Post a joke!
SiRedge
02-26-2002, 09:06 AM
There's usually a few jokes floating around this forum at any time - why not post a few in this thread? I've got a few to start the ball rolling...
A drunk man staggers into a Church and sits down in a confessional box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs a few times to attract his attention, but the man still says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking man, there's no paper on this side either."
* * * * *
Jimmy came up to his father one day and asked for a car. His father said,
"Jimmy once your dick reaches your asshole, you can have a car." Two
years later, Jimmy told his dad that his dick was able to reach his
asshole. His father turned to him and said, "Well then, Jimmy,
go fuck yourself."
* * * * *
RECIPE FOR LOVE:
Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana
DIRECTIONS :
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur-lined mixing bowl moistens
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results, continue to knead milk ontainers
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably not overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana doesn’t soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.
Notes:
1. If in unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.
I don't seem to have any good ones at the moment, so those will have to do for now! :finger:
Next!!!
A drunk man staggers into a Church and sits down in a confessional box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs a few times to attract his attention, but the man still says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking man, there's no paper on this side either."
* * * * *
Jimmy came up to his father one day and asked for a car. His father said,
"Jimmy once your dick reaches your asshole, you can have a car." Two
years later, Jimmy told his dad that his dick was able to reach his
asshole. His father turned to him and said, "Well then, Jimmy,
go fuck yourself."
* * * * *
RECIPE FOR LOVE:
Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana
DIRECTIONS :
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur-lined mixing bowl moistens
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results, continue to knead milk ontainers
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably not overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana doesn’t soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.
Notes:
1. If in unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.
I don't seem to have any good ones at the moment, so those will have to do for now! :finger:
Next!!!
taranaki
03-01-2002, 03:28 PM
:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :grey: :grey: :grey: :grey: :grey: :grey: :grey:
89ssgti
03-01-2002, 03:37 PM
I think I found that one on here,but oh well,here it goes.
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blistering January day.
The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up."
So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend.
The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."
The next day, the boyfriend was driving in the buggy with the daughter again.
He said, "My nose is freezing cold."
The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up."
He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend was yet again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
The slightly concerned mother says, "Sure, why do you ask?"
The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out!!!!"
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blistering January day.
The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up."
So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend.
The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."
The next day, the boyfriend was driving in the buggy with the daughter again.
He said, "My nose is freezing cold."
The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up."
He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend was yet again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
The slightly concerned mother says, "Sure, why do you ask?"
The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out!!!!"
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