Guy Walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar, and sits down.

He orders a glass of 18 year old scotch

The bartender thicks he got an ass on his hands so he gives him a glass of 10 year old scotch

Guy takes a sip, and spits it on the bartender and goes, "This is 10 year old, I ordered 18 year old."

The bartender then fills a glass with 15 year old scotch and gives it to the guy.

Guy takes a sip, and once again spits is on the bartender, "I said 18 years old!"

The bartender decides to have little fun, so he turns behind the bar and pisses in a glass, and hands it to the guy.

Guy takes a sip, and spits it everywhere and goes, "This is piss!"

The bartender says in reply, "I know, now tell me how old I am wise ass!"

:lol:

wow that was really lame. totaly didnt see that ending coming.........................

wow that was really lame. totaly didnt see that ending coming.........................

Wow...you're having one of those days where the glass is half empty aren't ya???

Nah, he's right. Crap joke.

meh

i rest my case.

I don't get it

So I shal rescue this thread from extinction












ARIES
Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?
TAURUS
Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
GEMINI
Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
CANCER
Dear God!!!
LEO
Yes?
VIRGO
Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.
LIBRA
Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
SCORPIO
Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the bastards don't deserve it!
SAGITTARIUS
Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
CAPRICORN
Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
AQUARIUS
Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
PISCES
Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.

:loser: i think this thread needs to be deleted.

ARIES
Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?
TAURUS
Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
GEMINI
Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
CANCER
Dear God!!!
LEO
Yes?
VIRGO
Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.
LIBRA
Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
SCORPIO
Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the bastards don't deserve it!
SAGITTARIUS
Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
CAPRICORN
Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
AQUARIUS
Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
PISCES
Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.

Leos kick ass. :lol2:

Mildly amusing.

Egh.

slut

ARIES
Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?
TAURUS
Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
GEMINI
Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
CANCER
Dear God!!!
LEO
Yes?
VIRGO
Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.
LIBRA
Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
SCORPIO
Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the bastards don't deserve it!
SAGITTARIUS
Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
CAPRICORN
Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
AQUARIUS
Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
PISCES
Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.


Dear God, why the repost?
:p

PISCES
Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.



hahaha thats so fitting, I'm a pisces.

delete!!!!!!!

also lame but, better joke than originally posted

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey bartender, I bet you $50 I could lick my eyeball” So the bartender says, “You’re on.”

The guy removes his glass eye, licks it, and pops it back in. The bartender laughs and willingly gives the guy his cash. The next day, the guy walks in again with another bet.

“Bartender, I bet you $100 I could bite my elbow.” The bartender agrees. So the guys pulls out his dentures, bites his elbow, and pops them back in. The bartender laughs and grudgingly forks over the $100.

The next day the same guy walks in and says “Bartender, I bet you $500 I could place a shot glass at the end of the bar and piss in it from here without spilling a drop.” So the bartender thinks this is a no lose situation.

He agrees. So the guy stands on the bar, pulls down his drawers and proceeds to piss all over the place. He pees all over the bartender, the customers, in peoples drinks… everywhere. The bartender is rolling on the floor with laughter. “You owe me $500!”

“That’s ok,” says the guy, “I just bet those two guys at the end of the bar I could piss on you and still make you laugh!”