Todays Joke

Two brothers, John and Richard lived in the same town. John with his 12 year old cat, Richard with their 88 year old Mother. John's whole life was his cat. He never went anywhere without her. One day he was faced with a terrible decision. He had to go to England on business for his company and he could not take the cat into England with having to quarantine her for 14 days. He wouldn't do that so he was faced with either losing his job or leaving his cat.


Finally he decided to trust his brother with the cat for the week he would be gone. He gave Richard detailed instructions, schedules, food, etc. Finally he flew to London and called Richard every few hours to make sure Gracie the cat was ok. 4 days of this went by and John was really getting to be a pain in the neck.


On the fifth day when he called, John asked Richard how Gracie was and Richard told him. "Gracie is dead!" Well as you can imagine, John nearly had a heart attack.


When he recovered he said to Richard, "that was the most cruel thing I ever heard. You know how much I loved that cat, why couldn't you have broken it to me gently. You know like when I called said something like, 'well she's OK but she is up on the roof.' And then when I called the next time, tell me 'oh oh, bad news, she fell off the roof and she's at the vets'. And then the next time break the news that she passed away. At least I would have been a little prepared for the bad news."


"Yes, you are right John. I am sorry for being so heartless."


John accepted Richard's apology for being so uncaring, and then said, "oh, by the way, how's Mother?"


Richard then said, "well, John, she's OK, but she's on the roof!"

Sorry but that was hella lame.

I had to read it twice to see if maybe I missed something... Nope it was just lame.

:loser:

...dude...that sucked...

Hahahaha, whats not to get? The mother is dead.

Hahahaha, whats not to get? The mother is dead.

whats not to get? it wasnt funny.

He'll be here all week, be sure to tip your waitress.

He'll be here all week, be sure to tip your waitress.

There must be a mistake sir, I ordered the joke of the day and this seems to be yesterdays cold leftovers... :lol2:

Funny concept - it was just too long, too many details, and too many rules (we have to remember 'on the roof' means dead, he lives with his mother, etc) so by the time the punchline hits we're too tired to laugh

yeah, I analyze jokes

Maybe its me, but I thought it was funny.

Hey, it was funny. I thought so anyways.

hahahahaha I think its funny

hahaha...there was quite a bit of thinking involved. I really don't like to think, especially when I'm sick.

amusing

hahaha...there was quite a bit of thinking involved. I really don't like to think, especially when I'm sick.

Wha? No thinking involved... well, not really. 'Twas a lame joke, though.

tough crowd...

huh. I don't know whether to laugh or to tell you to die, so I'll just stick with "huh."

Oz is the last person I'd want to tell to die....

because he's a mod? :p

Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

Tough crowd.

Tough crowd.

Either that or a pretty bad Joke... :evillol:

:banghead: This will teach me to post jokes without actually reading them first.

Can it be has Oz run out of jokes?

ehhhhhhhh :eek7:

WHERE'S TONIO!!! WE WANT TONIO BACK!!!

Sadly, Davo i thought posted somethign funnier. See, it was quick and to the point and when I'm in class, I want something quick. Can't take up half the class time and then I barely let anything out.

No it's not inuendo...

haha, I have to save this thread, and it was the first joke I had in mind.