I'm a hypocrite

I'm laughing right now at what i wrote about trying to stay calm in someone else theard considering how i am barely able too on a dialy basis. My parents transfered me from the HS i wanted to go to to another one where i had no friends to go into a special academic program. 2 years later i still don't have any real friends and the program is compelte shit. Theres no point or possiblity to trnafser and all its done is fuck up my gpa.
they told me i'd have options in the proram to do as much of it as i wanted but that was a complete lie. The rest of the school is pretty shitty and those classes aren't worth taking. So its either take easy classes or be in one where i do work that just fills protocals for requirments in this program IB and be around wanna be genuis. Basicly cars are the only thing i care about, i used to care about learning but we barely do that. Its the third week of school and its already gotten too me. At school the way i maintain my compsure is becoming a zombie, people think i'm high because i can't handle beign alone while doing esenically nothing. Then i go home watch tv and read and go to bed. At night i have a hard time sleeping and cried myself to self a couple times. Now in a couple hours i'm going to go to a school dance to get drunk since i have nothing better to do. I just needed to vent this shit out.

' When you're down to nothing, God is up to something. '

I can relate to you in my own experience. I've moved myself across the country to take the program in college i'm taking now. I have hardly any social life as my good friend and neighbor is in her 40s and a Mom so that consumes much of her time.

My other neighbor is a pot head so i don't hang out with her.

I have different people in each of my classes so i don't get the opportunity to make friends either. And each semester brings new faces to try and learn. It's difficult.

How do i get through it? I spend alot of time in prayer. I read my text books to be on top of the material so i can succeed in my courses. If i get good grades, i have something to be pleased about. I can inspire my 3 younger brothers to excel as i have.

I am part of a youth Bible group, in which i can teach others about Jesus and His role in our lives. I joined a jazz choir to stay ontop of my musical abilities.

On the weekends i will drive the countryside chasing the dark to find the best place to view the stars.

I spend alot of time here at AF because there are so many great people here that love cars as much as i do... it's my family away from family so to speak.

The reason i've shared all this, is to try and show you some ways that you can lift yourself up. For example, you could take martial arts lessons. You can focus your stress and release it and get a great workout that will leave you feeling good. You can become a Big Brother for children without Fathers in their lives and make a difference.

There is always a way to lift yourself up. God works in mysterious ways my friend, my advice could be His 'up to something' that i described in my quote at the top of this reply.

Good luck to you.

im in the exact situation i graduated and i now go to some college where i dont know anybody and just because i dont have any friends there doesnt mean im gonna get good grades or any thing like that il just be a zombie its crap how i used to know everybody at high school i was always down now am reduced to a loser some schools are gay

haha, IB, i used to be in that crap, take easier classes, dont ruin your gpa

Those lasts words "Im going to get drunk because I have nothing better to do" summarises me at the moment!

well maybe it will get better when you get out of school...how long do you have?

The rest of this year and next. Acutaly I feel alot better after venting and having a relatively chill night. One thing about me that i guess is good, is that i can't stay angry for more than a couple minutes without getting tired and taking a break from whatevers causing the problem.

Thanks for the replies guys

I moved cross-country, for a school, that sucked, that I dropped out of. I was soo pissed and bummed at the same time. I've been working full time as a System Administrator for a large company, they actually recognized me for my skills, not what teachers thought of me.

' When you're down to nothing, God is up to something. '

Love the phrase. I have no friends or family here, but I have a job that is rapidly building into a career. Friends are next, and I'm actually starting to get close to a few, after 2 years...

Keep looking up, things will get better.

"I'm a hypocrite"

Join the club..

Just go get laid...you'd be amazed at how it puts everything into perspective. Or...you could do the Jesus thing like landyacht said...you know...whichever.

HAHAHA thanks man, I think I know which one i'm gonna choose.

Seriously, though I apreciate what landyacht said too, but i'm bhuddist and not very religous.

Nice. I'm a Buddhist/Taoist of sorts too. Right on. Stick with it- it helps even more than getting action when it comes to perspective :)