life sucks.

a whole bunch of things have been happening that make me feel like i don't even want to wake up anymore. i'm sitting here, and i just feel like slouching. i can't sit up straight, like there's all this weight on my shoulders. i'm so depressed and pissed off and bored and hating life...

first, my parents tell me that i now have to pay rent to live in my own house. go on about "becoming an adult" or "you should have expected it" if you want, but i didn't expect it. they pounced it on me without warning, and right at the time when my bank account is running low. this also means that i'll now need to get a new job since my current one is not giving me enough hours.

then, my cell phone breaks. like...snaps in half. people trying to call me, but i can't answer the phone or see who's calling, which is one of my biggest pet peeves. and now that i have to pay rent, i don't know when i'll be able to afford another phone.

rent ALSO means that i won't be able to afford a car, YET AGAIN, until spring. great, another set back from me getting a car. why do i even try?

on the topic of cars, every douche bag who expresses interest in buying my old rusty POS 240SX as a parts car, falls out of contact with me before the deal can be sealed. so i'm still stuck with this piece of shit, and now i desperatley need the money.

my tattoo: an inch long section became irritated and is scabbed over. i'm not sure what it'll be like underneath when the scab comes off, or how long the scab will take to come off (it's been 2 weeks already). the rest of the design is scab free except for this one spot, and i'm afraid it'll be terribly faded and i'll have to go in for a touch-up. another thing i can't afford.

my friends are all gone to University or College. i'm stuck here with absolutely no-one to hang out with. my life consists of waking up, showering, going to work, coming home, sitting on this god-forsaken machine for however long, then sleeping and doing it all over again the next day. i have absolutely nothing fun to look forward to, just work.

i have no idea where i'm going either. i dicked around in high school and earned shit marks, so i've fucked myself out of University unless i go back to high school for a year. i could go to College, but not until next year because i put off applying for this year and by the time i got around to it, it was too late (story of my fucking life). i have no motivation when it comes to school and i doubt i'll go anywhere in life.

the ex girl"friend". she claimed she still wanted to be friends with me after we broke. her original excuse for the break was that her feelings changed and she just wanted some space for a while. she maintained that there was always a chance that we could get back together once she was comfortable again. now it's not like i was sitting around waiting for her. i was definitley looking elsewhere, even hooked up once or twice at parties, but all of it was meaningless. deep down i still loved her and only her. to show just how strongly i feel about her, it's been a month since we split, and i'm still not over her. i still think about her and the things we did, the times we had, and i cry. i miss her so fucking much.

so tonight i call her. she said maybe tomorrow we could hang out since neither of us worked. i call to find out that she "forgot" she made other plans first, so we couldn't hang out. oh, and she's going away for a week on saturday, so tomorrow was the last chance we could've hung out before she left. gee, thanks...

so i ask her what her plans are that she has tomorrow. without warning or without prodding even (i don't even know why she went into it because my question had nothing to do with it), she goes into this long shpiel about how she doesn't want to lie to me anymore.

i won't type out the whole conversation, but the gist is: for the last 2 weeks of our relationship, she was seeing someone else. he was the reason that she broke up with me, and she's been with him ever since, lying to me the whole time so to "not hurt me".

you fucking BITCH! you didn't want to hurt me at first. well did you think waiting a month and letting all this tension build up would help at all?!

as soon as those words left her mouth, i sat for a second. then i vomited. all over my jeans, all over my carpet. took me half an hour to scrub it out.

after i finished puking, i asked her if he was there. she said no. then i hear his cellphone ring in the background. nice, way to stop lying to me.



so here i sit, feeling like my heart has been ripped out of my body, feeling like i have no reason to wake up in the morning anymore. feeling like i live in an apartment building rather then my house now. feeling like i have no future, that i'm going nowhere. feeling like i'm alone in this town with no friends and no-one to go to for advice, or hang out with to get my mind off of things. my face hurts from crying, my eyebrow piercing is bleeding because my face has been scrunched up all night, my cheeks are sticky with tears, the inch-long section of my tattoo is stinging, and my room smells like carpet cleaner.

i want to die.

This shit's circular man - an upturn in your life has to hit sometime. And don't worry about the slut - her time will come as Led Zeppelin says. Keep us updated.

Check your PM's, B-rizzle.

Wow sounds exatly like the shit I went through, things will get better for you. Dont worry about the ex. there are tons of good women out there, if I can find one Im sure you can too. Feel free to PM or Im me anytime if you wanna talk about. Ive been there before, so I know what it feels like.

What the fuck. If you just change that story to you going to university, you had a spit-fucking-image of my life. We're the same in every minor detail it's scary.

The hardest thing in life is watching the one you love, love someone else. I felt that tonight.

Alcohol + Pool B-Rizzle. 5 hours ago I was almost in tears (Various reasons, none of which I want to go into- but it's similar reasons to yours for the most part), then I got tipsy and found some company, as well as a new drinking/pool on Fridays buddy.

Try your best to make an effort to meet new people, you'll thank yourself for it one day, my good friend.

Sorry to hear of all the rough stuff going on Brian. Its to bad this shit takes so long to turn around. It won’t happen overnight, but you need to get yourself motivated to change some things in your life. Your still real young so your options are really open. Perhaps a tour in the service (could be the coast guard), a roughneck job in Alaska, some time in the Peace Corps, work on a cruise ship or anything else that gets you out of town and away from the focal point of your current problems.

I hope you can get over all the issues. Things will never be the same again – ever. I wish you good fortune.

yes it definitely sounds like you need a life change, like YogsVr4 said, go out on your own, do something random (not suicidal) and move out. Get an oddball job in some city and start living your life, if you work hard at what you do, you can do almost anything.

I'll never understand why people cry over the lying whores.

But keep awake men, life turns good.

I'll never understand why people cry over the lying whores.
Its because they always rip out our hearts and in most cases stomp on it in front of us, then they kick us in the balls before they leave.but then you find the right one then you dont have to cry anymore, the only crying you do is tears of joy

Does the realization that she was just a stupid bitch not take hold?

i'd only feel stupid for a day and go on with it... but oh well.

she is a stupid bitch.

but it doesn't change the fact that i loved her more then i've loved anyone, despite all the shit she pulled.

no-one seems to understand that. people tell me to just get over her, burn the bridge or whatever. it's just not that easy for me with her, so you'll have to acknowledge that fact.


with that said, i can't thank you all enough for the kind words, well wishes, offers of help, and PM's (from those who have sent them to me). it does help, a bit, to know that others are out there. doesn't really make me feel any better, but unfortunatley there's nothing anyone can do to make me feel better, so thank you all for trying.

i'll keep you updated.

I know you cant just let her go, that takes time to get over, best thing you can do is to try and forget about her. Go out and have some fun, meet new people and try to meet some women as well. And if you want to talk your more than welcome to, PM or IM it doesnt matter. PS women seem to love the "guy on the rebound" routine, given your current situation that may work quite well, keep your head up things will get better :thumbsup:

I agree. I like Yogs idea on the peace corps as well as the cruise.

Brian check you PM.

TS out

Glad to see you're keepin' on.

I hope things get better for you. I know what you mean about "slouching". The last couple of weeks at least twice a week, sometimes 3 or 4 I just wake up thinking negative thoughts and no matter what I do I can't get them out of my head. Today was the same. Starting to feel better, I just have to watch something that can stimulate my mind instead of causing me to wonder off into depressed land. Best wishes.

Suislide, i feel for you man. I'm going to go ahead and let out a few things that could help you get on your way with this girl. First off, i can relate to you exactly. If you will look at my other post "A goodbye present" you will see that we are in about the same boat.

You see, the diffrence between what people are telling you to do, and what you wanna do is emotion and reason.

Here's emotion (and exactly what i feel right now). - I love this girl sooooooo much and i could spend probably the rest of my life with her. Why cant she feel like this for me and we just be happy together. Instead of her going off and messing with some other fagget loser that doesnt deserve her and cant treat her as good as i can.

Here's reason - The girl doesnt feel attraction for you (which is EVERYTHIHG when i comes to going out with girls). She met some guy that had a good bit of "game" so to speak, and took her from you. Because that what she is feeling for him. A strong attraction.

Here's the diffrence. These guys on this forum are not FEELING what your feeling for her, so naturally your telling them not to say "there are other girls in this world to go out with, ect". But the truth is their right. A powerful feeling that you have for her is called attraction.

One of the main reasons you feel so heart broken is because of jealousy. Jealousy is the most POWERFUL ATTRACTION mechanism in the world. It will cause people to fight, kill, cry, ect. over things that normally would not be that important. So what you HAVE TO DO, and i'm not saying that you should do it, BECAUSE UNLESS YOU WANNA FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR A LOOOOOONNNNGGGGG TIME, your gonna have to get out and meet other girls, bro.

The number 2 reason is that she "dumped" you (so to speak) first. Which inquires another thing. That she is sooooooo challenging to get back, and that she doesnt "want you" (so to speak) anymore.
So what your feeling right now, i can relate. Except the "i dont like you anymore" part.

Let me tell you a little about my situation. I am completely head-over-heels for a girl i had been dating for a while, she kissed another guy, ect. The diffrence between you and me is that i literally had to slap the shit out of myself and put my very strong emotional feeling aside, and do what i have to do.

Obviously the girl wants me back, but i HAD to find another one.

Some of this might not make sense because i know it, but unless you've been explaining it for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time, its hard to get people to realize it.

I'm going to go ahead and do something i've never done before.

Check these websites out

www.doubleyourdating.com
www.doclove.com


Make sure you invest in the first website, its three times cheaper than the second one.

I've gone through every portion of these websites, the book, advanced series, ect. to try and get to be the most successful i can be with girls, and not have something like this happen so often.

But seriously. Dont call her, get out and have fun. Be busy ALL THE TIME, it helps.

If you want i can give you some NLP excersises to boost your confidence to be able to get out and meet other women. But whatever you do, you have to check out that first website.

If you have any questions PM or me, i'll do whatever i can to help you. I'm so sick and tired of this shit happening to guys that dont deserve it. Like you, myself, and everybody else.

Sorry for the long post yall, just trying to help him out as much as i can.

harsh situation there. I only have one of those problems (all my friends have gone out to college as well, leavin me alone) and I already feel somewhat depressed. My advice is to think about what you can do right now.

Talk to your parents about what you are going through, and why paying rent is not a good idea right now. Once they see that their son is seriously depressed, I'm sure they will give you a break, at least temporarily until you can get back on your feet. As for the girl problems, they screw with every dude's brains. Everyone gets hurt, and the best thing to do is try to look for someone else that's worth your time.

...
Agree x 100,000

Stangj, thanks for the great post.

unfortunatley with the tight restraints on my money, i cannot sign up for either of those websites. but it's not as if i have trouble meeting women. not at all. in fact, i found someone who i really really like, when i went to my friend's cottage for a big party 2 or 3 weekends ago. me and her hooked up and while most couples who "hook up" at a party will just go and make out or fuck and then never talk again, me and her only made out for a bit...and then talked for like 3 hours. we have so much in common, and i saw her a few times after that.

the bad thing?

she moved 2 hours away for University about a week after i met her. :banghead: thank god for my "impecable" timing.

right now, it's hard for me to meet women because i don't have much opportunity. school was a major social aspect in my life. (for those of you that don't know, i graduated in 2003 but went back in 2004 to upgrade marks). now that i'm not at school anymore, i don't interact with nearly as many women on a day to day basis. at work, sure there's a few cute hostesses. but since i'm in the back, as a cook, i don't get to be out front meeting all the new people that come in and out. the only people i see are the servers that come back to collect the food.

and now with my severed ties from school, it's also possible that i'll miss out on word of any parties or social gatherings that may be happening. i DO have friends in younger grades, and would go anyways just to meet new people. but it might be hard.

i'm also going to try to visit as many of my friends at their respective Universities/Colleges as i can. go for a weekend or a few nights, or even one night if that's all the time either of us can afford.

i just need to get out there, but with my schedule the way it is, it's just hard for me to meet women.

and don't even suggest i go clubbing, cause that sure as hell ain't up my alley.

I hear you on the school thing, I've completely fucked my chance of ever getting anywhere in life with the exception of my parents basement :D. But with the whole thing about not going to UNI in my mind it's completely overrated the only thing you get is the expirience of being away most people around here make more money from doing something you can get at a college I mean I know people who make MAD cash doing physical labor things like electricions(sp) mechanics. And it's more fun than an office job. And with the woman thing for 1 person being happy with some chick there are 100 other people in the same position as you like myself.

I would like to be able to offer some great advice, but I can't. All I can say is I am sorry for what is happening to you and I hope your situation will improve. If you need to talk, I can listen. You know how to contact me.

Sounds cold hearted but... Lifes A Bitch.

I've been in the same situation as you...minus a few things (ie: the car, and paying rent)

I do belive you live in Ontario? (correct me if I'm wrong) but, Autotrader is a good thing...with the gauging interest in 240's, even if your's is not road worthy, it would more than likely be scooped up in minutes after the latest issue is released.. It'll cost ya $25 but, It'll save you from all the dicking around that everyone else is doing.

The girl...well..dude.. I say this to everyone; You cant marry your first g/f. Your a young guy...there are millions of other fish in the sea (corny, I know) you have plent of life left in you to find (or be found) another great girl, and dont have your heart set on settling down with the first one you meet.

I was with the girl of my dreams for 14 months, then I decided I needed a little time to myself..and..well...she turned into someone I had never seen before, basically your average STALKER!...I have come close to restraining orders several times..but..Shes gone to college now! :icon16:

About the tattoo, don't pick the scab whatever you do! Most tattoo shops will do your touch ups for free, (as long as you don't wait a year to decide it needs to be touched up) Maybe go and show the artist what has happend to it, and see what he/she says about it, they may have some sort of special ointment to apply specificly for when tattoo's scab. I know I am going to have to have my new one touched up, It seems to have a small section of scab on it aswell.

For the school thing...You're in the same boat as I am..only I still have to graduate.. I hate school, with a passion. I know College is probably not for me, I can't handle being in a classroom. This is why I have chosen to do an apprenticeship. Has this crossed your mind? You get paid to learn! and after you are done your apprenticeship (which you have been getting paid for the WHOLE time) you will get paid the same (if not more) than someone that has gone to college to learn the same thing. Tradespersons are dissapearing quick. If you are interested in any trade at all..now is the time to do it.. You are gaurenteed to find work anywhere, anytime.

Just some of my pennies. :2cents:

just so you know, she wasn't my first girlfriend.

I'm marrying my first...

Keep ya head up:sunglasse