An effort to offend everyone
YogsVR4
12-07-2004, 12:09 PM
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pr! cks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ####..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pr! cks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ####..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
clawhammer
12-07-2004, 12:20 PM
haha funny.
93rollaracer
12-07-2004, 12:23 PM
haha...the italian one was awesome. but i wasn't offended by any of them :D
240NIZ
12-07-2004, 12:30 PM
... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Colov99
12-07-2004, 01:11 PM
You missed all the polish jokes. I wasnt offended, I want my 2 minutes back. :loser: :lol2:
ghostguy6
12-07-2004, 01:20 PM
:lol: :spit: Some of those were pretty good
2Slow4U_Noob
12-07-2004, 01:21 PM
hehe i love that last one!
crayzayjay
12-07-2004, 01:29 PM
Excellent :lol:
SniperX13
12-07-2004, 01:36 PM
I liked them all. :)
Keep them coming!
Keep them coming!
Andydg
12-07-2004, 02:44 PM
I liked them all. :)
Keep them coming!
Yes, keep them coming they're pretty good.
Keep them coming!
Yes, keep them coming they're pretty good.
93rollaracer
12-07-2004, 03:29 PM
You missed all the polish jokes. I wasnt offended, I want my 2 minutes back. :loser: :lol2:
exactly...lack of polish or slovenian jokes=me not pissed off
exactly...lack of polish or slovenian jokes=me not pissed off
MasterChief1724
12-07-2004, 03:47 PM
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
psychobadboy
12-07-2004, 03:59 PM
Those are hilarious! Too bad I didn't get offended.
:lol:
:lol:
Raz_Kaz
12-07-2004, 04:21 PM
In the words of the great yogs...
"repost"
"repost"
FairyDust
12-07-2004, 05:14 PM
Those are hilarious! Too bad I didn't get offended.
:lol:
:1:
:lol:
:1:
Oz
12-07-2004, 06:23 PM
:lol2:
tonioseven
12-07-2004, 06:33 PM
:lol::lol::lol:
Jay!
12-07-2004, 06:37 PM
A fine start, but a little short of offending EVERYONE...
(but still.... :rofl: )
(but still.... :rofl: )
george536
12-08-2004, 02:06 AM
:lol:
Toksin
12-08-2004, 04:08 AM
Sluttypatton
12-08-2004, 04:30 AM
Thanks for making my day better for about 60 seconds.
Drifty
12-08-2004, 07:58 AM
sweet MORE dude MOre
imtheoneandonlyD
12-08-2004, 01:48 PM
lol loved the last one, i wanna see more.
Schister66
12-08-2004, 06:06 PM
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong
:cwm27: :1:
They named him "Sum Ting Wong
:cwm27: :1:
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