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86_SR5
11-10-2004, 08:03 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W BUSH


We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. I have asked the pentagon to give a no bid contract to Halliburton to feed the chicken.


COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.


HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
beenallowed to have access to the other side of the road.


JOHN KERRY

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it!


RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been
polluted byunchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by th wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.


PAT BUCHANAN

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that
somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,moneythe government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.


MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had
a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.


DR SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
thechicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
withouthaving their motives called into question.
> >

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.


ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.


CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.


SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


BILL GATES

I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook.
Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.


ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?


BILL CLINTON

I never touched that chicken.


AL GORE

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

Raz_Kaz
11-10-2004, 08:38 PM
another great one, thanks for the laughs

xviciousx
11-10-2004, 08:47 PM
odd... yet again...

kittedb18bt
11-11-2004, 01:33 PM
hemingway and gore were both priceless. i liked the list.

clawhammer
11-11-2004, 01:45 PM
I liked Kerry's and Clinton's response. Two of the funniest ones

Partizan
11-11-2004, 09:04 PM
lmao, my favourite is Colonel Sanders "Did I miss one?".

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