I am better than your kids" webfreak?