Joke
Oz
09-15-2004, 07:31 PM
Thought this forum needed a joke every once in a while.
George W Bush is doing a Q&A time at a local elemenrary school.
When Little Johnny's turn to ask a question came, he raised his hand and said "Mr Bush, I have two questions for you. Firstly, why are you the president when Al Gore got more votes than you did? And secondly, why did we invade Iraq?"
Just as he finished his question, the bell sounded for recess. President Bush announced that they would come back to Q&A time after recess.
When recess was finished, Little Billy raised his hand. President Bush asked him what his questions were. Billy replied "Mr Bush, I have four questions for you. Firstly, why are you the president when Al Gore got more votes than you did? And secondly, why did we invade Iraq? Thirdly, why did the bell for recess go off 45 minutes early? And finally, what the fuck happened to Little Johnny?"
George W Bush is doing a Q&A time at a local elemenrary school.
When Little Johnny's turn to ask a question came, he raised his hand and said "Mr Bush, I have two questions for you. Firstly, why are you the president when Al Gore got more votes than you did? And secondly, why did we invade Iraq?"
Just as he finished his question, the bell sounded for recess. President Bush announced that they would come back to Q&A time after recess.
When recess was finished, Little Billy raised his hand. President Bush asked him what his questions were. Billy replied "Mr Bush, I have four questions for you. Firstly, why are you the president when Al Gore got more votes than you did? And secondly, why did we invade Iraq? Thirdly, why did the bell for recess go off 45 minutes early? And finally, what the fuck happened to Little Johnny?"
Flatrater
09-15-2004, 08:30 PM
Heard that one before its funny I will give you that. And yes I agree we all need a laugh now and then.
Q: How many John Kerrys does it take to change a lightbulb? A: At least four. One to unscrew the old lightbulb. One to simultaneously announce his courageous commitment to replacing the old bulb. One to vote against funding the new light bulb. And one to denounce George W. Bush and America's Benedict Arnold CEOs for leaving everyone in the dark.Q: Why did John Kerry cross the road?A: He didn't cross the road. He crossed to the middle to demonstrate his grasp of the nuances and subtleties involved in crossing the road, and was still explaining them to the New York Times reporter when the logging truck hit him.Then there was the senator's clumsy attempt to declare himself America's ''second black president.'' Bill Clinton was at least canny enough to get himself anointed as the first black president by an actual black person, the novelist Toni Morrison, who declared that he displayed ''every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonald's-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas.'' It's harder to pull that off when you're a Swiss finishing school boy from Massachusetts. Many's the night John and the other boys in his dorm would lie awake dreaming of their freedom as they murmured one of the traditional spirituals of their people: ''Swing by, sweet limousine, comin' for to carry me home.''
Q: How many John Kerrys does it take to change a lightbulb? A: At least four. One to unscrew the old lightbulb. One to simultaneously announce his courageous commitment to replacing the old bulb. One to vote against funding the new light bulb. And one to denounce George W. Bush and America's Benedict Arnold CEOs for leaving everyone in the dark.Q: Why did John Kerry cross the road?A: He didn't cross the road. He crossed to the middle to demonstrate his grasp of the nuances and subtleties involved in crossing the road, and was still explaining them to the New York Times reporter when the logging truck hit him.Then there was the senator's clumsy attempt to declare himself America's ''second black president.'' Bill Clinton was at least canny enough to get himself anointed as the first black president by an actual black person, the novelist Toni Morrison, who declared that he displayed ''every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonald's-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas.'' It's harder to pull that off when you're a Swiss finishing school boy from Massachusetts. Many's the night John and the other boys in his dorm would lie awake dreaming of their freedom as they murmured one of the traditional spirituals of their people: ''Swing by, sweet limousine, comin' for to carry me home.''
Flatrater
09-15-2004, 08:33 PM
I like this one too!
Bush and Powell Plan World War III
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar.
A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"
Bush said, "We're planning World War III."
The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"
Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!"
Bush and Powell Plan World War III
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar.
A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"
Bush said, "We're planning World War III."
The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"
Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!"
lazysmurff
09-15-2004, 09:26 PM
that last one is hilarious...
Oz
09-15-2004, 09:34 PM
:1: :lol2:
YogsVR4
09-16-2004, 11:40 AM
There all good ones :lol:
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