These are supposed to be real tech-support calls:

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_smoke.shtml

This is one of the best ones:

Tech Support: "Hello, tech support, can I help you?"
Customer: (slowly) "Oohh." (pause) "I think I did a bad thing."
Tech Support: "Ok, so tell me what's up."
Customer: "Well, my computer was running great. Everything was working fine, I had no problems whatsoever."
Tech Support: "Ok..."
Customer: "So I decided to open it up and have a look inside. I saw all these wires dangling all over the place. There were grey flat ones, and small red, black, and yellow ones, and it seemed like they weren't connected to anything. So I decided to plug them all in."
Tech Support: "Um, you mean you plugged them all in? What did you plug them into?"
Customer: "Well, whatever I could get them to connect to. I saw pins sticking off of some of the boards that didn't have anything on them, so I plugged all the loose wires in to make it run better."
Tech Support: "And then you..."
Customer: "And so I plugged them all in, and I hit the power button, and there was this loud bang and a flash and a puff of smoke. Now it doesn't work at all."
Tech Support: (suppressing all emotion and turning deep crimson) "Can you hold for a minute, please?"

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Speechless...I'm just...speechless. http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/eek7.gif http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/eek7.gif

These are great! :lol2: My fav is:

Customer: "Oh, help!"

Tech Support: "Sir! Are you alright?"

Customer: "I just blew up my computer! What do I do?"

We discovered that the poor fellow had inadvertently stepped on his power strip, turning the whole thing off. The monitor make a slight popping noise as it did. And, it turned out, he was smoking a cigar at the time, and he thought the smoke curling around was from the monitor.

By the time we figured that out, though, he'd already emptied a fire extinguisher into the mess.

Customer: "Hi, I think I've got a problem with my monitor."
Tech Support: "Ah. Do you still have an image?"
Customer: "Yes, best image ever. Thing is, when I look at it from the side, I see red hot components."
Tech Support: "Uh, when you look at it from the SIDE? How can you see any components?"
Customer: "Well, through that big smoking hole."



:lol2:

Customer: "I've been connected to the Internet for about ten minutes now, and my computer started smoking about five minutes ago. Is your building on fire?"

Haha! :lol2:

:banghead:

Some people are that stupid i guess. I think my favourite was the one about the girl that jammed a zip disk into the floppy drive, refused to turn off the computer out of fear she'd lose her paper and the roomate is screaming and the fire alarm is going off due to the computer being on fire.

Hehe, reminds me why i don't have many blonde friends!

why would the wires be loose??? they would all be connected to stuff when he opened it up...

This lady called in, having a problem with one of her programs installation discs...When she told the tech support, he told her to copy the disc and send it in. SHe did exactly that - They recieved a week later in the mail an envelope containing a "xerox" copy of the disc. both sides of the disc, because it wasa double sided disc. :screwy:

why would the wires be loose??? they would all be connected to stuff when he opened it up...

Spare IDE & Power cables. Most computers will have at least 1 or 2 left over (unless you have only 1 IDE cable or have 4 drives connected)...

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I *love* this one:

I work at an ISP in the United Kingdom. The most shocking call I received came from a student at a local college here. He had received a CD for an ISP from an American friend.


Customer: "Hi there. I got this CD from an American, and he says that his ISP is better than mine because the calls are free. So can I install it?"
Me: "Yes sir, that's your choice completely. But is this an American ISP? Because if so, I don't think it will work with your computer."
Customer: "Listen, I happen to be a computer student. I know exactly what I'm doing, so don't insult my intelligence!" (click)
Ten minutes later, he called back, humbled.


Customer: "My computer exploded."
Me: "What!? How did that happen?"
Customer: "Well, the CD didn't work. I couldn't get through to the ISP. So, I changed the computer to American power."
He'd changed the voltage switch while the computer was on, causing the power supply to explode.

I like this one:

Customer: "Hi. I have a Macintosh. I had a disk that I wanted to put in the computer, but it wouldn't go, so I pushed harder, and it wouldn't go, so I pushed REALLY hard, and now it's making funny noises. I think there was a disk in there already."
* Tech Support: "Unplug the computer, now."
* Customer: "I don't want to lose my paper!"
* Tech Support: "Unplug the computer right now. Your paper is lost. Your floppy drive is lost. If you're lucky the Mac will be OK. Unplug it now."
* Customer: "But I don't want to lose my paper!"

incredible, thanks for the laugh.

man.. some people should just turn in their computer and go get a notebook and pencil..

go HERE (http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html) and click the tech support toon. Please note: turn off pop up blockers first.

Being a tech support agent myself, i try not to laugh since i get the same type of idiot customers.