Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Wait, wait.... YEEEEAAAH!!!

My colleague has just been invited by some people we work with to do a trackday at Bedford Autodrome (UK). Among the cars he will drive is a single seater 300bhp Formula Palmer Audi.

http://www.formula-palmer-audi.com/news/pictures/Hyman-fpa.jpg

The son of a bitch. He's rubbing it in, and he doesn't even like cars. WHY DO I GET THE F*CKING WINE TASTING EVENINGS WHILE HE GETS TRACK DAYS?


Life's not fair :( :( :( :( :(

lol... you don't know how to wine taste, he doesn't know how to drive. Don't worry, neither of you will really know what you're doing, so neither of you will enjoy it anyways :p

My colleague has just been invited by some people we work with to do a trackday at Bedford Autodrome (UK). Among the cars he will drive is a single seater 300bhp Formula Palmer Audi.

http://www.formula-palmer-audi.com/news/pictures/Hyman-fpa.jpg

The son of a bitch. He's rubbing it in, and he doesn't even like cars. WHY DO I GET THE F*CKING WINE TASTING EVENINGS WHILE HE GETS TRACK DAYS?


Life's not fair :( :( :( :( :(

just forget to spit out the wine when you do the tasting and you'll forget all about it. Or you'll become even angrier and go to the track and trow rocks at him. Either way it turns out good.;)

Ok, now, random colleague...you'll be driving a 300hp Audi in an event at the Bedford Autodrome...and Crazayjay, let me just check my clipboard....ah, yes...it looks as if you'll be attending the Fourth Annual UK International Tupperware Extravaganza. Cheers!

i say kill the guy. wear a bunch of car apparel the next few days around work and talk about cars. that should get you in.

i say kill the guy. wear a bunch of car apparel the next few days around work and talk about cars. that should get you in.
Now thats a plan!! Well be careful not to leave evidence behind.....

slip some LSD into his coffee the day before. he will be so stoned he will end up smashing the AUDI and never get invited to anymore trackdays.

^Nice pun there. :p ^

I bet the Audi has an LSD.

Yes well written pun..............

Yes well written pun..............
Ditto!

It seems someone up there was listening. Got invited by my contact at the same company to some sports quiz thingie hosted by Jeremy Clarkson on Monday. Among the guests will be Jordan (she of big, biiiiiig boobs) and other sports celebrities. I'll mention the Formula Audi thing and see if i can blag an invite to the trackday. If not, i will assassinate my colleague and take over his responsibilities (and perks).

That's the spirit Jay!!! Have you watched enough CSI to know how to get away with it!?

Unfortunately not. However, i think the trackday is in December, by which time i will have viewed and re-viewed every episode, and sharpened my assassination skills.

Im hoping it wont get to that. Chances of blagging an invite aren't too bad, as my contact is a pretty cool guy, so i'm sure he'd want to go as well once he finds out about it.

Still though, im having terrible luck with invites. First i missed out on the Silverstone round of F1 (booked a holiday before invitation came through the post), and now this.... Those Formula Audi's are f*cking quick, 0-60 in something like 3.5 seconds so i'm pretty desperate to drive one... Fingers crossed.

I say cut his brakes. Do it right, almost untracable.

YEEAAAHH!!!

Got the very last invite to the track day :D :grinyes: :bigthumb: :jump3: :evillol: :smokin: :cool: :D :D :sunglasse :ylsuper:


Smily overload! :D :D :D :D :D

ummm, why dont your change the title to "NOOOOO!!!! (oops! i mean yessss!!!)"

or something similar. happy for you man. promise pics you bastard! ok?

Done :D

I will most certainly take pics, the event is in December so it'll be a long few weeks :D

nice, nice. :biggrin:

Grats man, must feel good after wanting it so bad.

Congrats Jay, now make us proud and beat everyone's time at the track day. Then of course rub it in their faces. :biggrin:





PS. At the first thing make sure you go up to Clarkson and tell him that Tiff Needell rules and he sucks. :evillol:

Congrats Jay, now make us proud and beat everyone's time at the track day. Then of course rub it in their faces. :biggrin:

It goes without saying that i will post the fastest time EVER on the track :iceslolan

Then the race driver whose car i will have driven will come up to me and say "not bad, now get your own car"

So shortly afterwards, i start driving for a new team, funded by an eccentric businessman and run by a legendary head designer plucked out of retirement.

After a difficult start adjusting to professional motorsport (the talent is there, but the discipline isn't), I have a bad accident on the track which leaves me in hospital, where i have a wheelchair race with my race nemesis. Whilst being treated at the hospital I start going out with a redhead Australian doctor. We have passionate sex and she asks me what i like about racing cars.

"To control something that is out of control", i reply.

Later on she leaves me due to my inability to act like a mature grown-up. But i mature as a human being and driver, and go on to win Daytona 500 and win back my Aussie hottie. At the end of the race i have a really gay-looking sprint race with my team manager.

The end.

PS. At the first thing make sure you go up to Clarkson and tell him that Tiff Needell rules and he sucks. :evillol:
Dude, i met Clarkson the other day... see my latest contribution to the "piss posts" thread :icon16:


Anyway, he pissed me off in last sunday's TG episode.. the guy changes his mind / alters facts just to make his story better.... But a very nice guy overall.

:D See if you can run over a parking warden on the way and have a fcuking good one :thumbsup:

It goes without saying that i will post the fastest time EVER on the track :iceslolan

Then the race driver whose car i will have driven will come up to me and say "not bad, now get your own car"

So shortly afterwards, i start driving for a new team, funded by an eccentric businessman and run by a legendary head designer plucked out of retirement.

After a difficult start adjusting to professional motorsport (the talent is there, but the discipline isn't), I have a bad accident on the track which leaves me in hospital, where i have a wheelchair race with my race nemesis. Whilst being treated at the hospital I start going out with a redhead Australian doctor. We have passionate sex and she asks me what i like about racing cars.

"To control something that is out of control", i reply.

Later on she leaves me due to my inability to act like a mature grown-up. But i mature as a human being and driver, and go on to win Daytona 500 and win back my Aussie hottie. At the end of the race i have a really gay-looking sprint race with my team manager.

The end.

Too bad you can't turn right though;)



Dude, i met Clarkson the other day... see my latest contribution to the "piss posts" thread :icon16:


Anyway, he pissed me off in last sunday's TG episode.. the guy changes his mind / alters facts just to make his story better.... But a very nice guy overall.


yeah I've seen your post, i've sent it to the NSA's cryptology division. So far they say all their algorithms are useless so its either the best code ever or complete giberish.

thanks for the story jay. shoot me a pm if you remember when you take pics. like i could ever miss a post on AF. haha

Awsome. I am glad it worked out. Be VERY careful not to crash we don't want you getting hurt no less the car.

yeah I've seen your post, i've sent it to the NSA's cryptology division. So far they say all their algorithms are useless so its either the best code ever or complete giberish.
:lol2:

I take it the last two sentences are the ones that threw you off. Translation:
I should really get to sleep now, it's really late and it's only Monday so i've basically f*cked myself up for the whole week. Then something about my presentation on Wednesday and after that even i'm confused :iceslolan


thanks for the story jay. shoot me a pm if you remember when you take pics. like i could ever miss a post on AF. haha
You can tell cheesy Tom Cruise movies have a lasting effect on me :iceslolan

The trackday is 6 weeks away but i'll try to remember to pm you.



Awsome. I am glad it worked out. Be VERY careful not to crash we don't want you getting hurt no less the car.
If i die at least i'll die doing what i love :icon16:

Wonder which track it will be

http://www.bedfordautodrome.com/circuit.gif

:lol2:




You can tell cheesy Tom Cruise movies have a lasting effect on me :iceslolan


That is because your dangerous. :mad:





Wonder which track it will be

http://www.bedfordautodrome.com/circuit.gif


I bet East circuit since its the lowest speed. It does look the most fun too with all the curves.

I would think the East Circut. It looks like it is a slower speed track. But having lots of turns makes it fun.

pray for west curcuit. some nice curves, but the possiblities of oh so high speeds :)

Damn that sux ass....

That is B.S man feel bad formula'ING is very fun.

I bet East circuit since its the lowest speed. It does look the most fun too with all the curves.
I think it'll be that one too.

pray for west curcuit. some nice curves, but the possiblities of oh so high speeds :)
That's exactly what im thinking :D

Damn that sux ass....

That is B.S man feel bad formula'ING is very fun.
^ Read through the thread.

Whatever you do be careful, it would be a shame if something happened to that car...http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/wink.gif (http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&s=#)

hehe..... upon closer inspection, http://www.motorsportsensation.com/ , it looks like i may be driving a host of cars on more than one of the circuits :D

ok, after that last post, i think i hate you. i USED to be happy for you, now i just want you to die. :icon16: :p

ok, after that last post, i think i hate you. i USED to be happy for you, now i just want you to die. :icon16: :p
What could possibly make you say that :confused:























http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/vx220_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/fpa_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/evo_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/frontera_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/caterham_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/jaguar_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/clio_main.jpg



hmmm.... i wonder what it could be :icon16:

ps. the stats on the Clio are shocking :eek7:

Awsome.

funded by an eccentric businessman



Forget it, I already told you I want no part in this :p

What could possibly make you say that :confused:























http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/vx220_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/fpa_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/evo_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/frontera_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/caterham_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/jaguar_main.jpg

http://www.motorsportsensation.com/cars/images/clio_main.jpg



hmmm.... i wonder what it could be :icon16:

ps. the stats on the Clio are shocking :eek7:
Hmmm i do wish i was in ur shoes, all those cars all those tracks..fcuk it im gonna assasinate u and take ur place in the driving seat.. Watch Out lol.

All in favour of assasination and taking his plays say "i'



congrats

All in favour of assasination and taking his plays say "i'



congrats
'i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i' that good enuf?

i like the muddy water picture.

i like the muddy water picture.
Yeh looks good but what is the car in the picture? All i can see is mud and stuff..Oh and a headlamp and a bit of car but thats all. What is it? Ah it kinda looks like a off roader but thats all i can see.

Vauxhall / Opel Frontera

http://opel.terbergauto.nl/images/downloads/personenwagens/walls/1024/frontera.jpg