Moral delima

ok here's my situation....

i'm staying with my dad and his girlfriend with her 2 children until the 1st of the year. her daughter's a senior and her son is 14 in the 7th grade. my dad and his gf aren't getting along and they stay together for the sake of a house and car they share...

the moral delima...

about a month ago i wnt to get online and clicked the address bar to scroll down to hotmail and i noticed quite a few adult websites that have been visited. i figured it was the son b/c the daughter always uses the cable internet in her moms room rather than the dial-up in the kitchen. well some of the site i thought were of no harm b/c they were normal for a 14 yr old...but the other sites weren't. for example, sites on young boys and gay sites, and sites to hook up with other gay people. i knew it wan't from pop-up or the like b/c he put the address in wrong for the site he was trying to go to. i didn't tell the mom the names or the types of sites just that they weren't appropriate (sp). she told me that my dad uses this computer also as she wanted to not accuse he son :confused: but my dad never uses this computer for internet purposes just for music when he's in the kitchen. the son ended up getting banned from the computer until i saw him on it last night. this morning i went and check the history and it was more sites where young boys were with adults and sites of naked men. i called my wife and told her and asked her what should i do. she said that it was my moral duty to tell his mom and that what actions that happen b/c i didn't tell anyone would be upon my hands.

my excuse...

my thing is that if i tell her about this again she will get upset and ask me to leave b4 i get my apartment and have no where to go. her son steals all the time from my dad and has attempted to steal from me. in the past month he has dislocated their dogs leg (the taco bell dog) twice and his mom lets him get away with it all...now my thing is that i'm needing to tell someone this b/c i don't know who he could be "experimenting with", who could be "abusing him", or who he's hooking up with from these sites. i personally want to tell my dad so he can tell her, but my wife says to tell her.

any advice on what i should do :uhoh:

First off, be sure that it's the 14 year old; then, when the 14 year old isn't around, I'd take both the mom and your dad to the computer and show them the sites that have been gone onto. Say you're concerned and let them talk it over from that point.

I'm also a little confused, maybe not reading it right but what I'm getting is that you're married and living in this place with your dad and his gf and her two kids, right?

I say stay out of it. You aren't sure who it is and you may not want to know who it really is. Don't listen to your wife, women love drama. A 14-year-old will jack off to anything and you know it. I'd be more worried about the stealing. Steal his stuff right back.

:iagree: the kid could just be curious, if it is even him. And jesus, women are scary.

This is a case where you should suggest that your dads girlfriend put some software on the computer to prevent it from going to sites like that.

^^ better to look at it on the internet than going out there and actually trying it...

I'm a guy, and I think that you should tell. If it's a problem that you don't know whom to tell to, tell it to both of them at the same time. That way if your dads gf tries blackmailing you or something, she won't be able to do that right away, because your dad is right there. Plus if the house belongs to the both of them, than generally one party won't be able to kick you out. Just go ahead and tell them, and prove it too.

if you want to make sure it is him doing it and have some proof that it is him install a keylogger onto the computer and hope that he uses it either when everyone else is gone, or if he uses it to log into his e-mail or instant messaging. then you can have proof.

i know itz him doing it...i have no doubt about the...this morning i enabled the internet security so that those sites can't be viewed...but i still feel like i should tell...but i guess i'll put my conscience on mute

Question: Where are these websites that cater to "young boys were with adult men? Isn't that kind of stuff illegal? If he is writing to a grown man that knows he is a minor, you could do something about it.

I think you should definetely tell, I mean he could be getting molested by someone, don't be afraid, just tell.

I think you should definetely tell, I mean he could be getting molested by someone, don't be afraid, just tell.

nit afaraid to tell...just don't like confrontations...but if it was one of my children, i'd want that person to tell

i think the sites are located oversees...which it isn't illegal over there...ever hear of lolitas, those are like 12 yr old kids with grown men

In my opioun get the hell out of there and then inform them both after you get out then you you have done the right thing and are not living there in danger of what someone is hidding, god forbid that CPS (child protective service ) get involved then hell will be released on all over the age of 18 no matter who is right or wrong a lieing child will rule your lives with CPS in control be safe

:lol: that's what i was plannin...tellin here after i left...

If you like him, just get him alone and come right out and ask if he's gay. If so, you can explain the danger of talking to wierd guys on the internet, desease risk, stuff like that. But if you don't like him, put him in a dress and pimp him out. KIDDING!

I'd talk to the boy. Talk to him about the stealing issues as well as the whole gay thing.

i don't really care for him...but i'm inclined to speak to him about it...seeing how he always hangs out with lil kids and have them calling him...but i'd rather do it as i'm on my way out the door b/c of what i may run into if he goes to his mom about it

This is quite the dilemma.
However, the issue here is good PARENTING.
Sure that kid might have a gay thing, but that is beside the point. It is the job of the parents to provide proper moral and social guidance for these issues.
You have done your obligation to the mother.
Make sure your dad knows about the issues since its his house and computer, too.
DON'T TALK TO THE KID. It's not your kid, not your responsiblity and not your place. It will only make the mother more mad, freak the kid out and possibly get you wrongly accused of sexual harrasement.
Finally get out of there ASAP.
Good luck.