Old Fears are so hard to get rid of (long)

So my girl is watching a movie with a guy named Adam that she goes to school with and says she'll call me later... that was a few hours ago. I KNOW I shouldn't be panicing and worried about it... I KNOW I can trust her... I swear I can't believe Dani fucked with my head this much that it's so hard for me to trust. One of the guys Dani cheated on me with is named Adam so it just raises superstition in my head... why can't I fucking get over this? I've known Laura ever since I was a child and I feel greatly for her... dare I say love?

All I do is smoke and worry and it drives me fucking insane. If I don't have a cig I swear I'll die over this shit. But why? Cuz 95 percent of my exgfs have cheated on me? She's not the same. I know her. I've lived most of my life around her and her family. I can trust her... right?

It's a fear that I hold, deep within my heart. The fear of disloyalty and abandonment. I can sit and blame it on a thousand things yet, I know that I can overcome this. I know that I have the strength inside to trust again, wholeheartedly at that. Why is it so hard? Why am I so concerned with a serious relationship with her when I'm only 18? I'm so young... why am I rushing to marry?

No self esteem. I know she's around better looking guys, much more attractive than myself. They're intelligent in the areas she's interested in, at least more so than I am. They're not as intelligent as me, but they have commitment and drive that I don't, or at least it seems that way as they are in University and I am not.

I'd like to say it's more of a "I don't trust him" deal. He's a young male at a predominantly female school... wonder what he wants, right? Why is it that this bastard is going after my girlfriend? Now I'm accusing someone I don't know of things he may or may not be doing. I swear I need to start dating ugly chicks so this is less of a problem.

But I reassure myself... she's a virgin. She had never kissed a boy in her life until she kissed me (and I know this is truth for a fact). Yet, it also brings on more doubt. She told me she wanted to lose her virginity to me next time I came down. Maybe she's curious and wonders what it's like to be with another? Maybe she's so stressed out she can't handle it anymore? Maybe he got her drunk...

I can't think of it that way. That's happened way too many times in front of me though... Why was I the only one trying to stop it? It's almost 1AM and still not a word. She should be in bed getting ready for class...

I'm so fucked up....

-Andrew

Have another cigarette..

Have another cigarette..
:1: Brilliant.

Dude just relax, true shit happens but it looks like you have no troubles finding other girls so you can alway fall back. So why worry. Plenty of fish in the sea for you.


Trust me there are guys out there much worse off than you. Heck I have not been in even one date for over a year and a half. So just chill and relax.

start smoking cigars.

Dude just ask her what happened. She had another guy over to watch a movie, who said anything happened between them. If she told you someone was coming over the odds are nothing happened, if she wanted to cheat on you do you think she would have told you someone was coming over? All of my old gfs have cheated on me, so i know where your coming from. Just close your eyes and think of all the goodtimes you've had with this G/F and it will make you feel better. guys thend to worry about things like this, the more you care for her the more you worry, its like natures test really, if you can get over that you will be fine.
BTW you think that girl fucked with your head, you have it easy, with my last ex she fucked with my head for almsot 4 months. It got so bad i had to have the phone company block her from calling me, I had to block her email, I even had a 6'9" cop friend of mine visit her "off the record" if you know what i mean :evillol: Even after all this that bitch still wouldnt leave me alone, she had the nerve to have me threatened! It finally stopped once i sent a virus to her computer and totally wiped her computer clean.

haha, awesome. nice work :evillol:

YOUR girlfriend is watching a movie with another guy? Dont you think she should be watching the movie with you? This is going to come off a little harsh........ i think you should be worried about it. Why in the hell would she be watching a movie with another guy? Honestly. If she liked you as much as you like her i THINK she would be watching the movie with you, no? Sorry if i'm being a dick but the best thing you can do is say "fuck it", and find someone else. Its not hard, just go talk to a girl. Find a friend that has a girl he knows, do something. Get this girl off your mind! Its going to kill you if you dont.

Just think, would you rather have a girl that worshiped you or one that was fuckin watching movies with other guys? You will be so much happier if you take this advice. Trust me, i'm only 17 but i've been there. And the best thing you can do is move on. The girl most likely likes the guy. Just find you another girl, or 2 or 3, and she will come crawling back to you (then you can reject her and rub it in her face). :smile: Good luck.

Reporting to you live from Laura's dorm room hundreds of miles away from my hometown. :lol: I decided to make the drive and now I'm down here visiting her. I'll post more later but it's time for her anatomy test.

...I'll post more later but it's time for her anatomy test.

Failed.

Was that innuendo for sex?

I didnt read any of the posts above except.

Heres what I say. Give her something she cant get from anyone else but you. Theres this girl in my Auto class, I gave here a flower I made out of steel that I welded up. She absolutely loved it. Now who else is going to give her a flower made out of steel?

Was that innuendo for sex?

Haha! good 1. probly true to. :smile:

You all have serious problems... awesome work with the steel flower!

I gave here a flower I made out of steel that I welded up. She absolutely loved it. Now who else is going to give her a flower made out of steel?
Damn it! i was actually thinking of making my a rose out of colored and hand shaped acrylic(lexan). I guess my idea want that original after all :(

Damn it! i was actually thinking of making my a rose out of colored and hand shaped acrylic(lexan). I guess my idea want that original after all :(

Now Im going to make her a rose out of steel, which outta' be fun.

If i find out your hitting on my GF Ill kick your ass, I dont care if you are a mod

Um, ok. Where'd that come from?

lol, wow. call her and ask her honest answer buddy. and people joke around alot on here, if you cant handle it, youa re on the wrong fourm.

Move on. Your heart will probably be broken many more times in your life. I always thought it was the end of the world when I broke up with a girl/woman that I thought would be the one. Heck, after my divorce, I didn't go on a serious date for over 10 years! Now I'm with a woman I can really enjoy life with. We've all been there, so keep the faith.